


Never Really Over

by sleepytime



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cheating, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Minor Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny, i think, this is supposed to be a comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25385122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepytime/pseuds/sleepytime
Summary: Doyoung and Jaehyun are dating for more than 3 years. Divergence between the two creeps in.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 27
Kudos: 127





	1. Sturm und Drang

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-write of one of my previous fics. Simply felt like the plot screams Jaedo so here we are. Enjoy ^^

Another ordinary weekend.

Jaehyun is lying down on the sofa with his phone in his hands, running out of social media sites to check out as he listens to his boyfriend's rant about work.

“...and then that woman simply tried the lipsticks DIRECTLY on her lips," Doyoung complains, sitting on the other side of the sofa, "so unhygienic! Ten just texted me about serving a customer doing the same during his shift. It has to be the same woman! Ugh.”

Jaehyun responds with a hum, not paying full attention to what Doyoung blabbers. He is very used to his boyfriend’s verbal onslaught about his job.

“And, you know what..., Jungwoo broke up again.”

“By _broke up_ you mean...?” He asks, mildly disturbed by his boyfriend’s lack of elaboration. The sudden change of topic finally catches Jaehyun’s attention.

Doyoung is visibly hesitant.

“The autopsy report says the cause of death of his boyfriend is unknown,” mutters Doyoung.

“Are you serious?" Jaehyun finally sits up straight, mouth hanging open as he stares at Doyoung with wide eyes bcand eyebrows raised, " _Again_?”

"Well...Jungwoo and his boyfriend were getting a massage in the hotel where they stayed in Bangkok,” Doyoung start to explain, “Apparently all people in the room, Jungwoo and the masseuses included, thought his boyfriend was just sleeping very soundly on the massage table during the aromatherapy session, but he was actually...dead, like, all of a sudden.”

“Fuck...,” Jaehyun visibly swallows, “This is even creepier than last time where his boyfriend fell from the window in his office.”

There is hesitation from Doyoung to agree with Jaehyun, but he nods after a short pause.

“True, and also that time where his boyfriend got knocked over by a lorry, and the other time where his yet another boyfriend accidentally poisoned himself with chlorine gas by drunkenly mixing bleach and vinegar. But... it’s an accident. I mean, all these are accidents, right?”

“It’s getting harder and harder to simply brush it off like this," Jaehyun narrows his eyes, "the thing is, he was with 4 different guys, and they ALL end up dead! The mortality rate of being his boyfriend is ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT.”

“Everyone dies in the long run,” Doyoung replies dryly.

“I mean, yes, but this is still... kinda creepy isn't it?" replies Jaehyun, "he has to tell his future boyfriend about this, right? It’s about that person’s safety.”

“I don't think I'll do that if I were Jungwoo. His past relationships have nothing to do with his current one. What’s the point of being excessively honest?”

“You should let people choose, don’t you? I mean, if that guy chooses to stay even after knowing that, I have nothing to add," Jaehyun reasons, "By the way, show me how Jungwoo looks like, I’m super intrigued.”

“I got a new phone and all my older photos are in my computer,” Doyoung takes out his phone and scrolls through his photo album, “I don’t think I have any photos of him in this phone...oh wait, there’s a group photo.”

Jaehyun leans forwards as he squints at the phone screen, right before he asks with noticeable assertion.

“Jungwoo is the one on the furthest left?" 

“How do you even know?” Doyoung gasps, “Ten should be the only one you know in this photo other than me?”

“So it’s him, right?” Jaehyun allows a slight, close-lipped smile, with a finger pointing at Jungwoo in the group photo as Doyoung nods fervently.

It takes Jaehyun a few more seconds before he retracts his finger on the screen, “gosh, your friend could be a real jinx," he quips as he mildly massages his temple, I feel kinda dizzy just by staring at his face for a few seconds.”

“Oh fuck off. Don't blame it on my friend," Doyoung tucks his phone back to his pocket. "Are you alright? You have been feeling unwell these days. It must be work.”

There is no immediate respond from Jaehyun. Instead, he leans on Doyoung’s shoulder, eyes smiling as he mutters affectionately, “Can I be excused from doing the dishes?”

“You sneaky bastard," Doyoung snorts with a sidelong glance, "I am amazed by how many different types of excuses you can give. It’s been 3 years and you never repeat any of them.”

“Please...,” drawls Jaehyun, looking at his boyfriend with his puppy eyes.

Doyoung crosses his arms and trots to the kitchen, “I hate you. But you are lucky that I like you. And it’s good that you are in advertising,” grunts Doyoung, as he turns the tap and starts rinsing the dishes, “at least in some other occasions your creativity is put into good use.”

Jaehyun chuckles and lies down on the sofa again. “Hyung..., I want some chips too. Can you bring some back here from the kitchen after you finish doing the dishes?”

“GO. FUCK. YOUR. SELF.” 

* * *

Life goes on.

It is the birthday of Doyoung and Donghyuck’s mother. Donghyuck booked a table at Busan’s most expensive Korean Barbecue restaurant as a ' _celebration_ ', even though Doyoung secretly thinks it’s just an excuse for his step-brother to wolf down more meat.

The problem is — Jaehyun is now late for almost an hour. Doyoung has been repeatedly calling his boyfriend, but his phone appears to have been turned off. He can tell that Donghyuck is obviously HANGRY, and his own stomach is growling also.

“Hyung,” Donghyuck scowls, staring at his step-brother across the dining table, “your boyfriend is studying abroad right?"

"Uhh...no?" answers Doyoung, caught slightly off-guard by the question, "he was once in America for four years though."

" _Oh_ , silly me, I thought he is still there," Donghyuck answers with a straight face, "but at least he must be situated in another time zone, right? Or else which part of _dinner at 7:30 p.m._ does he not understand then?"

Doyoung cannot come with a single word to counter, and his brother simply continues, "can you try to call him again and see where he is? I mean, if he’s dead or has escaped from Busan for some illegal stuff, at least we know by now, so that we don't have to wait for him endlessly.”

“Of course I tired. I guess...um..., he is still working. He is quite busy these days.” Doyoung says dryly, “let’s just start ordering food first."

“YES. PLEASE.” Donghyuck exclaims with a smile, flipping the menu with a gluttonous look.

“It’s fine, Doyoung, if he’s still working, we shall wait,” their mother soothes.

“We’d better not,” Doyoung tries to convince his mother the otherwise, “I don't want us to sit here holding the table; people are standing outside waiting for one. And it’s almost 8:30. Their best dishes could be sold out soon. Let’s just order.”

Doyoung's mother can only nod reluctantly, seeing how she is the minority among the three.

* * *

It is approaching mid-night when Jaehyun finally gets home after a long day of work.

“Babe. I’m home," he announces right after he closes the front door of their apartment.

To his surprise, Doyoung does not respond. He can definitely hear squeaking sounds and tap water running from the kitchen, indicating that his boyfriend has to be in the kitchen, doing the dishes.

“Babe, are you here?”

As soon as Jaehyun finishes asking the question, he sees leftovers and one-fourth of what seems to be a birthday cake on the dining table.

Only by then does he finally remember that today is Doyoung’s mother's birthday, and he has long promised to attend their family dinner.

“Shit...,” Jaehyun softly mutters to himself. Not only has he stood his boyfriend’s family up, he basically vanished without a trace for the whole night, as his phone is dead. Slowly, he plods into the kitchen, and there he sees Doyoung standing in front of the sink, scouring dishes that seem to be squeakily clean to start with.

“Babe,” Jaehyun stutters, as he gazes at Doyoung's back. Obvious to Jaehyun is that his boyfriend has absolutely no intention to turn around and acknowledge his existence.

"I...I am sorry. I was very busy and my phone was dead. I know that's not an excuse and it’s definitely on me. I'm just...terribly sorry." He knows he definitely owes Doyoung an apology, or something even more than that, but he does not know how to start the conversation.  
Doyoung simply keeps on intensely wiping the dishes with his scouring cloth. “When will the next NBA match be?” He asks, with his eyes locked on the plate that he is holding.

“Huh?” Jaehyun is caught off-guard by the abrupt change of topic.

“I am asking - the next match of the National Basketball Association, the NBA, the one that you really love watching, when will it be?”

“...July 31st?” says Jaehyun with uncertainty to the intention of this question — Doyoung never watches NBA matches.

“And it's between which teams?” asks Doyoung, adding an extra pump of detergent on his cloth.

“Lakers versus Clippers?” replies Jaehyun with doubt.

A striking pause then ensues in the kitchen, with only squeaking sounds filling the silence.

“See? you always remember what you want to,” Doyoung deadpans, “and you wilfully forget what you don’t.”

“Oh hyung you know I don't mean it that way....,” Jaehyun soothes, “I... I was in an emergency meeting with my boss. I was so occupied with the meeting and I don't know that my phone was dead. I would've...”

“Well, first, I don't care what your reason is,” Doyoung interrupts sharply, finally turning around to look at his boyfriend, “Second, the problem exactly lies in how you DON’T EVEN REMEMBER our dinner. _You. Don't. Even. Care._ Is it that hard just to text or call me? I can easily cover you up by saying that you are super busy with your work, or that you are sick. It’s perfectly fine. It’s just me, my mum and Donghyuck anyway. But you simply pulled a no-show and let all of us wait for you aimlessly. What am I supposed to tell them?”

Jaehyun cannot utter a single word, knowing that he is completely wrong in this regard.

“Ever since we were together,” Doyoung continues, piling the dishes on the drying rack at the same time, "my friends frequently ask me questions like: _isn’t Jaehyun too young for you_? Even my mum has asked me once. And you know what do I tell them? I was like: _No, it’s true that Jaehyun is younger than me, but he is very mature for his age._ I was always defending for you! And look what you have done today? How ironic is that?”

Jaehyun can only step forward and hug Doyoung tenderly. “I am just super super super sorry.”

“Don’t say it if you don’t really mean it,” Doyoung mumbles with a monotone with his face buried in Jaehyun’s shoulder.

“I definitely mean it!” Jaehyun almost yells, hugging Doyoung more tightly, “I was just... too occupied with what’s happening in the meeting with my boss, er, my ex-boss, to be precise. I have... just... no excuses at all, and I am truly, deeply, completely, sorry. Let’s find a day to have dinner with your mother, shall we?”

Doyoung could feel his rage waning, perhaps being wrapped under Jaehyun’s arms will always be his soft spot, “You better remember what you have just said,” he utters with a softened attitude, “Why are you in a meeting with your ex-boss anyway?”

“He has just quitted his job and found an insanely better one from a rival company.”

“Then?" Doyoung wonders, with his arms still wrapped around his boyfriend, "What’s so important about it, and why does he need to hold a meeting.”

“He will be leading a department in Seoul. He was persuading Yuta and me to follow him and move to Seoul also.”

The answer is nothing but sobering. Stunned, Doyoung withdraws his arm from and gazes at Jaehyun’s eyes. To his despair, he cannot find the slightest hint of worry on his boyfriends’s face, as if Jaehyun is perfectly content with this new job offer, one that requires him to leave his boyfriend alone in Busan.

“Oh. Wow.” Doyoung turns around, facing the kitchen sink again, still feeling absolutely befuddled by what does Jaehyun's answer imply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading and comments are loved ^^


	2. Discomposure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Haeundae beach and Gwangalli beach mentioned in this chapter are two of my favourite places in Busan. Both are equally amazing but Gwangalli is less crowded (which makes it the better one for me between the two). Make sure you pay a visit to these two places if you ever visit Busan ^^.

oyoung

The next day, Ten, Jungwoo and Doyoung gather for afternoon tea. They are supposed to talk about Ten's new (bitchy) boss and that weird customer, but the topic quickly shifts to Doyoung and Jaehyun's conflict the day before.

“So, that’s the end of the convo? What does your  _Oh wow_ even mean?” asks Ten after taking a sip of his tea.

“I don’t know,” says Doyoung, “I was astounded by how chill he was when he told me about his new job offer. It's like he was telling me what he had for lunch.”

“Are you sure he will take the offer and head to Seoul?” asks Jungwoo, “or he is still considering the offer?”

“I share the same query,” Ten replies, adding one more teaspoon of sugar in his milk tea, “actually, do you think he is asking you to go to Seoul with him?"

“He didn't ask me,” Doyoung shakes his head, “at least not directly. That's for sure. He simply said someone offered him to work in Seoul. Do remember we were in a post-conflict scenario when he said this, which makes it less likely that he was saying this as an intro of an invitation.”

“That’s a weirdly in-depth and critical analysis,” Ten drawls out (and Doyoung gives him the classic death stare), “okay, let’s just say... he really takes off to Seoul, what are you gonna do?”

“I can’t tag along, can I?” Doyoung replies coldly, stirring his tea with a teaspoon, “we are not married, nor can we as of now in Korea, sadly.”

“You don’t need to get married to tag along. In fact, you shouldn't describe this as tag along. If you want to move to Seoul with him, I simply can’t see why can’t you do that. You work at Nature Republic for god’s sake. There are literally tons of them in Seoul, especially in Myeong-dong. How hard is it for you to find a job there? And you are a good sales assistant,” says Ten, “take this from your colleague,” pointing a finger at himself.

“We are talking like he has asked me to go with him already,” Doyoung replies dryly, “also, you do know what the junior staff calls us behind our backs, right? Apparently we are the  _cancer_ , the  _loafers_ , the  _sloths_ , of our store. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. Moving on, can someone talk about something more cheerful?

“Oh, about our beach party, Kun said he can join us next Sunday,” says Ten.

“That’s nice! Almost forgot it’s coming soon. We are going to  _ Haeundae _ right?” asks Jungwoo.

“Thought we are going to  _ Gwangalli _ ?” wonders Ten, “ _ Haeundae _ is too crowded, especially with tourists. Jaehyun will come too, right?”

“He said he would,” Doyoung answers hesitantly, “but that was two weeks ago. He has probably forgotten about it. I’ll confirm with you later tonight.”

Exactly as Doyoung expects, Jaehyun completely forgot the coming beach party.

“I have to work on that day.”

“Not that I’m surprised.” Doyoung hisses.

“It’s not like I want to work on a Sunday either, babe. We will be shooting the ad on that day. That’s the only day that all involving parties are available.”

Doyoung is disappointed by this answer. What bothers him is not Jaehyun’s frequent absence from these gatherings that he promised to attend, but how he never takes the initiative to tell Doyoung about any clashes of his schedule unless and until he was asked. This is what makes him feel like Doyoung does not even care. To him, Jaehyun’s answer indicates that he does not understand the crux of the problem at all.

Still, Doyoung does not want to repeat what he said yesterday in the kitchen, fearing that they will pick up at where the conversation has ended (i.e. Jaehyun’s new job offer), a topic he is not ready to face yet.

“Whatever... I’ll just tell Ten about this. It’s ...fine. Not like I want other strangers on the beach to drool and stare at your abs. I’ll reserve that exclusively for myself that night,” says Doyoung with a suggestive but contrived smile, “why shooting on a Sunday though? That’s...weird.”

Jaehyun chuckles, “it’s an ad for sunscreen. Sunday is the only day that’s totally sunny this week.”

“Oh. So you are not doing the shoot in a studio?”

“Yeah. in  _ Haeundae _ , actually,” Jaehyun trots to the kitchen in order to grab some snacks.

“You mean, the beach?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun skids to an abrupt stop and turns to look at Doyoung, plotting (what he thinks) a win-win situation, ” Wait .”

* * *

Sunday.

“Tell me again why are we on this abso-fucking-lutely crowded beach instead of that  _ Gwangalli _ beach we agreed on?” asks Ten, with a frustrated expression.

“Jae said he wanted to join us but his team is shooting an ad here,” replies Doyoung, pointing towards the other side of the beach where the filming crew is located, “if we hold our party here he can join us right after the shooting wraps. I don’t know it is that crowded. Sorry.”

“Yeah. It’s so packed here I feel like I can only smell body odour and oily sunscreen. There’s no room for an apple to fall,” says Jungwoo, “will he ever come by though? It’s been three hours.”

“Speaking of the devil,” Ten eyes at Jaehyun who is walking towards the gang.

“Hey,” greets Jaehyun, looking exhausted.

Doyoung turns around and takes a quick glance of his boyfriend before handing him a bottle of water. “Finished filming?” He asks.

“Not really. Our team is taking a break. The model is doing retouches for her make up,” answers Jaehyun with noticeable frustration, “she is so slow in remembering the lines. By the way, do you have coke?”

Doyoung points at the tote bag next to him. Jaehyun kneels down and reaches the bag, taking the whole 6-pack with him as he prepares to leave.

“You have to go already? And why would you need all 6 cans?” asks Doyoung.

“Oh. I’m taking them to the client. I....I’ll be right back.”

Everyone goes silent as they see Jaehyun stride towards the other side of the beach. Doyoung tightens his lips as he sees his boyfriend distribute the soft drinks to what seem to be the representatives from the client company, annoyed, and he cannot pinpoint why.

Jaehyun is bewildered to see Doyoung on the side of the beach where his filming crew stationed.

“Hey,” Doyoung mutters softly.

“Hey...”

“You know... it’s actually perfectly okay if you have to work. You can’t appear in two places at the same time anyway. Now I feel like this arrangement satisfies nobody.”

“Why? At least I get to see you guys during the break, right?”

“But...but they wanted to go to  _Gwangalli_ . My friends and I agreed to go there. I made them switch our venue only because of you, do you get it?”

“ _Haeundae_ and  _Gwangalli_ are the same, aren't they? They both are beaches.” Jaehyun wonders, "I can’t help it when the client has to re-schedule the whole thing. It’s my job."

“I...I...I know that work is extremely important, but, this is supposedly our quality time together. I brought those cans of Coca-cola from home for you, and for my friends, but not your client. Do you get it? I don't know how to phrase it nicely, but I am not coming here to serve your client.”

“I do I do I do,” Jaehyun sighs, “I’ll serve you after I serve the client, okay?”

“No,” Doyoung grimaces, “that’s not what I meant...I...”.

“Then what do you want?” Jaehyun interrupts gruffly, “if I don't want to spend time with you, I won't even suggest changing the venue. I am also trying my best to compromise. Can you at least appreciate my effort?"

Doyoung is quiet, turning his head to his right with a frown to tear away from Jaehyun’s gaze.

"So now what?" asks Jaehyun, "I am the one who should be blamed? Simply because I am trying my best to handle work and life at the same time? It's my job. Don't we have bills to pay? rent? What else can I do?"

“Look," utters Doyoung, as he extends his arm with his palm facing out, "I don't want to argue." He turns around and staggers to the other side of the beach in order to reunite with his friends.

Jaehyun is unsure of what to do. Should give his boyfriend (and himself) some time to cool down? Or should he chase after him? Yet, he is soon forced to choose the former when the cameraman finds him to discuss matters regarding the shoot.

* * *

The shoot took way longer than Jaehyun expected and he eventually gets home late at night. Surprisingly, Doyoung is not there.

Jaehyun nips over to the dining table and sees a memo, obviously by Doyoung.

“ _ I'm moving back to Mum’s.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and comments are loved^^❤️


	3. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is where the story **really** starts to unfold^^ please enjoy^^ Promise I’ll update soon^^

It’s been a week since Doyoung has stayed at his mother’s home. 

The alarm clock in his room goes off, indicating it is 8:30 in the morning. Slowly and reluctantly, he stretches his arms above his head and gives out a yawn. There is no energy inside him at all to get up and face another new day, even though he knows he should leave in 5 minutes or he will be late for work. 

His mobile phone screen suddenly turns bright, displaying that he now has 20 unread messages from **Jaehyun**. Immediately he flips his phone back-side up and rolls himself to face the other side of the bed, ignoring the text.

He knows that most of the notifications from his phone come from Jaehyun anyway, but Doyoung simply does not feel mentally prepared to talk to him. Almost every conversation they had during the final week they have lived together came to an unpleasant end. He is fed up with Jaehyun’s attitude, behaviour, _everything_. 

Jaehyun lies in the same position for a while, until he turns around to reach his phone again and calls Ten. 

“Ten Ten baby, can you help me call in sick today?” Doyoung lazily mutters, “yeah. Thanks. Love you.” 

* * *

Jaehyun has been relentlessly calling and texting Doyoung for more than 2 weeks to no responses at all. Out of options (and his excruciating desperation to talk to Doyoung), he decides to crash Doyoung’s mother’s apartment after work. 

Having said that, he is now wandering in front of the apartment entrance, feeling completely unconfident to press the doorbell. He thought he could hardly wait to see Doyoung again (and apologise to him, if things go well), but now he is not sure what should he say if he _really_ sees him. He reaches out for the doorbell, but he cannot make up his mind if he should press it. 

To his astonishment, the door opens before he makes the decision.

“What the fuck are you doing here, you jerk?” fumes Donghyuck.

“Donghyuck,” Jaehyun goggles at him in disbelief, “How...how do you know I’m here?” 

“We can see you through the security camera,” Donghyuck bluntly explains, pointing towards the said security camera right next to the doorbell, “you have been loitering around like a serial rapist.” 

“I...I am here to find Doyoung,” says Jaehyun. 

“Duh! Who else will you be looking for? He is not here,” Donghyuck bawls, “bye.” 

“Wait, do you know where he is now?” Jaehyun softly asks, “Or when will he be back?” 

“Why don’t you ask Doyoung himself?” Donghyuck retorts coldly, “If he does not want you to know his whereabouts, why should I act as a betrayer of my kin and reveal such valuable information?” 

Jaehyun is silent, having absolutely no idea how to deal with a hostile and uncooperative teenager, let alone one with as much sass as Doyoung. Donghyuck’s attitude clearly indicates that he is not welcomed, and by that it sounds foolish to ask if he can enter the apartment to wait for Doyoung until he gets home.

He is ready to boldly raise his requests but a boy suddenly appears behind Donghyuck and affectionately says, “Hyuck, the noodles are ready.” 

Jaehyun swears he is impressed by Donghyuck's instantaneous change from a frown to a warm smile. 

“Hello. You are?” asks the boy, gaping at Jaehyun, as he places his head on Donghyuck’s shoulder and lays his arms entwined with Donghyuck’s. 

“Let me introduce,” the adoration in Donghyuck's voice is blatant to everyone, “Jaehyun, this is Mark, my...” 

Donghyuck’s voice gradually diminishes in volume as the sentence goes, as he realises he does not know how to properly label his current relationship with Mark. 

Mark turns his head to look at Donghyuck and notices Donghyuck’s hesitation. He reaches Donghyuck’s hand, holding it with interlocking fingers and mutters, “ _boyfriend_ ,” gazing directly at Donghyuck’s eyes. 

Donghyuck cannot help but grins, almost bursting into a boisterous laugh, but he quickly reverts to a straight face when he remembers _that jerk Jaehyun_ is standing in front of him. 

“Yes, my...my _boyfriend_ ,” Donghyuck stutters, still trying to control his lip corners from turning upward.

“Aren’t you a bit too young to have a boyfriend?” Jaehyun wonders. 

“Well, obviously, maturity does not come with age. You are the best example,” Donghyuck coldly retorts, “and Mark, this is Jaehyun, a jerk, and also my step-brother’s...” 

Donghyuck’s voice diminishes again, for the exact reason. He is clueless of how should he label Jaehyun and Doyoung’s current relationship.

“on-and-off boyfriend, currently _off,”_ Donghyuck blurts out _._

Before Jaehyun can barely raise his voice to protest, another voice appears behind Donghyuck’s back. “Donghyuck-ah, who’s at the door?” Donghyuck and Mark quickly retract their interlocking hands and turn around. 

It's Donghyuck and Doyoung’s mother. 

“Oh! Jaehyun,” she exclaims as she walks to the door, “Sorry, I was blow-drying my hair in the washroom with the door closed. I thought Donghyuck was just talking to the deliveryman.” 

“Hi. Mrs. Lee,” Jaehyun greets with a diplomatic grin, taking out what seems be a gift from his bag and handing it to Donghyuck’s mother, “Happy belated birthday, sorry about last time.” 

“Oh wow, you are more than a month late, is this supposed to be a pre-gift for next year?” Donghyuck jeers. 

Donghyuck’s mother leers at Donghyuck to hush him, before she smiles and contentedly receives the gift with both hands, “Thank you, are you here for Doyoung? He is out with Ten in Seomyeon.” 

Silence then fills the room, as Jaehyun tries hard to come up with something to continue the chat. 

“I will tell Doyoung that you have come by,” Mrs. Lee acknowledges with a soothing smile, “I am sure he will find you when he is ready to. You know, communication is the most effective when both sides are prepared.” 

Jaehyun hesitantly nods his head, clearly understanding what Doyoung’s mother is implying with her last sentence. 

He wants to tell Doyoung’s mother (and Doyoung) that he may not have the time to “ _wait_ ” until Doyoung is _prepared,_ as he has just officially accepted the new job offer in Seoul this morning. Yet, he has no idea how to work this into the conversation without further complicating the situation. 

“Thank you Mrs. Lee. I...I guess I should go, good night.

* * *

Two weeks pass by.

Doyoung is going to have lunch alone near the store he works at, thinking if he should turn left for Starbucks or turn right for Issac Toast. Ten has called in sick after partying so hard the night before. There is minimal interest from him to eat with other junior staff members who call him “the _loafer_ ” behind his back either. 

His phone rings before he can make a firm decision. Doyoung takes out his phone and gazes at the caller’s name.

This can be the only time Doyoung needs a big inhale before he answers a call.

“Hello?”

“It’s...It’s me,” mutters Jaehyun.

“Yes,” Doyoung replies calmly, “I know.” 

There is the strongest urge within Doyoung to sound emotionless, even though it’s an emotional moment for him to hear Jaehyun’s voice again. He is prepared for the worst for the reason behind Jaehyun’s call. Ever since the day his mother told him that Jaehyun paid a visit during the time he was out, Doyoung has not received any texts and phone calls from Jaehyun, nor has he talked to him after the tragic beach party.

“I...I’m leaving to Seoul, today, with Yuta,” Jaehyun drawls out.

Just as Doyoung expects. 

“Oh, congrats,” Doyoung weakly quavers, as he wipes off the moisture at the corner of his eyes, “um...” 

Only background noises passes through the line — for a period longer than Doyoung can perfectly suppress his sniffs.

“Seoul can be much colder than Busan during winter. Make...make sure you get yourself more coats,” Doyoung is still trying his best to hide his weep from Jaehyun despite the obvious truth that he is failing rather miserably, “it...it can be much less humid too, cause...cause it is not close to the sea, unlike Busan, you know. Drink more water.” 

“Yeah, I will, um...” Jaehyun gulps, “I… uh…I… I have packed your things in our home. Just...just pick them up when you are free. I’m still paying the rent. If you want to stay there...” 

“I will stay at Mum’s,” mutters Doyoung, finally starting to regain control of his weep, “I...I can’t talk now. It’s almost my turn to order at Starbucks. Yeah.” 

Doyoung blankly stares at the hustling pedestrian walkway. He is not even remotely close to the Starbucks he is heading to, let alone the queue. He simply dreads to linger on this conversation, even though a minor part of him paradoxically wants to listen to Jaehyun’s voice for a longer while. 

“Right, um, I’m arriving at the airport too, bye.”

“...bye.”

* * *

The seat in the economy class is as uncomfortable as Jaehyun expects. 

“Hey...” Yuta nudges Jaehyun across the aisle.

“What?” Jaehyun responds with noticeable annoyance. 

“How old are you actually?” asks Yuta. 

“24, if you mean my Korean age,” answers Jaehyun, “why do you need know this at this particular moment? Can you do the math by yourself? You know I was born in the same year with Sicheng.” 

“I am just calculating how many years you still have before our snobby society thinks you should be in Business Class or First Class for a trip financed by your employer like this one.” 

“Oh _YOU_ tell me, wow,” Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “they reserved Business Class for us, and you fucking idiot insisted choosing the economy. Are you out of your fucking mind?” 

“I heard that this airline hires a lot of good-looking people,” explains Yuta with a smirk. 

“Then? They will look equally good in Business Class,” retorts Jaehyun, “where is your logic?” 

“No, where is _your_ logic?” Yuta scoffs half-heartedly, “will you let the young and inexperienced ones serve those in the esteemed Business Class? Of course not. They have to work in the Economy cabin and gain some experience first. We have to sit here for the cute and youthful ones.” 

“Not _we_ , but just _you_. I don’t mean to stereotype anything, but statistically most flights attendants are girls, and I just don’t swing that way,” Jaehyun counters, “you are sacrificing my opportunity to be looked up to by this snobby society, simply for the sake of your own aesthetic pleasures when you already have a larger pool, cause you swing both ways, and you already have a boyfriend waiting for you in Busan.” 

“Bruh, your mindset is so 1900s,” Yuta jests, turning around and bobbing his head at the male flight attendant behind them, just to signal Jaehyun to have a look, “you would definitely tap that.” 

“ _Shhhhh_!” Jaehyun shushes as he fears that the said flight attendant and the passengers nearby may eavesdrop their conversation, “I’m telling this to Sicheng.” 

“Sorry, he is the one who suggested choosing the economy class,” Yuta permits a victorious smirk, “we like gawking at good-looking people together, that’s how our relationship works.” 

“Okay, too much information. Then why do you have to pick seats that separate us by an aisle?” asks Jaehyun, “don’t tell me this has to do with Sicheng also.” 

“Well, Sicheng said if we sit right next to each other, there is a direct contrast and the flight attendants will only focus on you and your handsome face but not me. Now they won't, which in turn increases my chance of having thunderbolt-shooting eye contacts with them.” 

“You two sound like a bored couple looking for someone for a threesome. It’s 2017, use Grindr for this.” 

“If we are, we would’ve invited you first,” Yuta quickly proclaims, “Sicheng thinks you are super hot.” 

Jaehyun does not want to dwell on this topic, he crosses his arms and sits up straight, ignoring Yuta’s laughters. 

“Would you like something to drink, sir?” The said male flight attendant from behind finally reaches Jaehyun’s row, “we ran out of apple juice. Other than that, everything is available.” 

“Beer will do,” answers Jaehyun, without looking at the attendant. 

“Same,” says the passenger on the window seat next to Jaehyun. 

Just as the flight attendant is about to hand the cups filled with orange juice to the two, a short turbulence suddenly strikes. With a violent shake, both cups slipped from his hands and fell on the window-seat passenger next to Jaehyun. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” rages the passenger. 

“Sorry!” The attendant gulps. He quickly searches the cart and hands the passenger a pile of paper tissue. 

The eyes of people sitting nearby are drawn to the scene. The passenger furiously dabs his T-shirt with paper tissue until he sees a puddle of liquid on the keyboard of his laptop.

“IT'S ON MY MACBOOK YOU FUCKER!” He stands up and drags the attendant into him by his collar, causing the latter to leak a small gasp.

Jaehyun, sandwiched between the two, quickly springs up and firmly grips the wrist of that passenger, whose hand is still holding the collar of the attendant.

“You don't have to shout. It’s an unexpected turbulence," Jaehyun interjects, glaring directly at the passenger’s eyes. He simply cannot bear seeing the situation spiralling out of control in front of him. "He can do nothing about it.” 

Another passenger sitting behind Jaehyun also stands up, “dude, it’s not his fault. Let him go.” 

The cabin is abuzz with murmurs. The livid passenger bitterly releases his hand on the flight attendant and sits down, mildly embarrassed to see that almost everyone is eyeing at the drama displeasedly. 

“I will not let this slide, get your ass ready for a complaint,” the passenger fumes as he glowers at the air host. 

The flight attendant mutters "sorry" again and again with repeated and quick bows before he leaves with his cart, guilt obviously written on his face. The murmurs behind them then finally starts to die down. Jaehyun turns right to look at Yuta, who is looking at Jaehyun’s trousers. 

Only by then does Jaehyun see what seems to be stains of beer near his crotch. 

“You can’t feel it?” wonders Yuta. 

“Nah,” Jaehyun brushes it off. He was too absorbed into the drama that unfolded right in front of him, but he cannot explain it out loud when the main character of the drama is still sitting right next to him with a clenched jaw, “Don’t talk to me. I want to sleep.” 

* * *

The flight arrives at Seoul on schedule. 

Jaehyun and Yuta are standing at the baggage reclaim area waiting for their luggage to appear on the carousel. 

“That guy next to you is seriously rude as fuck, not just because of what he said and what he did. I suppose the attendant is handing paper tissues to both of you, but he simply grabs it all,” Yuta recounts, “and, by the way, what you did was quite charming. But won't you be scared that he may not back down and punch your face instead?” 

“Won’t you do the same?” asks Jaehyun.

“Maybe,” replies Yuta,”cause that air host is cute.” 

“ _Cause the air host is cute_?" Jaehyun reiterates with a questioning tone, "Shouldn't it be like _he really needs help at that time_? Or like...” 

Jaehyun feels a shoulder tap from his right before he can finish his sentence. He turns around, and is surprised to see it is the flight attendant. 

“Good afternoon,” the attendant politely greets. 

“Hi.” 

“Thank you for your help just then. I...I don’t mean to bother you but, um..., since it is quite likely that the passenger next to you will lodge a complaint regarding what just happened. Our company may need you as an eye-witness later, can you leave me your phone number?” asks the flight attendant, as he hands Jaehyun his phone. 

“Sure!” Jaehyun nods and inputs his phone number. “How should I save your name?”

“Jeffrey Casper Jung!” Yuta blurts out.

“Sorry?” 

“It’s Jung Jaehyun. Sorry for his behaviour, my friend is high on drugs,” Jaehyun retorts, as he hands the phone back to the attendant. 

“Gees, don’t joke about this right before we pass the customs you motherfucker. Let me go grab our luggage,” says Yuta as he walks near the baggage carousel. 

“Jaehyun, right?” asks the attendant, “let me call you and you will have my number.” 

Jaehyun can feel the vibration from his phone right after the attendant finishes his sentence. “My turn, your name is?” asks Jaehyun as he holds his phone with both hands. 

“Oh, it’s Lee Taeyong,” the attendant allows himself a chuckle as he holds his name tag on his uniform, averting Jaehyun's gaze. 

“Done,” Jaehyun affirms with a dimple-showing smile after a few taps on his mobile. 

“Thank you so much for today. I have to go now or I’ll miss my shuttle.” Taeyong bows again before he rushes to the exit with a wave. "Bye!"

“ _See?_ ” Yuta makes sure Taeyong is left before he wiggles his eyebrows at Jaehyun with a wry smile. “I told you that you will tap that. I am impressed as fuck, you managed to get his number before we leave the airport. I can tell you two have already hit it off.” 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes yet again, “I can tell you really should shut the fuck up.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess my first 2 chapters are more angsty than I expected HAHAHA. I will still classify this as a comedy or a slice-of-life. I guess my classification will make more sense as the fic progresses.
> 
> Thank you for reading and comments are loved ^^


	4. Scented Memory

Move-in is always an inevitable nuisance. 

Worse still, the apartment that Yuta and Jaehyun share in Seoul is significantly smaller than Jaehyun has once imagined. He has long known that Seoul’s property prices are sky-high compared to that of Busan’s, but he never fully experiences how exorbitant it is until now. 

“We might be able rent a chateau somewhere in the rural area with the amount we are paying,” rants Yuta, “I feel like a hamster in a cage.” 

Jaehyun hums in agreement as he tears the adhesive tape on the large paper box closest to him. It’s the 4th day he has arrived in Seoul, but he has not fully unpacked yet. Bringing with him a lot of items from his home in Busan that cannot be regarded as necessities now seems to be an unwise decision. 

He opens the paper box and, to his surprise, finds a cushion, with the Disney characters Chip and Dale printed on it. 

“What is this?” Yuta chimes in when he sees Jaehyun holding the said cushion in his hand, “I never know you like Disney characters.” 

Jaehyun does not respond but only stares at the cushion as it takes him to a stroll down memory lane. 

* * *

** <1 year ago> **

It was Friday night.  Jaehyun and Doyoung are lounging next to each other on the sofa. While Jaehyun looks relaxed with a bowl of ice cream on his hands, Doyoung is the exact opposite of it. 

“So...So...what happened to the couple in the diner?” Doyoung shivers, covering his face with the Chip and Dale cushion. The horror film playing on TV is too terrifying to be watched with his own eyes, but the undying curiosity inside him also wants to find out what happens next (cause Jaehyun tricked him into watching the non-scary part at the beginning goddamnit). 

“They are now outside in the parking lot,” Jaehyun giggles after he puts another spoon of ice cream into his mouth, with his eyes locked onto the TV screen. 

“And then? What happens outside?” Doyoung follows. He hides both his face and his cushion behind Jaehyun’s back, freeing his hands just in case he needs to cover his ears if the film score becomes too disturbing, “Oh my gosh, why is the wife screaming?” 

“Cause she sees the corpses of all other people on the floor,” Jaehyun responds with the same giggly tone after licking the ice cream off his spoon. 

“What?" Doyoung remains in the same position. "What about the puppies the restaurant owner kept?” 

“They are all dead too, right next to the dead owner.”

“And then?”

“The couple is walking near the corpses~” Jaehyun cackles.

“And then?” 

“There is a nauseating odour of the dead,” Jaehyun slowly drawls out with a smirk. 

“What?” Doyoung does not get it. 

_Brrrrrapppppp._

“FUCK YOU JUNG JAEHYUN! I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU! HOW DARE YOU FART?” Doyoung immediately jumps up and stands on the sofa, fervently fanning the air with the cushion, ignoring how Jaehyun releases a rambunctious laugh. 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA," Jaehyun almost rolls on the sofa, “don’t you know? this is the new feature from this TV station, 4D movie _with smell_.” 

“DID YOU EAT SHIT FOR DINNER YOU FUCKING BASTARD? YOUR FART SMELLS SO FUCKING VILE!” shouts Doyoung, as he continue to fan the air. 

Doyoung is about to yell at Jaehyun again for his mischievous behaviour, until he hears screams along with suspenseful music from the film. As quickly as he can he nips over to Jaehyun and restores to the original position, burying his head behind Jaehyun’s back. 

“Babe, it’s supposed to be a horror-comedy,” Jaehyun asks with a ear to ear beam, “why are you so scared?” 

“I don’t care. Turn it off. I hate you.” 

With another peal of laughter,  Jaehyun reaches the remote and switches to the news channel.

“Oh, babe, do you want some fried fish cakes?” Jaehyun asks Doyoung as he prances to the kitchen in order to look for more snacks., “I bought them on my way home this afternoon.” 

\- 

“On second thought,” says Seungwoo after he takes a nibble of the fried fish cake, “you shouldn’t be eating so much oily fried food, but more vegetables. Your fart really stinks.” 

“Does your shit smell like lavender?” Jaehyun retorts, “We share the same bathroom, and I know it is far from it.” 

“But I don’t fart literally _at_ your face,” refutes Doyoung as he sends Jaehyun the classic stare, “and not at your cushion. You bastard. You can keep the cushion now, better keep it near your pillow so that you can smell how shitty your fart is when you sleep. That Chip and Dale cushion is my favourite and you contaminated it, forever.” 

“Oh, I want to ask this for a long time,” replies Jaehyun, “what’s your fixation with Chip and Dale products?” 

“Don’t you think they kinda look like us?” Doyoung answers with his hands on heart, “you know, they live together, and you look like Chip when you smile with your cute centered protruding teeth showing.” 

“Then what’s your resemblance with, uh, what’s his name, Dale?" 

“Dale has a bigger nose,” Doyoung wiggles his eyebrows “and you do know what people say about people with bigger noses,”. 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and throws the Chip and Dale cushion to Doyoung, “now you are the one doing the contamination. Don’t ruin Disney characters for me, even though I’m not as much of a Disney fan as you.” 

“Don’t throw your fart at me,” yells Doyoung and he takes a sniff off the cushion, “ugh, I feel like I can still smell it. Now my time to question you, what’s your fixation with fried fish cakes? It’s junk food.” 

“Come on, don't we eat a lot of these kinds of street snacks when we are younger,” replies Jaehyun as he gobbles the last bite of the fish cake. 

“No. Unlike you, my cultured soul does not have an appetite for garbage when I was younger,” Doyoung counters. 

Jaehyun turns his head and glares at Doyoung, 

“A _n appetite for garbage?_ The correct vocabulary you are looking for is an appetite for _finer things in life_ , like fried fish cakes, honey butter chips, and handsome boys. I was a true connoisseur of good-looking guys,” Jaehyun comically boasts. 

"Give me a break from all your bullshit,” Doyoung mimics Jaehyun’s classic eye roll. 

“It’s true. I’ll show you pictures,” Jaehyun playfully continues his bluff, “what about you? Did you keep photos of your ex?” 

Doyoung pauses for a moment, deliberately turning his head to stare at the television instead of Jaehyun. 

“I promised my first boyfriend not to keep any pictures,” answers Doyoung with a knowing smile. 

“What’s the problem with taking photos?” 

“I promised Jinyoung I wouldn’t tell anyone about our relationship,” continues Doyoung, as he turns his head back to observe Jaehyun’s reaction, “I don’t want to affect his career as an _idol_.” 

Jaehyun squints at Doyoung with curiosity, “ _Jinyoung?_ As in _Park Jinyoung_ , the one from GOT7?” 

“You didn’t hear it from me,” Doyoung turns his head to face the television again, avoiding Jaehyun’s glare, “I mean, there are so many Jinyoungs in the entertainment industry already, right? You are just too smart to be able to guess it.”

Jaehyun almost chokes by the fish cake in his mouth. "Unbelievable, as in I really don't believe it. This bluff is too much, why don’t you go for an extra mile and say you have once hooked up with Kim Soohyun and Park Bogum?” 

“It was before GOT7 officially debuted and he was in a duo called JJ Project. I was in high school, and they came to my school to shoot something. I was rushing along a long corridor to my classroom, cause I was almost late, and I literally bumped into him and fell onto the floor when he suddenly appeared in front of me from a turn,” Doyoung calmly explains, “he immediately held me up, and gave me his phone number in case I need any medical attention. He said he will be responsible for the cost. That’s how we met and started.” 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “now _you_ give me a break from all your bullshit.” 

“He was a very romantic person, you know, he even used to write poems for me," Doyoung completely ignores Jaehyun's obvious skepticism, "There’s one that I still remember so distinctly. He sent it to me when we were about to broke up. The poem goes like this: _I remember, your eyes were like a universe. The infinite stars spilling made the river in my dreams. Across that river I see my young self smiling, I miss you. Even the flowing tears were beautiful during my youth. I miss you._ ” 

“ ♫♫ ... _I’m still young~ Still so young~ I’m still young~ Goodbye youth, see you again~_... ♫♫ ” Jaehyun interrupts with a singing voice. He cannot stop himself from laughing at how absurd the story goes, “You are like fangirl crazy, Kim Doyoung, this is a song he wrote! _”_

“He really WROTE me that!” Doyoung insists, even though he also finds himself laughing boisterously, “He really did!” 

“ My job is busy but I’m not disengaged from the society," Jaehyun laughs it off, "In fact I do keep up with the entertainment industry cause my job requires me to find suitable celebrities for product endorsement and stuff.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t believe me,” Doyoung pouts.

“Doie you are cute and you don’t need a made-up celebrity ex-boyfriend story to validate this fact.”

“No! He really wrote me this!”

* * *

A shoulder tap from Yuta brings Jaehyun back to the reality. 

“Hey,” starts Yuta, “we ran out of plastic bags. I emptied one of my paper boxes as a temporary one for now, okay? It’s the one by the front door.” 

Jaehyun nods his head. He carries several pieces of trash and the Chip and Dale cushion with him to the paper box, standing by it with apparent hesitation. 

“Gee, why are you staring at the box for trash?" asks Yuta.

”I'm just struggling if I should really throw everything on my hands away," replies Jaehyun, even though he knows he is just mentally battling over _one of the items_. 

"Mmm..." 

With a short sigh, Jaehyun holds the cushion with his arm and throws other pieces of trash into the box. After a sniff, he returns to his room and places the Chip and Dale cushion next to his pillow.

Just as he is about to remove the adhesive tape on another paper box, he can feel his phone vibrate. 

**Lee Taeyong** : 

_Jaehyun! my misconduct complaint was cleared with your testimony :D I defo have to repay you :DDDDDD_

Jaehyun is glad to hear that he is of assistance, but he is weirded out by how Taeyong abbreviates "definitely" to "defo". He is contemplating if he should follow Taeyong's texting style just to make himself look more friendly and amicable. 

**Jung Jaehyun** : 

_dun mention it, I think every1 will offer help at tht moment._

Jaehyun mentally curses at himself for how bad he is at imitating Taeyong's style, and literal curse words slip from his mouth when he reads what Taeyong replies to him. 

**Lee Taeyong** : 

_What about I repay you in bed? ;))))))))_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.The song mentioned at the end of Doyoung and Jaehyun's banter in the flashback is "My Youth", writte and sung by Jinyoung of GOT7. In case you have not listened to it, please do! It's a nice song.
> 
> 2\. Find it quite hard to construct "natural"-sounding conversations and I often have to proofread a few times what I have written before I am satisfied with the flow. Forgive me if you see changes when you re-read them. I weirdly find it easier to edit and proofread a chapter after I posted it.
> 
> Will update soon ^^ Thank you for reading and comments are loved.


	5. Date in Bed /// King of Loafers

For the rest of his life, Jaehyun will deny that it is slightly disappointing to find out the _Bed_ to which Taeyong’s text refers is actually a _bar_ in Seoul.

“So the name of the bar is _Bed_?” asks Yuta, lying on the sofa with his laptop as he is getting ready to Skype with Sicheng. 

“Yeah, apparently it’s a new fancy trend where they replace bar tables and stools with beds so that people can feel like home and chillax,” explains Jaehyun, as he trots to the front door to put on his shoes, “google it.” 

“He has to be interested in you,” Yuta asserts, “or he won’t phrase it in this cheeky and misleading way.” 

“With my dark green hair he probably thinks I’m a very hip person who is ultra-aware of the latest trends in Seoul,” Jaehyun counters, bending down to tie the shoelaces, “don’t overthink too much." 

“Sure, bruh, your explanation is not shadowy at all,” Yuta responds sarcastically with a big wheeze, “anyway, you will need this.” He approaches Jaehyun and slips what appears to be a tiny packet into the back pocket of Jaehyun’s trousers. 

“What _is_ this?” Jaehyun stands up straight and puts his hand into the back pocket, turning his head to look at Yuta with confusion as he sees Yuta staring at him with a smirk. 

Almost immediately, he figures out what Yuta has just given to him without taking it out from the pocket, and his face changes to one filled with grimace. 

“ _Nakamoto Yuta_ ,” Jaehyun irks, “can you get your mind out of the gutter?”

“Better _safe_ than sorry,” replies Yuta, “both Sicheng and I were very glad that I brought this with me on our first date.”

“Gees, too much information,” says Jaehyun, as he opens the front door of their apartment, “bye.”

* * *

Jaehyun does not know why he needs to take a deep breath before he steps into _Bed_. 

As he expects (because he googled it), the place does look cozy, with dim lights and beds sparsely located around the corners of the room. A few other customers are lounging on beds with drinks or shisha pipes in their hands as their conversations compete with the live band and swirl in a puff of smoke. 

“Hey!” Taeyong waves his hand when he sees Jaehyun enter the bar, with another hand holding a glass of white wine. 

“Hi,” Jaehyun greets as he senses an inexplicable feeling of anxiety under his skin. 

“Quite nice right? They got the idea from Prague,” utters Taeyong, with his gaze completely converges on Jaehyun’s eyes. 

Only when their eyes meet does Jaehyun suddenly realise that the last time he felt _this_ nervous was exactly on his first date with Doyoung. A strong sense of unease is always the norm for him on first dates, but he simply forgets how it usually feels when the preivous one took place more than 3 years ago. 

“Yeah, it’s not bad here,” Jaehyun responds anxiously, as he crawls onto the bed they share, feeling slightly guilty about how Doyoung pops up in his mind at this moment. 

“ _Not bad_? Your answer should be it’s _cool as fuck here_ ,” Taeyong jokingly replies, “beer?” 

Chugging two bottles of bear makes Jaehyun feel weirdly at ease. To him, Taeyong seems to be equally relaxed. Both are now slothfully lounging on the bed, with their shoulders touching each other, enjoying the live band on the opposite side of the bar. 

“Oh! I almost forget,” Taeyong suddenly sits up straight and takes out anoutdated-looking camera, holding it right in front of his face. 

“Is this an old-school one that still uses film?” Jaehyun is caught off-guard by the gadget facing him. 

Taeyong offers no verbal answers. Instead, he presses the shutter without any countdown or warning.

_CLICK-CLACK SHTRAK!_

A blinding flash then engulfs Jaehyun’s face for a second. “Oh god, this is super bright,” says Jaehyun, “you never fail to surprise me. Very few people are into this now.” 

“But i like it. I record my life with these,” Taeyong explains, “digital ones are too perfect for me. Imperfections make things more...real.” 

“Then you are not too real,” Jaehyun remarks with his gaze at Taeyong.

Taeyong’s body pauses moving. For a while, he simply reciprocates the gaze with a knowing smile. 

“My sister always warns me that boys with silver tongues are not to be trusted,” Taeyong denotes, as he lies down again with his eyes continue to be fixated on Jaehyun. 

“There are exceptions to every rule,” replies Jaehyun, mentally cursing at himself for how _lame_ this response is. He will shamelessly blame it on the alcohol later when Yuta asks him how does the night go. 

To his surprise, Taeyong seems to be pleased with this answer. He giggles and asks, “why are you here in Seoul?” 

“For work.” 

“I know, but why Seoul?”, Taeyong replies as he leans closer. 

“Umm...well...I work in advertising. People in this industry have to be _forward-thinking_ , and accurately estimate how people react to things and what is about to happen. We just...have to plan one step ahead. Seoul is the largest business hub in Korea and that’s where you find greater opportunities.” 

Taeyong nods his head as he digests what Jaehyun has just said. In fact, Jaehyun knows thoroughly that his answer is just complete _job-interview-bullshit,_ but he needs to blabber something to get pass this question. 

“You want more beer?” asks Jaehyun, digressing from the topic in order to fill the silence, to which Taeyong once again nods. 

As Jaehyun sits up straight and raises his hand in order to get a waiter to take the order, Taeyong notices something slips out of Jaehyun’s back pocket. Intrigued, e reaches over and holds the small packet in his hands for a closer look. 

“Two bottles of Corona, thank you.” 

Jaehyun lies down on their bed again after his order. To his utter horror, he sees Taeyong lock his gaze on a condom wrapper in his own hand. Immediately, he tries to feel the back pocket of his trousers. 

With that, he realises the worst possible scenario of a shitty first date has just come to reality.

“Uh...,” Jaehyun gapes at Taeyong with his mouth open. His posture uncontrollably stiffens, unsure of how should he even _start_ to explain. 

“You are...definitely... _forward-thinking_ , huh?” Taeyong drawls out with a smirk on his face, as he flips the condom wrapper over and over with his fingers. With a close-lipped smile, he slips the wrapper back into the front pocket of his date’s trousers, while Jaehyun is still visibly recovering from how mortified he feels. 

Jaehyun will be forever thankful that the live band from the opposite side of the bar suddenly and invites all customers to gather in front of the stage at that exact moment, grasping the attention from both of them. 

“Shall we join them?” Taeyong joyfully exclaims as he suddenly grabs Jaehyun's hand. He gets up and rushes to where the crowd assembles, dragging Jaehyun with him.

Jaehyun is obviously happy to oblige, gleefully surprised to find Taeyong to be enthusiastic and energetic despite what just happened.

And their hands remain to hold for the rest of the night. 

* * *

“Why are you so late?” Ten asks gruffly when he sees Doyoung, who _finally_ arrives at the _Nature Republic_ they work at, “Did you get my text?” 

“What? What text?” Doyoung is alarmed by Ten’s attitude as he takes off his earphones. 

“Boss has been interviewing all of us one by one since this morning, asking us what have we contributed these years — and then starting to lay people off,” Ten replies to Doyoung as he pulls his friend to a corner where other staff members cannot hear them, “my text is to ask you to start thinking what’s your contribution.” 

To Ten’s amazement, Doyoung exhales slowly and shoves his hands into his pocket, as if this does not affect him at all. 

“Come on. We are the _loafers_ of this store. What do you expect? A promotion? Accept our fate, for life and death are pre-determined.” retorts Doyoung. He then takes out his BB cream cushion in his pocket and applies it on his face. “Better look good for my last day of work.”

Ten crossed his arms with his chin lifted, evidently displeased with this unreasonably laid-back response. “Do you know what is the lowest point an adult can get?”

“What,” replies Doyoung, as he continues to tap his face with the make-up sponge without looking at Ten. 

“An N-E-E-T, neet! Someone who is Not in Education, Employment or Training. That’s _you_ if you get fired today, and you are worse, you are _not even in love_.” 

Doyoung stops applying his make-up and glares at Ten, “you, my friend, are a mean bitch.”

“That’s why we are friends. Can you stay at your mom’s forever? No! You need to pay rent and bills some day. We need a _job,_ ” Ten drawls out. 

“Then what's your master plan?” 

“Look, I don't think all of us will be fired, or else there is no need to see us one by one. Can we like...rat on the junior staff? Like, they always misappropriate make-up samples?” schemes Ten. 

“ _Bitch please_ , You work at _Nature Republic_ for god’s sake. Don't talk like you have never done that. Who doesn’t embezzle make-up samples here? I bet even our boss does.” 

It’s Doyoung’s turn. 

“Manager-nim,” Doyoung greets as he knocks the door.

“Please have a seat, and feel free to call me Taeil next time.” Doyoung’s boss politely acknowledges, “Doyoung-ah, how long have you been working in _Nature Republic_?”

“Almost 4 years,” Doyoung mentally does the math and is secretly shocked by the answer. It feels like yesterday when he first worked here.

“Can you briefly describe what have you contributed to the company?” 

“It’s not easy to describe, you know,” replies Doyoung, even though deep down he knows he has contributed almost nothing. 

“Give it a shot and try?” Taeil continues to be frighteningly polite. 

“Well... you know, we are already very busy cause we got a lot of duties. We have to suggest suitable products to our customers, demonstrate how to use them, perform makeovers, operate the cash register, stock shelves, blah blah blah,” answers Doyoung, “but then, I think it is crucial to do not only what I have just said, but also maintain a neat and well-furbished storefront for customers to have a fully enjoyable shopping experience. So, I think my greatest contribution is that I often review the cleaning tools we have, so that we can tidy our store efficiently, among other duties we have.” 

Taeil is mildly shocked by this unconventional (but borderline off-topic) answer. 

Doyoung points to the mop behind Taeil’s desk and answers, “this Swifty WetJet behind you is bucketless, cause it uses disposable cleaning pads instead of traditional spongey strings, meaning that we don’t have to deal with the hassle of emptying buckets of dirty water. It can even fully absorb liquid foundations in case a customer drops a bottle." 

He then points to the detergent next to the mop, “this Soft Touch Sea Salt-scented detergent is supposed to be used in a dishwasher but I find it unexpectedly useful if you apply it directly on surfaces like shelves and counters. You know, a lot of people come and go, leaving so much grease and countless fingerprints. This helps a lot.” 

“I see…, you like cleaning,” Taeil is now perplexed by how elaborate but non-sensical Doyoung’s answer is. 

“Yeah! I do all the dishes at home. Manager-nim, I will just write down where do I buy these stuff and hand over to someone before my last day,” says Doyoung, “just ask someone to regularly update the list.” 

Taeil leans forward, “Why do you think I’m firing you?”

“Cause everyone here thinks I am a good-for-nothing here?” answers Doyoung casually.

Taeil sits up straight and crosses his arms, clearing his throat before he starts, “I got a call from the Head Office from Seoul last week. We are refining our focus in the coming years on tourists as our target customers. They are opening new branches there, you know, cause a greater portion of them go to Seoul. We just need more people there and less people here,” Taeil reasons. 

Doyoung nods his head, thinking that his boss is going to explain when is his last day and how much severance payment he will receive next. 

“They’ll transfer me to Seoul next month, and they also ask me to bring a few reliable and experienced people to help train the new junior colleagues there," Taeil continues, "are you okay with going to Seoul?” 

“ _Me?_ ” Doyoung's voice turn shaky, “but...but I am the laziest one here!” 

“Lucky for you that’s what I like,” Taeil immediately responds with a sing-song tone, “why should I bring some aggressive ones with me to Seoul? So that they can compete with me and go after my seat after a few years? It’s a promotion, by the way, cause I will be the district manager of Apgujeong but not merely a store manager anymore. _You_ will be the new store manager there if you go.” 

Doyoung slowly nods his head again, still trying to comprehend his boss’ weird rationale behind his decision. 

“Good. I suppose that’s a yes. I’ll tell Head Office about this. You and Ten will go to Seoul, okay?" 


	6. Proximity

Ten promised to help Doyoung to pack his belongings for Seoul, but he is now lazing around in Doyoung’s room.

Typical behaviour of a best friend. 

“Why are you bringing so many make-up samples with you? I’m sure there are tons of them for you to embezzle in Seoul,” asks Ten while he grabs some of the sample packets from one of Doyoung’s paper boxes. 

“Just want to make sure I have enough before I am comfortable to snitch any in our new store,” Doyoung answers casually, as he turns around to put more T-shirts into his luggage. 

“Really? Or you want to make sure you look good 24/7 in case you may run into _him_ in Seoul?” Ten playfully asks, dumping the samples back into the box. 

Doyoung gives Ten the classic death stare, “ _Bitch please_ , that’s such a stretch.”

“Why is this a stretch? Isn’t he in Seoul?” 

“Come on, Seoul is _so_ much bigger,” retorts Doyoung, as he stacks a paper box on top of another with the help of Donghyuck, “I didn’t even run into him when he was still here in Busan, don’t you remember? He once crashed here when I was doing retail therapy with you in downtown Seomyeon. Why would I run into him there?” 

“Well, on second thought, you don’t have to _run_ into him though. Why don’t you call and tell him that you are going to Seoul also?” 

“For what?” 

“As a chance to clear things up? Have you guys explicitly called it off yet?” 

“Do we need to?” Doyoung asks rhetorically, “I think both of us have just naturally moved on. I’m apparently done with him ever since the beach party drama and it’s been two months with literally ZERO contact between us ever since he has moved to Seoul. There is no need to be so adamant about an explicit end.” 

Ten offers no replies. He does not want to bluntly point out that Doyoung is saying all these _to himself_. 

“Oh, by the way, can you call the junior staff from our new store and tell them when we are arriving?” Doyoung digresses from their original topic, "we are map-reading idiots, you know, remember our Osaka trip? It will be better if they’re free to pick us up from the airport.” 

“Oh right, let me call them,” Ten replies, “finally something that I can do well.”

“Yes.”

“I sense sarcasm from your yes.”

“Yes.”

* * *

Jaehyun is examining Taeyong’s camera on the sofa while Taeyong is making their lunch in the kitchen. 

“Be careful, don’t press the shutter, films are difficult to find now,” Taeyong joyfully reminds, as he nips over from the kitchen to the coffee table, with a bowl of noodles on a tray in his hand. 

“It smells good,” Jaehyun compliments, putting down the camera next to him. 

“Yeah, cause I added some homemade chilli paste,” Taeyong places the tray on the coffee table, pointing at the glass jar next to the bowl of noodles, “but I’m not sure how spicy can you handle, just add more if you need it.” 

“Thanks,” replies Jaehyun. Without hesitation, he adds a big spoonful of the said chilli paste into the bowl. 

“Oh god don’t put that much! The spiciness kicks in late and comes in waves,” warns Taeyong, as he leans on Jaehyun. 

To say Jaehyun is devouring the food is an understatement. He leans forward to the coffee table and scoffs more than half of the noodles with the blink of an eye. Taeyong is about to mock him and compare his mouth with a vacuum cleaner when Jaehyun suddenly says, “the paste is _so_ good, can I have a jar?” 

“Sure,” replies Taeyong with a knowing smile, gaze locked on Jaehyun’s face, “In exchange of what?”

“I can... _khoff...khak khak...khoff kahk_ ”. Jaehyun starts to cough uncontrollably as the waves of pepperiness finally kick in. His tongue feels like being attacked by millions of tiny sharp needles. 

Taeyong gives out a mild wheeze, handing Jaehyun a glass of water from the tray while patting his back, “you ok? Drink some water first.” 

Jaehyun grabs the glass of water and wolfs it down. “W _ow_ ,” he mutters right after he empties the glass, while Taeyong chuckles at how silly Jaehyun looks.

The cough eventually dies down but the spicy feeling on Jaehyun’s tongue does not. He starts to stick his tongue out and pants as a desperate attempt to ease the pain. 

Taeyong cannot help but chuckles louder at what he sees, right before he holds Jaehyun’s head with both hands and leaves a peck on the tip of Jaehyun’s tongue. 

“Any better?” asks Taeyong shyly, averting eye contact from Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun is literally dumbfounded by Taeyong’s bold move — he almost forgets his tongue is still stuck out, but he is soon reminded of this fact when Taeyong leaves another peck on the same position. 

“What about now?” Taeyong asks again, passionately staring at Jaehyun this time with his arms wrapped around his neck. 

Jaehyun is aware that Taeyong is going to kiss him. He could feel his breath puff warm on his lips and he reciprocates Taeyong’s urge. As soon as their lips touch, Jaehyun can hear Taeyong moaning into his mouth. His own hands then clamber for a grip on Taeyong’s shoulders, pulling their bodies closer together. 

Taeyong knows he is accurately deciphering the situation when he can feel Jaehyun’s nails digging deep into his skin near his shoulder. Taking this as an encouragement, he shifts his body and pushes Jaehyun down onto the sofa as he lies his body right on top of his, pressing himself to continue the kiss. It does not take long before he then works his way down to Jaehyun’s chest as Taeyong unbuttons his shirt one by one. 

Just when both are befuddled by how quick the event turns, both of them hear the frightful sound of a key rattling in the lock of the front door. In no time, Taeyong and Jaehyun sit up straight and hastily groom their wrinkled garments. 

To Jaehyun’s surprise, it’s Sicheng. 

“Hey,” greets Sicheng as he enters the front door, “oh, I thought only Jaehyun will be here. You must be Taeyong then. I’m Sicheng, nice to meet you.” 

Jaehyun mentally curses at Yuta for being such a big mouth when Taeyong responds, “Nice to meet you, Sicheng. Errr…, Jaehyun, where is the washroom?” 

Jaehyun points to a room to his right and Taeyong rushes into it, unintentionally closing the door with a bang. 

Right after the bathroom door is closed, Sicheng stares at Jaehyun with a smug smile, one that Jaehyun swears no reasonable person could differentiate from the smile of the classic Mr Bean “ _if you know what i mean_ ” meme. 

“Did I just cock-block you,” Sicheng’s tone suggests that he is asserting instead of genuinely asking. 

“No, we are...um...having noodles,” insists Jaehyun, pointing at the tray on the coffee table. “ _Sure, bruh_ , noodles that give you hickeys on your neck and such messy hair,” replies Sicheng. “Why are you here? and where is Yuta?” asks Jaehyun as he tries to change the topic. 

“I’m on my annual leave, so I came up here to find Yuta,” Sicheng replies as his facial expression returns to the Mr. Bean-esque smile, “He went to pick me up from the airport this morning and he is now at the convenient store downstairs buying...um...something we may need to use _tonight._ ” 

“You two are a match made in heaven,” Jaehyun as he rolls his eyes. 

“Probably, Yuta has once drunk-called me, saying that he would never leave me cause I am the only one who has ever been able to take all of him in, whatever that means.” 

“I’m glad he told me this story before, or I will be traumatised as fuck right now.” 

Jaehyun will later be told that this is exactly how Taeyong feels when Sicheng’s statement is the first thing he hears when he opens the bathroom door.

* * *

“So, what are the names of the three kids who are going to pick us up?” asks Doyoung as he pushes the luggage trolley to the airport exit. 

“Lee Jeno in brown hair, Huang Renjun in blond hair, and Na Jaemin in pink hair. All of them shares the same age as your brother actually,” reports Ten, walking along with Doyoung, “I got all these from Facebook and Instagram in case you wonder.” 

“I never doubted your stalking skills.” 

“You know, I once thought I could set you up with some of the staff but then they are like… so much younger than us,” replies Ten, “Those three who come to pick us up all seem to be dating one another.”

“ _One another_?”

“Yeah…, Jeno and Jaemin are childhood friends and then Renjun came to Seoul for working holiday. And things happen after they three met at someone’s birthday party? Jaemin live-tweets every moment of his life so go find his Twitter for details. I forgot most of them cause I just took a glance of their profiles.” 

“ _A glance_. Ha. Seriously, you will shine bright in espionage. Your talent is being wasted here cause. And, for the love of god, don't set me up, cause that's awkward as fuck,” replies Doyoung, “oh, _hush_ , here they are.” 

There is simply no way for Doyoung and Ten to miss out the three “kids”. All three of them are standing right in front of the exit for arrivals with bright smiles, holding an embarrassingly large paperboard that contains Doyoung and Ten’s full name in both Hangul and in CAPITAL ENGLISH LETTERS, as if they are joyously waiting for their parents to come back from a trip. 

“I guess you guys must be Jeno, Renjun and Jaemin,” says Doyoung with a beam, even though he is mildly creeped out by how Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun seem to be overly enthusiastic to meet their store manager. “I have to say, I’m very impressed by the fact that you guys did bother to spell Ten’s name out in full,”

‘Yes, good afternoon, Manager-nim,” all three of them reply with a bow.  
Doyoung reciprocates a bow silently, unsure of how well-mannered his response should be. “Good afternoon to you too, Assistant Manager-nim,” the junior staff bows at Ten, to which Ten also bows back. 

Seeing such genuinely polite and courteous junior colleagues contradictorily sends chills down Doyoung’s and Ten’s spines, especially when the ones in Busan used to label them as the _sloths_ or the _loafers_ behind their backs.

“Shall we...er...get going? Our apartment is in Cheongdam-dong, can you get us a taxi and bring us there? We two dumb-dumbs will get lost if we go by ourselves for sure. 

“Oh! We rented a van in case Manager-nim and Assistant Manager-nim have a lot of luggage,” answers Renjun. 

“Aww....thank you, just call me Ten will be good. Don’t call me Assistant Manager or Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul,” replies Ten. 

“Same here, we aren’t that old, just, like, 4 years older,” Doyoung follows, as he eyes at Ten, “don’t ask me why do I know that.”

* * *

There goes another uneventful month for Doyoung. 

He is slowly getting used to how fast-paced Seoul is as a metropolitan. As the store manager of _Nature Republic_ in Gangnam, a literal tourist magnet, it means his job becomes tens times busier than before, even though he no longer needs to carry out storefront-cleaning duties, which he will deny he actually secretly misses. 

Getting used to how absurdly long the queue is during lunch hours is also something Doyoung notices. He, Ten, Jeno, Renjun and Jaemin are now impatiently waiting for their turn in front of a Thai restaurant near their store. All of them are on their phones trying to kill time. 

“Hey…, has _he_ ever told you where exactly does he work?” Ten asks Doyoung, after seeing Jungwoo's beach party photo on his Instagram (with the hashtag #latergram). 

“Who? Oh, _him~._ Gees, can we not go through this loop again? All I know is it’s in Gangnam, but why should I care? why should you?” Doyoung rhetorically asks with a wry grin, finally feeling mildly comfortable to talk about Jaehyun after all these months, even though he will still prefer using the word _him_ instead of _Jaehyun_ in case they have to explore this topic. 

“Cause Gangnam is exactly where our branch is? and also where we are?” answers Ten, “I mean, it’s lunch hour now, all office workers nearby converge at this street for food." 

"You got nothing better to talk about?" Doyoung replies with a comedic frown.

"Okay, Let’s say, if you _really_ do bump into him, what would you say?”

“I’ll yell at him at the top of my lungs for such a scum he is,” Doyoung blurts out with a laugh. 

“ _Bitch please_ , you are all talk,” Ten joins the laughter, while the younger three are absolutely clueless of what they are talking about. 

Ten’s smile completely vanishes when he notices, over 50 feet away, a person behind Doyoung’s back with dark green hair. At first, he brushes it off by telling himself that he must have been mistaken. This could just be a case of confirmation bias, for how dark green hair and pale skin equals to Jaehyun, vice versa. Yet, as that person slowly treads towards the gang, he realises he did not mistake the identity of the man. 

It is Jaehyun. 

“Uhh…Kim Doyoung,” softly mutters Ten, “I know I have a flair for the dramatic, but this is true. He is behind you.” 

“ _Bitch please_ ,” Doyoung groans with contempt, refusing to turn around. It has to be a prank by Ten —Jaehyun is the topic they have just discussed. 

“He’s coming over,” says Ten with his brows furrowed.

“Oh my god, this is not even remotely funny,” Doyoung answers coldly, apparently annoyed.

“He’s...really...behind you.” Ten reassures with fear in his eyes.

“ _Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul_ ,” rebukes Doyoung, indicating his anger by calling Ten on a full name basis. 

By this time, Jaehyun is just merely 10 feet away. Ten is sure that Jaehyun _does_ see them from such a short distance (or else he is deliberately avoiding the gang). Knowing that he cannot avoid the imminent encounter anymore, Ten eyes directly at Jaehyun with an elegant (albeit, forced) smile. 

“Hi,” greets Ten, “long time no see.”

“Sure it is.” 

Doyoung hears the voice behind his back, and instantaneously figures out that it _really_ is Jaehyun. He swiftly turns his head around and, as much as he does not want to believe, finds Jaehyun standing in front of him. 

Jaehyun gives him a slight nod, even though he appears to be in an equal state of unease. Their eyes meet for a split-second, before both of them shift their gazes away. 

“Hi,” Doyoung answers with a nervous laughter, flipping his hair with his hand as his stare frequently interchanges between Jaehyun and a random lamppost from afar. 

An extremely unbearable silence then ensues among them. 

“Uh...” Doyoung mutters as he continues to anxiously flip his hair, trying his best in his life to come up with something to say, but to no avail. 

“On holiday? or on a business trip?” Jaehyun cautiously asks, arbitrarily staring at Doyoung’s collar in order avoid any direct eye contact. 

“Oh, uh, Ten and I were transferred here last month to train some new colleagues here, yeah...,” explains Doyoung. Before he even completes his sentence, however, Doyoung is cognisant of another man walking close to them behind Jaehyun with a bright smile. 

“Our table is ready,” the said man affectionately utters as he reaches Jaehyun and intertwine Jaehyun’s arm with his, “good job that I start queueing here before your lunch hour starts, huh?” 

Everyone goes silent. Doyoung immediately eyes away from the pair and lands his gaze on another random lamppost while Ten turns his head away in order to hide his widened eyes. Even though Doyoung has no idea who he is, from their body language, painfully obvious to him (and everyone else) is that he has to be Jaehyun’s _new boyfriend_ , or at least, his new date. 

It is Taeyong, who is here to find Jaehyun for lunch before his flight to Hong Kong this evening. 

“Let me introduce,” Jaehyun tries to break the silence, “Taeyong, this is Doyoung and Ten, friends from Busan, and...,” Jaehyun hesitates when he realises this is also the first time he meets the two younger-looking guys next to Doyoung and Ten. 

“Our colleagues, Jeno, Renjun and Jaemin,” Ten interjects as he turns his head back. “Hello! This is Taeyong,” says Taeyong with an energetic tone, waving his hand. 

Only the younger three reciprocate Taeyong’s waves in an equally vivacious manner — Doyoung and Ten can only give a forced smile. 

“Care to join us?” continues Taeyong with a cheerful voice, “we can ask if they can add some more chairs.” 

“Nah, I guess they won’t allow you to triple the seats you originally ask for, especially it’s lunchtime.” replies Ten with a smile. 

“Right...” Taeyong agrees with a smile, holding Jaehyun’s arm with an even tighter grip, “I guess we have to get in first then, cause I have to arrive at Incheon airport later this afternoon.” 

Others nod their heads as a farewell while Taeyong drags Jaehyun along with him into the Thai restaurant. Doyoung swears he sees Jaehyun turning his head around to look at him before he steps into the restaurant, but paradoxically he is not certain enough to ask Ten if he also sees it. 

\- 

“You know, life is short, but it’s long enough for us to fall for a scum or two,” says Ten as he leers at Jaehyun and Taeyong across the other end of the restaurant, “we talked about how this is bound to happen. It’s either you who bump into him or him who bumps into you.” 

Doyoung hums cursorily, ignoring whether what Ten said makes sense. He slowly stirs the bowl of chicken curry with his chopsticks as if it was a cauldron, having no appetite at all after what has just happened. 

“What do you think about Taeyong?” Doyoung asks Ten.

“Pardon?” Jaemin interrupts, thinking the question is directed to everyone on the table. 

After a short pause following Jaemin's response, Doyoung puts down his chopsticks and sits up straight, facing the junior staff across the table. 

“What I mean is, if...you have to compare, am I any different from Taeyong?” Doyoung asks, “you know, the one that you three enthusiastically waved at just then? 

Everyone goes silent upon hearing the question, not sure what should they answer. 

“If you compare our face, he is cuter. He’s better than me, am I right?”, asks Doyoung as he leans forward and gazes at the three. 

Ten can smell trouble coming with Doyoung’s (semi-rhetorical) questions. He pushes his seat back in an extremely slow pace, fearing that it will screech upon the movement. Leaning back as he glares at the three junior staff, he slightly shakes his head at the same time as a warning. 

“Don’t worry about telling me the truth! We should be frank, cause we are a team now,” Doyoung smilingly encourages with an eerily positive tone (at least in Ten’s ears). 

“To... To be very honest, he is a bit cuter, but only because he is younger?” Jaemin slowly mutters, knowing that he cannot be silent forever, while Jeno visibly nods at the statement.

“Oh…, so you think he looks younger than I do.”

“I assume he is younger?” wonders Jeno, “ he just look… younger?”

Ten cannot help but gives out a soft sigh, indecisive of whether the two are too innocent or too slow on the uptake. 

“Okay, so he is younger and cuter than me, great,” Doyoung repeatedly nods his head while he blankly stares at the table, “what else?” 

“But...I think Manager-nim’s face may turn the tables on him in 5 years,” Jeno answers with an uplifting tone. 

“Why?” Ten asks dryly. 

“Unlike a woman who undergoes drastic changes from 25 to 30, a man undergoes drastic changes from 18 to 23. In this generation with such harsh ageism, it is, in effect, the change from a young kid to an ajusshi, which is super scary, cause no one knows what changes one will go through in these 5 years,” Jeno elaborates. 

“Manager-nim, however, has nothing to worry about,” continues Jeno. 

"...Why?" asks Doyoung.

Even Renjun turns his head to glare at Jeno for what his speech could imply. Ten simply wishes there was an air-raid shelter to shield him from the forthcoming apocalypse.

“Cause...Manager-nim you are already an ajusshi?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are finally reaching around 25-30% of the story. (Yay) I know, some of the tagger minor pairings did not appear yet. Sorry ><. He Trust me, I really want them to appear so that my character tags make sense (and no one feels cheated by the tags ) T.T
> 
> I still think my sentences are too wordy. I will definitely beta them (just like what I did for my previous chapters). Once again, thank you for your tolerance XOXO


	7. Blank Space

**8:45 a.m, Saturday.**

“You said you are coming here to Seoul to visit me,” Doyoung groans as he strolls slowly, “but you are here contravening my fundamental human rights.” 

“Come on, drama queen,” says Jungwoo, almost dragging Doyoung as he walks, “can you be quick on your feet, I don’t want to be late.” 

“It’s not even 9 a.m. in the morning and it’s my day-off. I should be on my fucking bed.” 

Jungwoo ignores Doyoung, concentrating on locating their destination instead. With another squint of the Naver Map on his phone, he skids to a stop, “I think we are here.” 

In front of Doyoung and Jungwoo is nothing but an ordinary Starbucks. 

“I need extremely cogent and convincing reasons why we have to travel across Hangang just to be in this particular Starbucks in Ehwa, on a freaking _Saturday,_ ” Doyoung says with a tone indicating that he is ready to fume. 

“Okay, but promise me you won’t get mad.” “Spill the tea.”

“I enrolled in a blind date programme...” 

Doyoung’s face turn into a scowl as soon as he hears what Jungwoo said, for his utter hatred of blind dates. 

“...for both of us.” 

“WHAT THE FUCK? I’m going back to sleep,” Doyoung prepares to stomp away, realising that Jungwoo is bringing him to meet a blind date. 

“Wait!” Jungwoo stops Doyoung by holding his arm, “come on..., don’t you want to turn over a new leaf?” 

“I’d rather turn over in my bed,” Doyoung hisses, “out of all people on Earth, I can’t believe you are the one who acts like a stereotypical straight friend that sets their gay friends up.” 

“Doyoung..., don’t be so negative about this,” Jungwoo pleads with pouted lips, “Ask yourself, where are you gonna find a guy here in Seoul when you know literally no one other than Ten?” 

Doyoung is silent, because he knows what Jungwoo said is not entirely false. He finds no suitable targets from his workplace cause all of them are are either straight or occupied, nor is he an extroverted party-goer like Ten. There are simply no other channels for him to meet another guy, except mobile dating apps, which he finds strongly unreliable from his own experience during college years. 

In fact, considering how Jungwoo’s previous relationships all ended tragically, sometimes Doyoung wants to applaud Jungwoo’s tenacity in finding love after repeated defeats. If he was Jungwoo, he knew he would doubt himself whether he really was the _Black Widow_ that brings nothing but death to his boyfriends. 

Now even Jungwoo, a person who underwent all these, remains to be optimistic and ready, taking initiative to find love, Doyoung starts to question himself if it is legitimate for him to be so passive. 

Seeing how Doyoung hesitates to give a response, Jungwoo further encourages, “just give it try, okay? I scanned through almost all profiles for you. He is now 27 and has already served the army, which sounds very nice. I don’t know how he looks cause he didn’t attach a photo, but the profile said, andI, I quote, _was an ugly duckling who grew up to be_ _like Kim Soohyun_.” 

“ _Bitch please_ , then I must look like Park Bogum.”

“Can you be less cynical for a second? His profile also states he works at an accounting...” 

“ _Wait_ , Kim Jungwoo,” Doyoung interupts, realising something does not make sense, “so, you can attach a photo of yours on your profile?” 

“Yeah.”

“Now let me sidetrack a bit, did you attach a photo for yourself, or for me?” 

Jungwoo shakes his head, “Most people didn’t attach one, so I didn’t. Only very few people did that, usually very very good-looking ones.” 

“Good,” Doyoung breathily says after he exhales heavily as a relief, “now, back to the more important question, say, unlike me, you voluntarily joins this programme, and you really look like the Kim Soohyun, will you attach a photo of yours?” 

“Of course! W _ait_ …”

Evidently, the moment of epiphany for Jungwoo comes behind time when a guy who looks nothing like Kim Soo-hyun suddenly approaches them and asks if either one of the two is Kim Doyoung. - 

**4:50 p.m, Saturday**

“Jae, can you get me the bottle of Chardonnay inside my luggage? It's in my room.” asks Taeyong as he spreads the tablecloth on his dining table. 

Taeyong has organised a casual gathering with his friends in his own apartment in Oido, one that he has asked Jaehyun to join. 

Jaehyun was very contented to do so at first as a chance to meet Taeyong’s friends (and also more people who live in Seoul). He pictured the gathering would be one similar to those he had with Yuta and Sicheng in Busan; one with nuts, honey butter chips and canned beers. 

Yet, after shopping with Taeyong this morning for blue cheese, caviar, and Parma ham in a high-end supermarket nearby, he now feels ambivalent as to whether staying in the same room for hours with people who acquire a taste for very fancy stuff is a good idea. 

“Sure,” replies Jaehyun as he gets up from the sofa, “but why would there be a bottle of white wine in your luggage?” 

“I got it from the duty free when I was in the Hong Kong airport,” replies Taeyong, placing wine glasses on the table at the same time. 

Jaehyun trots to Taeyong’s room and opens the luggage, trying to search for the bottle of white wine among other things. The first item that catches his attention, however, is a cushion. 

A Chip and Dale cushion. 

“Can you find it?” Taeyong also walks into the room, knowing that he packed his luggage very messily. What he sees, however, is Jaehyun holding the Chip and Dale cushion he bought in Hong Kong. 

“Haha, I got it from Hong Kong Disneyland,” explains Taeyong, leaning his head on Jaehyun’s arm at the same time, “cause the one in your room is so worn out, I want to buy a new one for you, do you like it?” 

“Yeah...yeah...of course I do,” Jaehyun answers flatly, as he turns his head around and notices Taeyong’s affectionate gaze. Immediately, he turns his head back, blankly stare at the cushion in order to hide how Doyoung pops up in his mind from his current boyfriend’s gift. 

“I was thinking about giving this to you on our half-year anniversary, but now you found it,” mutters Taeyong with a tight grip on his boyfriend’s arm, unaware of Jaehyun’s reaction, “argh, silly me, should’ve get the Chardonnay by myself.” 

“Yeah...,” Jaehyun casually answers, before realising his response is a tad too cold compared to a normal person who just receives a gift from his/her lover, “I mean... I definitely love this. You are so sweet and attentive, as always. Thank you.” 

“Glad you like it,” Taeyong reaches the luggage in order to retrieve the bottle of white wine, “better get ready, they are almost arriving.” Jaehyun nods and returns to the living room. 

“Oh, honey, help me get some apple juice from the fridge too, one of my friends is bringing her kid,” Taeyong requests just when he applies his orange lip tint. 

“A kid? How old are your friends? How come she has a kid?” asks Jaehyun with the fridge door open. 

“25 if I remember correctly. She is expecting another baby boy 4 months from now too,” explains Taeyong after he also returns to the living room, “her kid is _so_ cute, kinda makes me jealous.” 

“You like kids?” Jaehyun asks as he places the jar of apple juice on the table, surprised by how Taeyong’s answer seem to imply he wants a family and his own kids at such a young age. 

“Yeah,” replies Taeyong while he strolls towards Jaehyun, wrapping his hands behind Jaehyun’s neck with his gaze locked into Jaehyun’s eyes, “don’t you?” 

Jaehyun does reciprocate Taeyong’s gaze, but with significant hesitation. Working in the advertising industry for more than 3 years means that he has dealt with a number of child actors, and he has been in more-than-enough occasions where the child became cranky and grouchy all of a sudden, throwing tantrums at the studio with no obvious reasons. 

To him, at least as of now as a we-year-old man, having kids is not even at the back of his head, but something totally unfathomed. He knows he might be amplifying the negative sides of having a kid, but he is also sure that Taeyong is doing the same on the positive sides of having one. 

“My friends always say I’m the immature one in the gang, you know, it is cruel to see a kid to be looked after by another kid,” Jaehyun tries to joke and laugh away the potential consternation between the two while he hugs Taeyong tenderly. 

Taeyong has absolutely no intention to put pressure on his boyfriend (of less than half-a-year) from his cursory “ _don’t you_ ” question tag, especially when family planning should be something of the _very very_ distant future for both of them, even though Taeyong adores children and naively believes he would get a “yes” answer from Jaehyun. 

Now he regrets blurting out the question tag and has to also laugh away this matter in order to digress themselves from this topic. 

“You are definitely not a kid _last night_ ,” Taeyong smirks after showing a split-second of disappointment on his face, of which Jaehyun actually notices, “anyway, get some crackers from the cupboard too, we need them for the caviar.” 

* * *

**8:00 p.m, Saturday**

Doyoung has been lounging on the sofa alone at home since afternoon after the tragic blind date, dejected as he aimlessly browses the photos in his phone that were taken during the happier times in Busan. 

He misses the old carefree days, and he is thinking of doing something that Ten will certainly stop him (and probably chop his hand off) if he figures out. 

He wants to text that _one person_ whom he _most definitely should not._

If Ten was here, he would scream at him with remarks like “ _bitch don’t you dare_ ” and bring him to karaoke just to get this off his mind. 

Yet, the reality is Ten is no where to be found. Worse still, Doyoung knows _exactly_ what to send to him (and what to reply next) just to open up the conversation without coming off as too desperate or too awkward. 

“Kim Doyoung you are a piece of trash,” he murmurs after he runs his eye over the chat history with _him_ and sends the text, succumbing to the temptation. He then drops the phone on the coffee table and opens a can of beer, waiting for a reply. 

**8:01 p.m., Saturday**

Jaehyun is bored. 

He is now sitting in the dining room feeling like he is in a silent competition with the kid across the table on who is the most bored, while Taeyong is next to him, completely absorbed into the conversation with a glass of Chardonnay in his hand. 

Taeyong’s friends are...too sophisticated for him to communicate with. They talked about art galleries that recently opened in Apgujeong, newest developments in the aviation industry, and, of course, the expected baby boy of Taeyong’s friend, none of which Jaehyun could resonate. 

He unlocks his phone for the 1000th time to check the time. A minute has passed since he last checked an hour ago, or so it seemed. He places the phone back into the pocket and pretends he is paying attention to the ongoing conversation in the room. 

Right after, a vibration from his phone grabs Jaehyun out of his boredom. He reaches his pocket to take a glance and, to his utter shock, the phone displays that it receives a text from _Doyoung_. 

He quickly takes a scan of the room to make sure no one (especially Taeyong) is paying attention to him before he opens the text. 

**Kim Doyoung:**

“ ” 

It takes Jaehyun a while to figure out that this is not a glitch but a blank text.

**Jung Jaehyun:**

“ _Just found me?_ ”

**Kim Doyoung:**

“ _No? Why?_ ”

**Jung Jaehyun:**

“ _just received a text from you. blank. Haha._ ”

**Kim Doyoung:**

“ _pocket-text maybe? Haha. What’s up?_ ” 

Jaehyun once again scoops his surroundings before his next text. 

**Jung Jaehyun:**

“ _late snack?_ ” 

**Kim Doyoung:**

“ _I’m home, just finished bathing, may take a long time before I can leave._ ”

There is a fear inside Doyoung that his text is phrased in a way that makes sound _too_ uninterested. 

Jaehyun’s reply, however, suggests that he might have been over-worried. 

Right after he reads Jaehyun’s text, Doyoung immediately rushes to the mirror in his room and tries on the new black choker he got yesterday from G-Market, visualising what outfit will best match with the accessory. 

**Jung Jaehyun** : 

“ _930 in Hongdae, then?_ ” 

\- 

**9:00 p.m., Saturday**

“Uh, sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you guys’ conversation,” Jaehyun announces as he stands up from his chair, “but I guess I have to leave first, something came up at work.” 

Taeyong immediately lifts his head to look at his boyfriend with a soothing smile, “it’s fine, honey, work is more important." He grabs Jaehyun’s hand and also stands up from his seat, landing a passionate kiss on his boyfriend’s lips, one that Jaehyun cannot fully reciprocate. 

“Promise you have to miss me, okay?” Taeyong asks affectionately. 

Jaehyun quickly nods his head and avoids Taeyong’s gaze before he strolls to the front door, thinking that he may actually arrive early. 

\- 

**10:15 p.m., Saturday**

Doyoung has finally arrived at Hongdae.  
After trying on countless different colour combinations in front of the mirror for almost an hour and a half, in the end, he simply matches the black choker with an all black look— black buttoned up V-neck, black pants, black leather shoes, fearing that any daring and conspicuous colours will result in a fashion faux pas. 

He steps into the agreed restaurant and looks for Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun, on the other hand, cannot help but fixates his eyes on Doyoung right when he enters the restaurant, for how _captivatingly stunning_ he looks tonight. A plain outfit on Doyoung, in Jaehyun’s eyes, exudes a confident and alluring aura, not to mention choker always makes Jaehyun weak on his knees. 

“Hey,” Doyoung calmly waves at Jaehyun, “sorry for the wait.”

Jaehyun can only wave back when he finally trances out, “hey, don’t worry, I wasn’t on time either.” Doyoung slowly approaches the table and sits down, deliberately avoiding Jaehyun’s gaze. 

“What shall we have?” Doyoung rests his chin on his left hand and flips the menu on the table with another, pretending not to have noticed that Jaehyun is actually locking his eyes on him but not the menu. “Oh, they got fried fish cakes, shall we have that as an appetiser?” 

Doyoung lifts his head to brazenly stare into Jaehyun’s eyes after asking the question, knowing that his styling choices does pay off. As he expects, he sees Jaehyun indulgently gaze at him. 

“Shall we?” Doyoung asks again. 

“Oh,” Jaehyun promptly shifts his stare to the menu, “Yeah, I’m fine with whatever, I just had some crackers and a few pieces of ham that are thin like tissue paper. Let’s order.” 

**10:45 p.m., Saturday**

“How long have you been here?” asks Jaehyun, as he wolfs down a piece of ddukbokki. “Around two months?” replies Doyoung casually, filling his dish with some kimchi. “Getting used to Seoul?” 

“Nah, it’s really drier here. It’s autumn now, which means it will only get worse. I have to drink water with honey sometimes, especially after a day at work non-stop explaining stuff to customers.” answers Doyoung with slightly furrowed eyebrows as he holds a piece of ddukbokki with his chopsticks. 

“What about food?” 

“Too many chain stores here, feels like I don’t have a choice sometimes. I miss the mom-and-pop ones. Feels like losing my appetite.” 

“Yeah, same here,” answers Jaehyun. 

“Really, aren’t you doing fine though?” Doyoung jests, putting down his chopsticks. 

Jaehyun furrows his brows, slightly caught off-guard by the change of attitude. 

“How would you lose your appetite when your appetite for _finer things in life_ is so getting satisfied, huh? You must sleep with a full stomach,” elaborates Doyoung with a slight hint of dismay, suddenly realising he could add a bad pun here, “oh, so as he, i guess he must feel very stuffed every night, you know, by you.” 

“What are you trying to say here,” Jaehyun drawls out. He clearly remembers his conversation with Doyoung a year ago about his appetite for _finer things in life_ and the "he" in Doyoung's sentence must be referring to Taeyong. Having said that, as masochistic as it sounds, being (somewhat unsuccessfully) passive-aggressive is a trait of Doyoung that Jaehyun actually quite misses. 

“Nothing,” Doyoung ends stiffly as he holds his chopsticks again, “beer?” 

\- 

**11:30 p.m., Saturday**

“Wanna come up for coffee? Yuta is not here. He is on a weekend trip in Chuncheon with Sicheng,” Jaehyun asks casually, as the two strolls towards the main road after their meal. 

Even before Jaehyun finishes asking the question, he realises his invitation could be interpreted in a _very wrong_ way, especially with Doyoung’s sensitivity and tendency to over-analyse. His addendum about Yuta and Sicheng indeed only concerns how the two can get very _noisy_ in bed during the night. 

With Doyoung’s face turning into a smirk, Jaehyun knows his belief is right. 

“I am genuinely inviting you for coffee _only_ as a...” 

“No,” answers Doyoung, “I feel very stuffed right now, like, with _real food_.” 

Jaehyun gives out a forced smile, knowing that any explanation will be useless. 

“And I’m very tired now, cause I had a long day, but I guess we will see again some day,” continues Doyoung, trying to soothe the atmosphere. 

“Of course we should,” Jaehyun replies, “cut you hair before we meet next time though. It’s getting long.” 

“Racy hair colours does not make you an expert in hairstyling,” retorts Doyoung, “I’m still not sure where to cut it here in Seoul. The one near our...um...your apartment in Busan is too good.” 

“That’s not a real hair salon, but just a place for money laundering. No one cuts their hair there except you,” Jaehyun rolls his eyes, wilfully ignoring Doyoung’s stutter at a particular point of his sentence where their previous relationship is indirectly mentioned, “Triad societies nearby open a shop there in order to key in all the revenue from other illicit sources, and then they act like they earn money from hairdressing in their financial accounts, you know, just like window-dressing. I told you before.” 

“You are crazy,” replies Doyoung with a laugh, secretly missing his creativity, “stop your off- the-wall conspiracies.” 

Jaehyun wants to insist that he is right, but he turns silent because there seems to be no use in arguing about this. 

“Oh, my cab is here,” Doyoung annouces as they arrive at the main road in Hongdae. He nips over to the taxi and opens the car door. 

“If you really want to give styling advice,” continues Doyoung, as he holds the door open and stares at Jaehyun, “tell Taeyong that his orange lip tint is hideous. It’s on your lips since the night begins till now, which means you didn’t wipe your mouth after our meal, which is disgusting, even though I knew you have never formed such a habit.” 

Jaehyun is stunned by how observant Doyoung is, even though, by now, he really shouldn’t be. 

“Bye,” exclaims Doyoung as he enters the cap, to which Jaehyun sees him off with a wave. 

Immediately after, Jaehyun wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and finds what seems to be bright orange pigment on it. He is confused, not as to whether the pigment really is Taeyong’s orange lip tint or just the spicy sauce from the ddukbokki they just had, but, what is it between Doyoung and him? 

Did Doyoung intend to attend this meet-up as a friend? Or as a date? Will anyone be so dressed- up for a friendly meeting? Was Doyoung jealous when he talked about Taeyong during the meal? Or was that just a showcase of his own brand of mean-humour? Why can't he bring himself to candidly tell Taeyong about he is meeting up with Doyoung? Even though Jaehyun is truthfully inviting Doyoung for coffee only, is he inviting him as a...friend? Or as a...date? If it is the latter, is he, technically, cheating? Does Doyoung reciprocate any of these queries? 

What _are_ they? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading (and your tolerance) XOXO


	8. Are you Kim Doyoung?

Another almost unremarkable week has come and gone. 

It can only be “almost unremarkable” instead of “totally unremarkable”, because Jungwoo has been urging Doyoung to another blind date for the whole week. 

“The programme coordinator tells me that this profile has very positive feedback...” Jungwoo persuades, as he pours milk into his cereral. 

“LEAVE ME ALONE,” Doyoung heckles, not even letting Jungwoo to finish his sentence. 

“And both the coordinator and the profile says he _looks like Minho from Shinee_ ,” continues Jungwoo. 

“ _Bitch please_ , Kim Jungwoo, remember that guy we met last time? He also claims he _was an ugly duckling who grew up to be like Kim Soohyun._ Turns out how does he look like, huh?” Doyoung huffs, turning his head to face Ten, “he looks more like the ugly duckling rather than Kim Soohyun. I am not exaggerating.” 

“Hahahahahaha,” Ten slaps his thigh, laughing rambunctiously, almost choked by the sandwich in his mouth, “you are mean, but I like it. Is it _that_ bad though? Won't that be busted once you guys meet? Why does he have to put that in the profile then?” 

“He insisted he is technically correct, cause he shares the same height as Kim Soohyun, so he _grew up to be like_ him, which is absolute nonsense. Not even his earlobes look like Kim Soohyun,” Doyoung begrudgingly explains, “honestly, I don’t need you to look super good, but can you be honest? Greater expectation just comes with greater disappointment.” 

“Consider how all your previous boyfriends look like, I can't bring myself to agree with your statement about how you don’t care about looks,” Ten mocks, as he places his cup into the kitchen sink, “Jae..., I mean, GOT7's Jinyoung for god’s sake, even till now I don’t believe it.” 

“You better do,” Doyoung replies complacently, turning his head to face Jungwoo, “can we go back to our main topic? Jungwoo, Don't you pride yourself on being such a diehard Shinee fan? Why can’t _you_ go and meet him instead?” 

“Cause he prefers someone who resides in Seoul,” explains Jungwoo with a slight hint of woe. 

“Just hand in my profile and say you are me when you see that guy! He won’t know how Kim Doyoung looks like. We didn’t attach photos, remember?” Doyoung exclaims, mentally praising himself for being such a genius. 

“If it turns out that you two do click, and want to enter a serious relationship, I don’t see why he will mind whether you are living in Seoul. Besides, you can always move to Seoul if that really happens, right," continues Doyoung, "even though that’s something to be taken up _much-much- much_ later anyway, cause you may lose interest in him when only his earlobes look like Minho.” 

“Fine," agrees Jungwoo, who finds Doyoung's plan not exactly a bad idea, "you will go with me right? It's next Friday afternoon, your day-off. I checked it from your timetable on the fridge." 

“I don’t do threesomes.” 

“Tsk, _no_. I’m not asking you to meet him. I’m just asking you to sit on the other side of the cafe. Just like what I did for you last time, cause I’m scared, okay? Won’t you feel more secure if someone you know is also in the room? That’s why last time I went with you.” 

“That’s not a fair comparison, I was dragged there last time. Why don’t you ask Ten?” 

“ _WOW! NO!_ Count me out!" Ten instantaneously rejects, "and it’s not my day-off anyway, it’s my shift.” 

“Doyoung _please_....,” Jungwoo pleads with his palms held together.

“Pizza takeaway on you.”

“Deal.” 

* * *

Doyoung’s mobile rings again when he is resting his head on a table at a corner of the cafe where Jungwoo and his date are scheduled to meet. 

It's Jungwoo's call, again, who is sitting across the other side, anxiously waiting for his date.

“…What,” Doyoung sits up and answers his phone lifelessly, staring at Jungwoo. 

“Do you think I have to push my fringe up?” asks Jungwoo through the phone, looking at Doyoung from afar with a beam. 

“No,” answers Doyoung, resting his head on the table again with his eyes closed.

“Do you think I have to roll up my sleeves then?”

“No.”

“You didn’t even open your eyes to take a look.” 

Doyoung opens his eyes with grudge for a split-second before he closes them again.

“No.”

“Argh, the kimchi fried rice and ddukbooki we had last night must be too spicy. Now I feel like my skin is congested, thankfully the break-out hasn't happened yet,” says Jungwoo as he peers at his reflection on his handheld mirror. 

“Oh, _look who’s talking_ , you are the one who suggested that shop,” Doyoung hisses as he stands up, holding his black tote bag in his hand, “they put spicy sauce on everything like it’s water. My stomach still hurts like hell.” 

“Where are you going?” asks Jungwoo when he sees Doyoung walking towards his table. 

“Washroom, my stomach is still turning,” Doyoung replies impatiently as he ends the call and puts his mobile back into his pocket, throwing his bag on the seat next to Jungwoo’s, “I don’t wanna wait until I can’t hold it. Look after my bag for now.” 

“But...but he’s coming! I’ll literally shit my pants if I’m alone here with him.” Jungwoo pleads, holding Doyoung by his arm. 

“No, You’ll just _figuratively_ so, but I will LITERALLY shit my pants soon, you are asking someone to hold their shit,” Doyoung reprimands, shaking off Jungwoo’s hand, “I’ll be back.” 

Doyoung stomps into the washroom and locks the door, turning his back to the toilet seat and taking off his trousers and underwear altogether in haste. 

Almost immediately, he hears a _plop_ sound coming from behind.

Confused, Doyoung turns his head around to take a peek of the toilet seat to see what happened. 

“FUCK!” 

The _plop_ sound, he realises, was the sound of his phone dropping into the toilet water. 

At once, Doyoung scans the cubicle to see if there is a toilet brush or something stick-like, but nothing is found. He swiftly puts his garments back on in order to get out for help. Right after he tries to turn the doorknob to unlock the door, however, he discovers that he is actually in an even more hopeless scenario. 

The door lock is jammed. 

“FUCK!” 

Doyoung violently twists the doorknob again as a desperate attempt, while he can feel the pain in his stomach gradually intensifies from a punch to one similar to a sharp-toothed creature eating him from the inside. 

“IS ANYONE HERE?” Doyoung screams at the top of his lungs, banging the door for attention. No responses can be heard except the echoes from Doyoung’s screams.

“HELLLLLLLLLLLP!”

-

Everything remains tranquil and mundane in the cafe, with relaxing bossa nova music playing in the background. 

Jungwoo is anxiously waiting for his date alone, crossing and uncrossing his legs frequently. He checks the time with his watch again when a voice coming from his back suddenly pops up. 

“Kim...Kim Doyoung?” 

Almost forgetting that he is, supposedly, Doyoung for the moment, Jungwoo slowly turns his head around after a delay. In front of him, to his utmost astonishment, is a man who does somehow resemble Minho from SHinee. 

“Yes, hello,” answers Jungwoo with a shy smile, holding out his hand for a handshake, even though he cannot help but fixate his eyes on his date's face. 

His date, strangely, does not return this gesture. He stiffly bows at Jungwoo, politely asking Jungwoo to take a seat. 

“Hi, in...in case you forgot,” Jungwoo’s date mutters softly as he takes the seat opposite to Jungwoo, jigging his leg at the same time, “my name is Huang Lucas, but...but please just call me Lucas.” 

“Lucas,” replies Jungwoo, “so your profile says you look like...uh” 

“I...I know what you mean,” Lucas politely interrupts, “the coordinator strongly urges me fill in the form with how I look like a celebrity.” 

Jungwoo fervently nods his head. 

“But...but I don’t think in that way,” continues Lucas with darting eyes, “I don’t think I look good.” 

“Please don’t underrate yourself,” Jungwoo soothes, secretly thinking Lucas actually looks really cute with his behaviour, “even though sometimes I cannot help but think in that way also.” 

“No...No way,” trills Lucas, still avoiding eye contacts of any kind by staring at the table, “you...you must be a lot of people’s ideal type.” 

Jungwoo remains his gaze on Lucas, even though he is caught off-guard by the compliment from his date, who suddenly stares at Jungwoo’s eyes for a second before resuming his blank stare on the table and stutters, 

“me...me included.”

-

“HELLLLLLP!” 

Minutes have passed and Doyoung has lost count on how many times he has screamed. He cannot do so with full strength anymore, not because he is out of energy, but the pain in his abdomen will sharply escalate to an unbearable level if he does. 

Standing straight also becomes increasingly strenuous. He jerks his head slightly forward and leans on the cubicle door, banging the door for help at the same time. 

“Sir, is everything okay?” A male voice, together with a tap from the other side of the cubicle door, suddenly emerges. 

“Can you ask someone for help? The door is jammed!” Doyoung yells. Being stuck in this predicament for god-knows-how-long, the voice sounds nothing less than a joyful Christmas carol in Doyoung’s ears. 

“Sure, hold on,” replies the stranger, as Doyoung hears footsteps gradually further away from him, “I’ll go out and find someone who works here, hang in there.” 

“Thanks,” Doyoung answers with a sigh of relief while he places both hands on his stomach, leaning on the cubicle door for support.

-

Jungwoo can distinctively feel a burning sensation on his cheeks after hearing that he is Lucas’s ideal type, but he knows he cannot confirm it with his hands now when he hears Lucas stutters again, breaking the silence. 

“uh...uh...I am sorry if I seem so nervous, and awkward. I swear I’m notthat socially inapt once we grow closer — as in, if you do wish we grow closer,” explains Lucas as his eyes continues to fleet. 

Jungwoo draws his mouth into a line curved slightly upwards and bites his lowering lip, trying to convey that he is actually comfortable with Lucas’s anxiety. 

In fact, he finds his anxiety, coupled with his honesty, extremely adorable. 

“Don’t worry, I am a freelance writer who has no colleagues, so I don’t have a lot of friends either. Some of them are not even in Bu....Seoul, yeah, most of them live out of Seoul. And, by the way, I am nervous too, you know, meeting a new person can be nerve-wrecking.” 

“I know right?,” replies Lucas with a smile of relief, slowly recovering from his stutter after finding great comfort in knowing the feeling of nervousness is actually mutual, “I...I am always like that when I first meet someone, especially when...when I find that person cute. That’s why I couldn’t even bring myself to shake your hand just then when we met, I...I hope you don't mind.” 

Jungwoo shakes his head with a smile, feeling his pulse thrumming in a faster pace. 

“My career does not help in this aspect also,” continues Lucas with a hint of gloom, “cause I am becoming a certified medical examiner, which means my daily duties involve dead people mostly. I...I guess that’s why I don’t have many friends. Probably that’s why....I don’t have any substantial dating experiences either.” 

Secretly, Jungwoo is surprised by how his handsome date has never dated. He is about to tell him about how his dating experiences are also short-lived, just as Lucas suddenly leans in and slowly utters, “that’s why if...if we become boyfriends _,_ I...I must be the dull one, who stays at home a lot after work, will you think I’m such a clingy nuisance?” 

Jungwoo swears the air near him condenses, and there is an overload of signals fierily passing through all the synapses in his brain following what Lucas has asked, resulting in his temporary speechlessness. He knows Lucas’s question is discordant with a normal flow of conversation on a first date, yet he cannot help but picture their pleasingly boring and domesticated life where they cuddle on the sofa watching television in his mind. 

Swallowing hard after a short pause, Jungwoo replies sheepishly with his head shaking, while feeling his heart thrumming almost to life, “not...not at all. I’m a writer, remember? I work at home. I guess we...we can be clingy nuisances together?” 

Expecting Lucas will form a smile (or at least a sign of relief) on his face, Jungwoo is baffled to see his date close his eyes tightly and mumble to himself upon hearing the response. Then, after taking a big breath in, Lucas suddenly stands up with a stomp and moves next to Jungwoo’s seat. 

“Look," says Lucas with a heaving chest, "you have to trust me that I am using every inch of my courage in my body when I say this, okay? I...I know this is absolutely crazy, and I...I don’t even know if asking you now is the best idea, but you are the perfect date I have always imagined.” 

Jungwoo immediately realises how frozen his body has become after the five words from his date. He can only twitch a stiff and awkward nod in response, for how he certainly reciprocates the affection and how unprecedentedly close he is to believe that there truly is love at first sight. Before Jungwoo can verbally respond to him, however, Lucas kneels down with his gaze locked into Jungwoo’s eyes, who then holds out his visibly clammy hand and asks, 

“Would you be my boyfriend?”

-

Doyoung is completely unaware of how Jungwoo is doing.  The only thing he knows is he will be in a disastrous situation if the man does not come back with help in a minute. He could feel his insides are on the verge of explosion. 

“Hey.” 

The stranger finally returns to the washroom for a time longer than he has hoped, knocking on the cubicle door, “I have told the staff, just hold on for a second.” 

“I don’t mean to be rude, but can you ask them to hurry?” Doyoung grumbles while he can feel he is sweating, “I can’t hold on for one more second, I...I really need to go to the washroom, like real quick.” 

“Sorry, but aren’t you exactly in a washroom?” questions the man outside the door. 

“I...I dropped my phone in the toilet _,_ if I pee or poop in it, my phone will be done,” Doyoung yelps as his voice starts to shake, “god, why am I elaborating this.” 

“ _Ohhhh_ , I see,” answers the man as he leans on the other side of the cubicle door, “sorry if the transition is awkward, but do you come from Busan? I can hear it from your accent.” 

“IS IT THE TIME FOR THIS?” Doyoung bristles in utter agitation before he realises he should not react so vehemently, as the pain suddenly sharpens, “yeah, I was born in Guri but I moved to Busan. Oh god, no, don’t talk to me for now, _please_.” 

Doyoung secretly wishes the stranger would stand further from the cubicle door. An awkward silence then transpires the mildly foul-smelling atmosphere for a few seconds, before another man rushes in with what seems to be a key in his hand. 

“Oh hey, the staff is here, stand back,” warns the man upon seeing the staff. 

As soon as Doyoung takes a step back, the staff unlocks the door with a breeze. Doyoung can only violently nod his head with furrowed eyebrows as a way to show his gratitude. He immediately clumps over to the next cubicle in order to emancipate himself from the unbearable pain, having no energy to spare a thought about how his phone is still left in the toilet next door. 

\- 

Another 15 minutes have passed. 

Even if one tortures Doyoung, he will deny he has flushed the toilet more than three times before he feels it is clean. With a sigh, he opens the door and steps into the next cubicle in order to “retrieve” his mobile in the toilet bowl. 

But it is not there. 

Perplexed, he quickly walks towards the washroom entrance, trying to find any of the staff in the cafe and ask if someone has picked it up. 

What stands in front of Doyoung when he opens the entrance door, however, is the man who first contacted him when he was stuck in the cubicle, holding a transparent plastic bag in his hand that contains what seems to be Doyoung’s phone. 

Without saying anything, he hands the phone together with the plastic bag to Doyoung. 

“Thanks,” Doyoung says with a bright smile. If he ever has to choose, he may rather touch corrosive acid instead of toilet water. 

“Don’t mention it,” replies the man, as he gestures Doyoung to walk along with him back to the cafe. 

After a few more steps, however, Doyoung can see from afar that something is wrong. Jungwoo’s seat is empty. 

“ _Wait_ ,” utters Doyoung, skidding to a stop as he turns his face to the man, “my friend is not here.” 

Doyoung then quickly sprints towards the female staff closest to him while the man follows. He asks, pointing at Jungwoo’s table, “excuse me, have you seen the boy with blonde hair sitting there?” 

“Oh, another guy, his boyfriend maybe, carried him in his arms and they left together. Everyone here can be a witness. Such a sweet scene.” 

“What? No! They just met!” Doyoung gasps. 

A pause of silence ensues from all parties before Doyoung realises there is yet also another problem. 

“FUCK!” yells Doyoung, smacking a palm into his forehead. 

“Something else happened?” asks the man, confused by the strong but delayed reaction from Doyoung. 

“I gave my bag to my friend before I went to the washroom. My wallet, my keys, my T-money card, literally _everything_ I have," grunts Doyoung with waving arms, "is with him now. _Oh fuck._ ” 

“Calm down, don’t panic,” soothes the man, “do you need my phone to call him? I guess yours is not working now.”

* * *

Doyoung is calling the 10th time but Jungwoo is not picking up his phone. 

He is slightly worried about his safety as a friend, but following what the staff (and other customers) told him, he thinks he can safely assume that Jungwoo is just too soaked up in having his time-of-his-life with his blind date, or newfound love, or new boyfriend. 

“Still can’t reach him?” 

Doyoung shakes his head. He is now on the front passenger seat next to the man, who offers him a drive back home after seeing how he has no money at all. 

With all the fuss happened back in the cafe, Doyoung did not even bother to take anything more than a glance of the man. Now with the profile of the man’s face in front of him — he realises it is the kind of face he sees on billboards, facial features opulent but delicate, not to mention how helpful he is. 

“Anyway, thank you so much,” expresses Doyoung with genuine gratefulness, “you saved me twice in a day.” 

“Nah, it’s fine,” replies the man casually, “we’ll be reaching Cheongdam-dong in 5 minutes, but if your keys still in your friend’s, do you have a spare one when you get home?” 

“Oh, _right_ ,” Doyoung exclaims, “umm...can you drive me to the _Natural Republic_ near Gangnam station then? My flatmate and I work there, he will have one.” 

“The flagship one? Sure, we are even closer from there,” responds the man, who switches lanes right after, “by the way, what’s your name actually?” 

“Oh, Kim Doyoung. Just call me Doyoung will be fine, you?” 

“Johnny, or Seo Youngho if you prefer, but most people just go by Johnny,” answers the man enthusiastically, “by the way, I should apologise though, for asking whether you come from Busan when you are clearly suffering.” 

“Well, truly, you were _horrible_ at that moment,” Doyoung sasses, to which Johnny responds with a wheeze, “while my heart has fully forgiven you for how much you have helped me, my mouth will insist I haven’t so, if you don’t answer me one thing.” 

“What is it?” asks Johnny with curiosity. 

“I just need a place to repair my phone, any recommendations?” 

“Oh, _phew_ , I thought you are asking me for something hefty,” replies Johnny, “actually, I work at Samsung, you know, your phone's brand. So the easiest way, if you don’t mind, is to give me your phone and I’ll send it to repairs. The line for staff is much faster and it’s cheaper.” 

Seeing how his phone was completely drenched in water and there seems to be nothing to lose anyway, Doyoung immediately agrees, “yeah, I’m counting on you then.” 

“Great, and here we are,” Johnny’s car gradually comes to a stop after a turn as they arrive at their destination, “oh, take out your Sim card before you give me your phone.” 

Doyoung nods his head and stares at the phone in the plastic bag on his thighs, realising that he _really_ would rather touch corrosive acid instead of toilet water. Yet he now has to touch the latter if he is to do what Johnny has just said. 

“Umm...so,” Doyoung starts hesitantly, “were you the one who reached the toilet to get the phone _with your own hands_?” 

“Yeah, why?” Johnny confirms, as he turns his head and stares at Doyoung. 

“So,” replies Doyoung, holding the two handles of the plastic bag with each hand, facing Johnny, “if I ask you touch it again now, it won’t make a big difference..., I guess?” 

Johnny responds with a smile, understanding that Doyoung wants him to take the Sim card out for him. 

“Thanks,” answers Doyoung as he hands the plastic bag to Johnny, “I’m kind of a hygiene freak, using the public washroom is the most I can do.” 

“Nah, don’t worry,” Johnny swiftly removes the Sim card and hands it back to Doyoung, “here you go.”

-

Life gets slightly harder for Doyoung who has no phone for two days. 

His work, all of a sudden, does not seem to be inherently boring when the alternative is to stay at home doing absolutely nothing. 

He is now skiving off from work in the storeroom at his store, swatching new lip tint colours to be released next week on his forearm to kill time. 

“Manager-nim,” Jeno knocks the door and comes in with a brighter-than-usual smile, “one of the customers wants to see you.”

“Just give her or him the customer complaint hotline, or pacify them with some large-sized samples, or both perhaps?” replies Doyoung dully without looking at Jeno, staring instead at the orange lip tint on his forearm that he finds disgusting. 

“ _Manager-nim~_ ,” it is Ten’s turn who suddenly comes in with a wry smirk, “someone wants to see you.” 

Doyoung is alarmed by how Ten satirically addresses him as “ _manager-nim_ ”. Something is definitely out of the ordinary. He strolls towards the storefront to see who that customer is. 

It is Johnny.

“Hi,” greets Johnny, “remember me?” 

“Of course,” replies Doyoung with a wheeze, wilfully ignoring Ten who is lurching behind Johnny’s back, staring with Doyoung with the same wry smrik again, “you just pass by? Or?” 

“Not really,” answers Johnny, handing Doyoung his phone at the same time, “your phone was ready to be picked up this morning, but then I realise I don't have your contacts at all and the only thing I know is you work here, so I just crash here to see by chance if it is your shift.” 

“Oh god, thank you, how much do I owe you?” asks Doyoung, feeling mildly sorry for constantly receiving help from Johnny in occasions more than he remembers. 

“Don’t worry, forget it,” Johnny smiles with a wave of his hand. 

“No, I have to repay you. Name one way,” insists Doyoung, assuring the necessity to return Johnny’s benevolence. 

As soon as Johnny tilts his head to think about the choices he has and turns silent, Doyoung notices that Ten, who was originally behind Johnny, starts walking towards his direction, seemingly heading to the storeroom behind. 

Right when Ten walks pass Doyoung, however, without turning his face to his friend or slowing down, he blurts out with a nonchalant tone:-

“ _Repay with your pants off~_ ” 

Doyoung immediately turns his head around to give his classic death stare to Ten, who is now giggling by the storeroom entrance. To his complete disbelief, he also sees Jeno and Renjun next to Ten, joining the mocking snigger. 

“FUCK~OFF~,” mouths Doyoung to Ten with widened eyes. The three then joyously storms into the storeroom with audible giggles. 

Doyoung takes a mental note that he will not schedule the three in the same shift anymore if he is not present, or the two pure souls will only be further contaminated. He then turns his head back to face Johnny again, who is darting his eyes to the right and fidgeting, acting as if he could not hear what Ten has uttered. 

“Um...” Doyoung tries to break the silence while he flips his hair, “how about I buy you a meal or a dinner or some food?” 

“Sounds good,” Johnny nods his head, “what about tomorrow?” 

“Yeah,” agrees Doyoung, “my shift ends at 7.” 

“Great! I work nearby actually, so I’ll pick you up here at 7:15?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“See you then!” Johnny waves goodbye before he turns around and gets in his car parked right outside the store. 

Immediately after Johnny is gone, Ten, Jeno and Renjun rushes to Doyoung with smug smiles. 

“So he is the toilet guy you talked about last night?” asks Ten with waggling eyebrows.

“ _Repay with my pants off_? Fuck you Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul! At least say it after he left!”

“Don’t you want to?” Ten teasingly asks.

“Want your ass!” 

“Not mine, please. He wants _your_ ass. I can feel it, vice versa,” retorts Ten, to which Jeno and Renjun nods. 

“Assistant manager-nim always says that Manager-nim once had a higher turnover rate than some of our products here. Now I finally understand what does he mean,” follows Renjun. 

Doyoung gives yet another death stare to Ten, who is now laughing uncontrollably. 

“Oh, _come on_ , Doyoung darling. I am happy for you,” Ten taps Doyoung’s shoulder, recovering from his laughter, “but you do have good eyes, now I won't believe that you don’t care about looks, and he has a stable job and a Maserati. Jackpot right here!” 

“ _Bitch please._ We are just having a dinner as _friends_ , we don't even know if he is gay,” Doyoung weakly defends, “if someone picks up your phone from a public washroom, will you at least do something to repay him? I can introduce him to you if you think he looks good.” 

“No, keep him, you need something to moisturise your drying soul inside you.” 

"Well you also definitely need something to exorcise the evil spirit inside you.” 


	9. Crossroads

It is approaching the end of Doyoung’s shift, and he is getting ready in the storeroom for the dinner date with Johnny.

“What are you guys gonna have for the night?” Ten asks Doyoung curiously, sitting next to him, apparently skiving off from work

“I don’t know, we texted this morning, I was like I am fine with everything as long as it tastes good, then he’s like he’ll think about it,” Doyoung replies casually as he puts on his beige sweater. 

“Well, he himself is good food for your appetite anyway,” Ten jeers with a smirk, playing with the make-up brushes nearby (and Doyoung gives him the classic death stare), “By the way, that’s not the best look you have pulled off recently, where is your killer choker? How come you are not saving that for today?” 

“Meh..., he probably won’t mind how I look anyway. We met in a washroom when I was in my absolute worst, remember?” answers Doyoung casually, styling his hair with a mirror, “and, as I have said, he could be straight.” 

“Then he’s an offensively helpful and caring straight guy who sends wrong signals to all four gaydars here in this store, yours included,” asserts Ten, pointing his finger at Doyoung. 

“Sorry, no, I think he can be straight,” Doyoung coldly rejects. 

“Yeah, bitch, I trust you,” Ten ridicules indignantly, walking towards the storeroom exit to take a peek of the storefront, “oh, speaking of the devil, your _straight friend_ is here, have fun.”

* * *

Johnny’s place looks exactly like how Doyoung pictured, horrendously tidy and minimalistic. 

“This is nice,” Doyoung comments mindfully, as he actually finds it slightly disconcerting to see someone’s apartment almost showroom-like, not to mention he is unsure of why he is brought here for their dinner. 

“Nah, it’s a service apartment rented by my company for me, I don’t do all the cleaning, ain’t nobody got time for that, haha,” replies Johnny as he closes the front door. 

“I see,” Doyoung responds, feeling somewhat relieved to see Johnny show a relatable side. 

“Anything you want to drink? _Sauvignon Blanc_? Or you want something less dry? _Riesling_?” asks Johnny, heading to the kitchen.

“Yes,” replies Doyoung obscurely as he sits by the dining table, having no idea what Johnny was talking about as a person who rarely drinks. 

“You probably wonder why you are here, well, you said you are fine with anything that tastes good, so I wrecked my brain to come up with a good place in Seoul,” says Johnny, stripping off his shirt for work to his sleeveless undershirt before putting on his apron, “but then I was like, who will be a better cook than someone who lives alone for so many years ever since college?” 

Doyoung wants to protest against Johnny’s rhetorical question by telling him that instant ramen is the only food he has learnt to cook for all the years in college (and also how he is supposed to pay for the meal). Before he can, however, Johnny turns his head to face Doyoung and interjects, “just to make sure, any food allergies?” 

Doyoung shakes his head.

“Great, let me see...” replies Johnny, submerging his head into the refrigerator afterwards.

-

Doyoung cannot lie, Johnny is dangerously hot when he is focused.

He never knew someone could exude such confidence and grace simply by flipping pasta in a saucepan. Of course, Johnny being sleeveless definitely adds weight to how aesthetically pleasing the scene is. He blames the alcohol for how his stares on Johnny's arms become more and more daring for the whole time. 

“It smells very nice,” Doyoung utters after taking a large gulp from his glass, feeling his mouth watering from the aroma of chilli pepper and garlic that gradually saturates the air. 

“I like good food. Well, even though on second thought, who doesn’t? and I like to reward myself with it after a day of hard work. It's just most of the time shops are closed when I can finally leave my office, so I get to develop and polish my cooking skills from college,” answers Johnny as he moves the pasta onto a plate, “anyway, you ready?” 

Doyoung nods and sits up straight upon hearing the question while Johnny carries the two plates onto the dining table, also handing Doyoung a fork. 

“This is super good,” says Doyoung with joy after he takes a big bite, paying absolutely no attention Johnny’s intense stares, “what kind of sauce is this?” 

“Japanese cod roe sauce, or mentaiko sauce, depends on how you want to name it. It’s been a long time since I cooked anything with this, cause it comes as packets with a portion for 2 people each, and it’s been _ages_ since there are any guests here,” replies Johnny, remaining his gaze on Doyoung with no intention to pick up his fork for his dinner, “Glad you find it super tasty, I always eat alone, you know, which sets a cap on how delicious the food tastes.” 

Doyoung nods his head eagerly, acting as if he is paying attention to Johnny’s words when all his sensory cells are in fact overwhelmed by the delectable pasta in his mouth. 

Seeing how Doyoung is immersed in finishing the food, Johnny picks up his fork with a smile and starts eating. 

“Hey, mind if I ask you a question?” starts Doyoung in between the bites, “I hope this won’t affect your appetite, haha, but um… why did you pick up the phone for me back then?” 

“Well, I simply don’t want you to,” answers Johnny after a moment of pause, pushing the pasta around on his plate, “I guess it has to do with how you aren’t a Seoul native, and I can relate perfectly with how tiring it is to deal with everything by yourself in a foreign city. You know, starting everything afresh, anchoring yourself in this cosmopolitan, yadi-yadi-yada. I just hope I can at least offer help in some occasions.” 

“You offered great help, trust me,” Doyoung assures. 

“Well, I probably can’t help much in other more important aspects, but I am pleased to hear that I am at least of assistance in trivial matters, you know, no one should do everything by himself," replies Johnny as he scoops a few strands between the tines of the fork, "we are societal animals, after all." 

“You are super nice,” answers Doyoung while he tries to swallow the last bite of the pasta in his mouth, “thank you.” 

“That’s weird, I rarely get compliments like this,” Johnny mutters as he pivots his body closer to Doyoung. 

“ _Bitc_..., I mean, no way,” Doyoung shoots back instantly before taking another large gulp of wine. 

“Yeah, it’s the first time someone told me this ever since I started working...I guess? Wow, it’s been 3 years,” Johnny contemplates, tilting his head to stare at the ceiling.

Doyoung wants to respond, but he can tell Johnny has not finished his sentence.

“I guess it’s because I’m only nice to people that I like,” Johnny continues, fixating his gaze at Doyoung.

* * *

“I am disappointed, it’s just, what, 11:30?” asks Ten immediately after Doyoung steps into their home. 

“Gees, can you turn on the lights if you are here?” Doyoung retorts, pushing the switch. 

What Doyoung then sees is Ten lying on the sofa with a facial mask and cucumbers on each of his eyes, together with two more people lying on the floor, similarly with facial masks and cucumbers. 

“What are you two doing here?” asks Doyoung, pointing at Jaemin and Renjun on the floor. 

“Assistant Manager-nim invited us here for a sleepover because he thought, and we thought too, that you wouldn’t be back tonight, so we can spend the night here talking about work and our love life,” replies Jaemin as he continues to lie on the floor. 

“Whatever,” Doyoung pouts, walking back to his room, “as long as you guys don’t bitch about me when you guys bitch about work.” 

“How did your date go, darling?” asks Ten, sitting up from the sofa after taking his facial masks and cucumbers off from his face, “did you get to eat something else other than dinner?” 

“I suppose you mean dessert, and I won’t accept other answers, and the answer is no,” Doyoung drawls passively as he trots to the kitchen for water. 

“So nothing happened?” asks Ten again across the room. 

“Well, he walked me home, and...uh....we kinda hold hands?” Doyoung mentally praises himself for being sober enough to withhold information.

“What do you mean by _kinda hold hand_ s, you guys either did hold hands, or you didn’t, unless you are telling me that you two did a pinky swear,” Ten remarks as he runs his hands through his hair in irritation. 

“ _FINE_ , we hold hands when he walked me back, okay? And we goodbye-kissed, and I also considered inviting him here for a nightcap but then I was like, _no, Ten the nosy bitch can be here_ ,” Doyoung bursts out suddenly, realising that Ten will not stop asking if juicy details are not given, “I don’t fucking know. He is cute, and hot. That's given. And he is mature and staid for his age too, but that makes him seem kinda...boring at times? Like you know, he’s a stereotypical salaryman, graduated from Seoul University, recruited by Samsung straight out of college, and started working ever since.” 

“Are you implying that our existence indirectly cock-blocks you?” asks Ten, completely ignoring the second half of Doyoung’s blabber. 

“Tsk. That’s not the whole point of what i just said, and, no, I don’t fuck on first dates, because I don’t fall in love with my dick. I fall in love with my heart and my mind,” grunts Doyoung, finishing his cup of water. 

“Don’t be mad, Manager-nim, we just care about you, Assistant Manager-nim cares about you the most,” soothes Jaemin as he sits up, letting the cucumbers from his eyes fall off. 

“If you guys do care about me, let me sleep, okay? Enjoy your sleepover but bitch about your work and boyfriends with a softer voice. I'm too old for sleepover, at least my soul is, and I got another date tomorrow morning.” 

“What?” all the other three gasps at the same time. 

“A date with another _friend_ ,” Doyoung responds as he rolls his eyes, walking back to his room, “Contrary to popular beliefs, I am NOT friendless, Good night.”

* * *

“I can’t see you,” says Doyoung through the phone, “I am right inside the restaurant.” 

“I’m sitting near the corner furthest from the front door, next to the washroom. I’m waving at you.” 

“What? Where?” Doyoung cranes his neck and repeatedly turns his head left and right. 

It took Doyoung a few more seconds to locate the one on the other side of the phone, who is waving tentatively with his fingers. 

“Oh, _bitch please_ , you call this waving?” hisses Doyoung, “how can someone spot you without your pink hair?” 

It is Jaehyun, who is wearing a black baseball cap with his thick-rimmed glasses on. 

“You are the one who is kidding. Out of all places for brunch, you chose the one in Oido?” Jaehyun blusters as he squirms in his chair, turning his head around to take a scan of the customers nearby on other tables, "what’s so fancy about it?" 

“It’s very famous for its avocado toast,” Doyoung answers calmly. 

Jaehyun only hums in response as he slumps in his chair with a noticeable exhale, blankly staring at the menu. 

The two sit in silence for a moment. Doyoung knows he is going to order avocado toast anyway, even though he also focused on the menu. In his mind, yet, he is piecing the puzzles together from Jaehyun’s obvious unease and his deliberate act of hiding his pink hair. 

And the conclusion reached by Doyoung weirdly makes his heart leap with joy. 

“Taeyong lives nearby,” asserts Doyoung out of the blue. 

Jaehyun lifts his head and narrows his eyes from the menu to Doyoung, whose face crinkles into a smug smile. 

“Does he?” Doyoung assuringly asks, holding the same smile. 

Refusing to feed Doyoung triumph, Jaehyun ignores Doyoung’s question and takes out his phone to reply his texts, “I’m ready, can we order?” 

“What now, checking in with Taeyong?” taunts Doyoung as his eyes shoots at Jaehyun’s phone, eyebrows twitching victoriously. 

“Tsk. Can we order now?” Jaehyun rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” Doyoung cannot help but leak a beam from ear to ear as he raises his hand for a waiter.

-

“Your hair is getting even longer,” Jaehyun informs Doyoung benignly after taking a messy bite of the avocado toast, ignoring how, to Doyoung’s dismay, bread crumbs fall all over the table. 

“I was about to ask you not to eat your toast before I get to take an Instagrammable photo, but too late. Yeah, I was supposed to get a haircut yesterday night, but then, um...,” Doyoung leans back slightly to get his phone from his skinny jeans, buying himself some time to come up with an excuse, “something just came up from work, so maybe later.” 

“Is that your new phone?” asks Jaehyun, surprised to see Doyoung’s phone look completely unscratched. 

“Nah, it was broken and I sent it to Samsung. They revamped the whole thing, and I guess they still retained the parts inside that are still usable? I don’t know,” replies Doyoung as he holds his phone directly above his avocado toast in order to get a flat-lay photo, “most of my older photos and videos are gone. Not exactly a bad thing though, you know, it frees some space for other more useless photos like the one I’m taking. ” 

“What? How long has that been?” asks Jaehyun as he puts down his toast on the plate, staring at Doyoung. 

“A few days?” answers Doyoung, finally taking the first bite of the toast. 

“Do you know they have full access to all your files when you sent your phone to repairs?” Jaehyun asks stiffly. 

“Yeah, then?” 

Jaehyun does not respond instantly. Instead, He leers at Doyoung as he tucks his chin, almost touching his chest.

“Then is _it_ deleted before you sent your phone to Samsung,” he growls lowly with his leer staying on Doyoung’s eyes. 

“Delete...what?” replies Doyoung as his eye contact with Jaehyun becomes shifty, deliberately making crunching sounds with the toast in his mouth to hide his laugh,. 

“Have you deleted _our video?_ ” questions Jaehyun as he lifts his head up and also stifles a laugh, “quit your act, gees, you know what I am talking about.” 

“What video?” Doyoung pouts his lips, putting his hands over his chest and shaking his head dramatically in order to act innocent, “I don’t get what you mean.” 

“You know what I mean, is _it_ deleted?” Jaehyun slowly drawls out with a nervous laughter as he leans forward and tilts his head with his eyebrow raised. 

“Yes, it is,” answers Doyoung before he rests his chin on his hand with a bemused smile, “the fact is, it has never been in this phone but in my old one, and I have switched phones for like, 4 months? You dumbass.” 

“Where is your old phone then?” Jaehyun instantaneously follows-up. 

“I _deleted_ the video, okay? And I erased all contents and settings before selling that phone just to reconfirm it’s gone," assuages Doyoung before he takes a big bite of the toast with a smile, "I don't want it to leak either, I was in it too, so don’t worry." 

Jaehyun lets out a huge breath and picks up his avocado toast again before Doyoung continues, “I have to be honest though, I forgot if I deleted _it_ before or after I migrate all my files from my old phone to my laptop, so I may have accidentally backed it up.” 

“Tsk, Kim Doyoung,” Jaehyun snarls mildly as he dumps his toast heavily on his plate, eyebrows furrowed, “that night you _promised_ you will delete it once I’m back from my Jeju business trip. You told me you want to film it just for the week I was not in Busan.” 

“I did delete it! It’s just I forgot if I have backed it up in my laptop.”

“Where is your laptop,” Jaehyun asks coldly.

“Home, duh.”

“I don’t care. I have to make sure no single copy exists.” 

“How?”

\- 

Turns out, the video was deleted before Doyoung backed up his files. 

Yet, this means Jaehyun and Doyoung have sat in front of the laptop, scrolling through all photos and other videos they have taken for their 2 years together, an emotionally draining journey for both of them, to say the least. 

“Well, there is a positive side about this,” Jaehyun utters lifelessly as he lounges on the sofa while Doyoung stands up to get some water from the kitchen. 

“And it is...?” Doyoung asks groggily.

“The clip is nowhere to be found anymore.” 

“Wow, thank you so much for your vigilance that no one demands,” replies Doyoung sarcastically as he returns to the sofa, almost sinking into it, “I told you I have deleted it.” 

Jaehyun is well aware that his thighs touch with Doyoung’s in the middle seat after the latter returns, something that neither of them do not seem to care. 

The two of them sit there for a while in a surprisingly comfortable silence, until Jaehyun suddenly thinks it is the appropriate time to be honest in such a laid-back atmosphere. 

“You know,” Jaehyun starts, letting his head fall back onto the cushion behind him, “I kinda doubt if you really didn't cut your hair yesterday night because of work. That’s an easy excuse that... uh...everyone can made.” 

“What are you talking about? I am the Store Manager now, which means I’m busy as fuck,” Doyoung weakly defends as he stands up again for another cup of water. 

“Fine, let me cut to the chase then,” says Jaehyun defeatedly, “are you... are you seeing someone?” 

“What about you then?” retorts Doyoung before he quickly realises this is such a useless clapback. His ex-boyfriend is clearly seeing someone, even though he is here with him in the apartment for an absolutely nonsensical reason. 

“I’m the one asking.” 

Doyoung did not respond right after. He jogs to the sofa and sinks into it a second time (once again ignoring how his thighs touch with Jaehyun’s), fixating his gaze at Jaehyun with tightened lips.

“Yes, I am.” 

Jaehyun immediately lifts his head up from the cushion and darts his eyes to one side, and then, only after a significantly delay, he asks “who...who is he?” 

“A guy?” answers Doyoung nonchalantly. 

“Tsk, come on...” Jaehyun slowly drawls out. 

Doyoung retracts his legs from the middle seat and sits up straight, “well, he’s just a guy who works in Gangnam like you, perhaps you will bump into us one day when I am having lunch with him,” he snorts. 

Jaehyun chooses not to ask further, even though he wishes Doyoung would be less reluctant to answer his questions. Seeing how Doyoung’s posture changes, he also retracts his legs, with a cushion between his arms. 

There goes another comfortable silence between them, one that even Doyoung is stunned by how pleasant it is for him — the familiar peace after friendly teases and sarcastic remarks between them, the carefree atmosphere in which he could relax, the way they used to laze on the sofa. 

This was exactly the pleasingly mundane way they usually spent their weekends.

Before he can fully indulge himself in the recollections, however, he hears Jaehyun drop a bomb, “why...why did you leave me back then.” 

Even though Jaehyun’s question sounds more like a yearn than an inquiry, Doyoung does not recognise it _long after_ he answers with a pinched expression, “I beg your pardon? Do you seriously need to ask?” 

Jaehyun agilely sits up straight and moves to the middle seat, “Look, I really had to work that day. I wasn't the boss and I can’t re-schedule, but I didn’t want to miss the beach party with your friends, you know?” 

“That’s just the tipping point. A lot of things happened,” replies Doyoung as he turns his head to face the front and loses his eye contact with Jaehyun. 

“Like what.” 

“You forgot my mom’s birthday,” utters Doyoung calmly. 

“That really was because I was too immersed into my job, and I sincerely apologise. You can ask your mum, I bought her a present afterwards to make up for that,” explains Jaehyun as he faces Doyoung, who continues to avoid any eye contact. 

“You planned to come to Seoul without me.” 

“Oh, come on,” Jaehyun defends as he pouts his mouth, trying to act cute, “we were almost devoid of any communication during that time, I think you will agree that we would have talked about it if the beach party had not taken place.” 

“You once told me you had a presentation the following day for an important client, so you had to stay at office and work late, but Jungwoo saw you drinking with another man that night.” 

“ _WHAT_?” Jaehyun’s eyebrows lift up immediately after hearing a brand new accusation from Doyoung. 

“ _Bitch please_ , stop pretending, we are no longer together anyway, and your acting is even shittier than mine," Doyoung finally turns his head to Jaehyun and permits a contemptuous smile, “the fun thing is, I also don’t remember this until you told me how everyone uses their work as a convenient excuse.” 

Jaehyun can only gape dumbly to Doyoung with his mouth open while the latter continues, “Jungwoo even took a picture.” 

“What guy?” Jaehyun asks softly. 

“Your ex, Xiaojun,” answers Doyoung with an eerily peaceful tone. 

Jaehyun blinks quickly, trying to recall which day was Doyoung referring to. Xiaojun was Jaehyun's first high school puppy love, where they went no further than holding hands once during their time together. He can only find Doyoung's wariness almost comically disproportionate, but also oddly endearing. 

“Remember now, huh?” 

"I didn’t tell you only because I know all explanations will do no good but piss you off,” Jaehyun explains, "nothing happened." 

“You could have told me if you had got nothing to hide,” retorts Doyoung instantly. 

“He just wanted to find an old friend to chat after studying abroad for college. _Nothing happened._ I am sure your photo, if it still exists by now, captured nothing intimate between us, because we really were just chatting,” Jaehyun defends sternly. 

“Well, be that as it may, but do you remember Jungwoo? You are the one who insisted honesty is so important for his case, not me, now look at you. If there’s nothing between you and Xiaojun, why did you dread so much to tell me that you were meeting him?” Doyoung strikes back with his talking speed escalating to almost machine-gun-like, “Because even if nothing really happened that night, and I do believe that’s the case, you obviously expected something will. Or else why didn't you tell me about it? You are just keeping your options open.”

“You are just over-analysing, as always,” Jaehyun softly utters as he turns away from Doyoung, knowing it is useless to argue with him in his mega-over-analysing form, even though he still finds Doyoung bizarrely lovely when he overthinks everything. 

Simiarly, Doyoung sits up straight again with his arms crossed after the long speech, also turning his head away from Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun absolutely hates how pleasant the silence feels despite the swordplay-esque verbal exchanges they just had, with their legs less than 3 feet away after. 

Worse still, he can tell that Doyoung is also fully at ease with their lack of any communication by the grin on his face despite the chat where they disagreed with each other. 

Yet another uncannily congenial silence between them, until Doyoung feels a warmth trickling down from his left nostril. Confused, he touches it without much thinking, and he finds his fingertip to be covered with red stains. 

“Fuck.”

His nose is bleeding. 

Alerted, Jaehyun immediately reaches the box of tissue paper on the coffee table and hands it to Doyoung, “god, how did that happen?” 

“It happens so often for me in Seoul, it’s so dry here,” mumbles Doyoung as he tucks the tissue paper into his nostril. 

“Must be my fault, I’m too hot,” replies Jaehyun, holding the tissue paper for Doyoung near his nose while the latter reaches for more from the box. 

“Fuck off already, it just means you watched too much anime,” Doyoung scowls as he holds the tissue paper near his nose again. 

“Give me your other hand,” Jaehyun requests, even though he is holding Doyoung’s free hand already when he says so. 

“For what?” 

“Count for a minute,” Jaehyun informs, pinching the gap between Doyoung’s thumb and his index finger. 

“How, by heart?” 

“Of course.” 

A few seconds of silence follows. While Doyoung can only blankly stare at the wall in front of him when he is counting mentally, Jaehyun cannot stop himself from peeping at Doyoung’s face, finding him adorable with tissue papers tucked into one of his nostrils. 

Another surge of nostalgic sentiments rushes into Jaehyun’s brain, one that Jaehyun blames how their hands are touching. He licks his lips before he hastily mumbles, “imisya.” 

Doyoung slowly turns his head to face Jaehyun, “what?” 

“imissyou,” Jaehyun quickly mutters again, licking his lips one more time. 

“WHAT?” 

“I. MISS. YOU,” yells Jaehyun. 

Doyoung cannot help but loosens into a big, exhilarated snort, one that pushes out the tissue papers from his nostril. His smile also flickers into one that is brighter than ever. 

“Shut up already, you dumbass,” replies Doyoung while he is trying his best to control his wide smile. 

“Why am I a dumbass just for missing you?” 

Doyoung ignores him and closes his eyes, completely forgetting to count for a minute as he devotes all his energy to tighten his lips from forming a beam. 

“See, it stopped,” notifies Jaehyun, releasing his pinch from Doyoung’s hand to lounge on the sofa again, holding a cushion between his arms. 

“This is witchcraft!” exclaims Doyoung, as he dabs the area near his nostrils to confirm it, “how come? Is this traditional acupuncture? Did you watch Dae Jang Geum religiously when you were young?” 

Jaehyun closes his eyes and pays no attention to Doyoung’s shrieks, hiding himself behind the cushion in order to recover from the sudden burst of courage just then. 

“Thank...thank you so much,” Doyoung acknowledges, as he take a glimpse of the clock on the coffee table, “gosh, it's almost 4? I have to leave soon.” 

Understanding that Doyoung’s words imply he should also leave soon, Jaehyun stands up from the sofa and asks, “you’re meeting...the other guy?” 

Doyoung cannot respond promptly, for how Jaehyun describes Johnny as the _other_ guy _._ He chooses to ignore Jaehyun’s choice of words for the moment and replies after a short pause, “we are having dinner tonight at his home.” 

“I see, I’m glad we had a very heartfelt talk,” says Jaehyun as he puts on his shoes. 

“Yeah,” Doyoung answers, feeling slightly guilty of how, at times, he does not fully reciprocate Jaehyun’s sincerity, “but I think you are more glad to find out that the video is deleted.” 

Jaehyun sends off a smile, “we got so many more photos and videos that recorded our...time anyway.” 

“Yeah.” 

Jaehyun opens the front door and prepares to leave. Right after he takes a step, he turns his head, gazing at Doyoung intensely, and asks, “will you...also miss me?” 

Doyoung steps towards Jaehyun, whose face is far too close for his comfort. For a moment, it becomes exceedingly hard for both of them to move. Perhaps, it might even be easier for Doyoung to savour the feeling of Jaehyun’s breath puffs warm against his face. 

Doyoung hesitates, but only long enough to locate Jaehyun’s swollen lips. He slightly lifts his head and leans in, touching Jaehyun's lips with his, a feeling so terrifying, but absolutely wonderful. 

Instantly, he remembers he is going to see Johnny in an hour. He retracts himself and eyes at Jaehyun, who also seems to share the terrifying-but-wonderful feeling. 

“Bye,” utters Doyoung as he turns his head away, holding the door. “Bye.” 


	10. Officially

“As a wrap-up, the key to our meeting next week remains to be our attitude,” Johnny emphasises as he paces around the conference room with folding arms, “from a high-level perspective, we have the highest core competency among all our competitors, which obviously gives us leverage in terms of how the client views us.” 

Everyone in the room nods their head, except Doyoung, who is holding two boxes of takeaway in his hands, sitting at the corner. 

“If we remain sincere, I believe they will select us even without much drilling down, our offer should be impeccable,” Johnny says firmly as he presses both hands on the table, sweeping his eyes over the room, “good, there we have the last item of the agenda, is there anything else someone needs to say or ask before we conclude our briefing today?” 

A few head shakes are seen, while some sitting at back start to pack their belongings. “Great, I shall see you guys on Monday, then.”

－

Doyoung dares not stand up and walk towards Johnny until all other staff is gone. “Hey,” greet Doyoung with a bright smile, holding up the takeaway. 

“Oh hey! Argh, I’m just so, so sorry. I know I promised to cook for our dinner, but the client wants to push the meeting forward to next week, so we gotta having our briefing today,” Johnny explains with a smile as he packs his belongings, “I didn’t mean to have you sat in this semi-formal meeting, but I don’t want you to stand outside and wait, cause no one can tell when this meeting will end, glad it ends before my stomach is growling, _whoo._ ” 

“It’s alright, work should come first,” soothes Doyoung with a grin, “um...so we are gonna have our food here?” 

“Oh, no, come to my room, they are gonna turn off the lights here,” answers Johnny as he takes the two lunch boxes from Doyoung’s hands, gesturing Doyoung to follow him. 

“You got a room?” Doyoung asks, shocked to hear Johnny have a room in the headquarters of Samsung at such a young age, “that...that’s very impressive. I thought most of the staff only gets a cubicle desk.” 

“Well, you are not wrong, technically the room is not mine, but our team’s. I am the team leader of this project so I hold the key for now,” explains Johnny as he unlocks the door. 

The takeaway tastes absolutely disgusting. Doyoung would not even touch the pale-coloured pork cutlet with his chopsticks if the peas did not look even worse. They are soaked in a greasy sauce that congeals and sticks to the rice next to them. Considering how Johnny likes good food and cooks well, Doyoung is surprised to see him wolf down the takeaway as if it is as delicious as the pasta he cooked a few days ago. 

“Eek, I was about to say I probably should’ve chosen another shop,” Doyoung grunts with his tongue stuck out, “but I guess you don’t find this...super nasty?” 

“Trust me, it could’ve been worse,” Johnny addresses as he gobbles the pork, “at least it looks and tastes like food. Last time I had chicken curry from the same shop and their curry is fluorescent, looks more like a kind of potion from Harry Potter.” 

Doyoung snorts with laughter, “I thought you won’t even take a bite in both cases.”

“Because I’m a good cook?” Johnny hypothesises. 

Doyoung slowly nods his head with a smile as he pushes the peas around the container with his chopsticks. 

“Well, it’s not like I have a choice most of the time, you gotta fill your stomach wth something to survive when you are still at the office,” Johnny continues, “and, like what I have said before, having food alone always sets a cap on how good the food tastes anyway. It always tastes better if you share the food with someone, even better if it’s someone you are fond of.” 

Right after Doyoung nods his head again without looking at Johnny, he could feel the moist of Johnny’s lips on his cheeks. Startled, he turns his head and goggles at Johnny, unsure of what how he should respond. 

“The food tastes good no matter how because you are here with me,” Johnny declares. 

Half of Doyoung’s heart finds what Johnny just did very cute, while the other half wants to squeal at how corny his words are. Before Doyoung can form a reply in his head, however, he finds his mouth sealed tight by Johnny’s smooth lips. Doyoung’s eyes immediately widens following the contact, but he closes them soon after, wrapping his hands behind Johnny’s neck. He cannot help but notices the gross exchange of grease from their takeaway through their lips, and also how his nose brushes the side of Johnny’s face even though Johnny has tilted his head. All these sensations, nonetheless, are eventually dominated by how soft Johnny’s lips are on his. 

Doyoung leans back as Johnny starts to plant kisses down his neck. He lets himself bask in the soft pecks and pulls Johnny closer by gripping his waist. Johnny takes that as an affirmation, but he still chooses to draw back instead of proceeding further, noting this room, after all, is his workplace. 

“It’s getting late, let’s go back home,” Johnny says as he plants one last kiss on Doyoung’s neck. 

Doyoung can only nod his head as he still swims in a haze.

* * *

Feeling exhausted after a long day, Doyoung has fallen asleep for the first half of their drive back home. Even though he is now awake, he is still too tired to initiate an aimless conversation. Doyoung simply looks out from the window, disregarding how Johnny is humming to pop song as he steers the wheel. 

Something outside his window, however, catches Doyoung’s attention. Two people are standing by a parked car. One of them is vigorously rubbing the exterior of that car with wet cloths, while the other splashes buckets of water onto it. 

“What are they doing there?” asks Doyoung as he points at the two people outside the window 

“Car-washing,” answers Johnny casually. 

Doyoung continues to gaze at the two people, “that late? On a street?” 

“It’s cheaper to just wash it on the street by yourself than at a carwash,” explains Johnny, “I also used to wash my car by myself before I got promoted.” 

“No way,” objects Doyoung, turning his head to Johnny, “have you watched CSI?” 

“Huh?” 

“C-S-I, Crime Scene Investigation! They look very fishy. I’d say there’s a high chance that they have killed someone in the car,” Doyoung hypothesises, “and probably they are now destroying the evidence by washing the car, like getting rid of blood stains or DNA.” 

“What?” Johnny leaks a peal of laughter, interchanging his gaze between Doyoung and the front window, “No way...” 

“I’m so sure. When someone becomes suspicious of what they are doing, they’ll give out this high- sounding reason,” asserts Doyoung with enthusiasm, “ _we’re just washing our car_.” 

Johnny does not respond immediately, but he retains his smile, also seemingly holding his chuckle. After a pause, he finally responds, “well...we’re reaching your home, but if you want to come up to my place for a drink...” 

“I’d love to, but I’m just too tired, sorry,” Doyoung croaks, returning to his tired state. 

“Yeah, I could feel that since we met earlier tonight, what have you done today?” Johnny questions. 

“I...I just had a long day, yeah,” utters Doyoung, turning his head to the window of his side again, trying to suppress himself from remembering what happened this afternoon. 

Johnny’s car slowly comes to a stop as they arrive at Doyoung’s home. 

By that time, Doyoung has fallen asleep again. Johnny gets out of the car and opens the Doyoung’s side, leaning in to give him a peck on his cheek. 

“You are home,” Johnny announces. 

Doyoung blinks his eyes quickly and yawns. He stretches in his chair and lets a groan that sounds oddly delicious in Johnny’s ears, ignoring how his shirt has hitched up, which exposes a few inches of his waist. He does not step out of the car until a further delay, apologising to Johnny, “sorry, that probably was the ugliest yawn you’ve ever seen.” 

“It is,” teases Johnny, to which Doyoung responds by pouting his lips and leering at him. Johnny plants a kiss on his forehead, wrapping his arms around Doyoung’s waist, and remarks, “you are just too cute.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” jests Doyoung as he slightly lifts his head up to gaze at Johnny. 

“Mmm...I like you,” confesses Johnny, reciprocating Doyoung’s eye contact, “and I...I wish we can be more than dates. I know we haven’t met each other for long, less than a week to be exact. But I like your accompany, your smile, your humour, everything. If...if you share the same feeling, shall we...officially become boyfriends?” 

Doyoung looks away for a second before he slowly nods his head with a grin. 

Taking his body language as a yes, Johnny immediately embraces Doyoung within his arms, holding him up. 

“This is my best day,” Johnny states joyously as he holds Doyoung even tighter.  
“I’m glad to hear that.” utters Doyoung, who cannot bring himself to reply with “me too”. 

“Are you feeling ok though?” asks Johnny, stroking Doyoung’s hair with his hand, “you do look very tired.” 

“I am,” Doyoung soothes, “I just need some sleep.”

“Do you need me to walk you up to your apartment?” asks Johnny with noticeable concern. “Nah, Ten will be very annoying if he sees you and I will get even less sleep.”

Johnny chuckles before he plants another kiss on Doyoung’s forehead.

“Text me when you get home, then,” utters Johnny, “miss me, okay?”

Doyoung nods his head twice and enters the building without turning his head back. 

“Here you go, your fish cakes,” Yuta mumbles as he passes the box of takeaway to Jaehyun after he gets home. 

“Oh thanks,” Jaehyun acknowledges as he sits down by the dining table.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, why not.”

Yuta pulls out a chair by the dining table with a loud screech. “Have you ever thought of going back to Busan?” 

“Uh...No?” Jaehyun answers, “life is short. This is the time to work hard. Seoul is where we find most opportunities.” 

“I don’t mean that.” 

“Then what?” asks Jaehyun nonchalantly as he gobbles the fishcake. 

“I was just thinking. You dyed your hair pink just like when you were in Busan. You eat the same junk food where you used to eat the most in Busan. You even eat the same _ass_ where you used to eat in Busan,” elaborates Yuta as he leans in, “why don’t you go back?” 

Jaehyun instantly reckons what does Yuta mean, he pauses his movement for a while in order to give an answer. 

“You just become more and more attached to things that you are used to as time gone by,” Jaehyun answers somewhat vaguely, "pretty much like the roots of a plant." 

Yuta lets out a breath as he shakes his head. 

“Let’s not talk about it. Argh. I probably shouldn’t even have asked in the first place,” grumbles Yuta, “but, seriously, what’s happening?” 

“What.” 

“Just...why?” Yuta chides, strolling to his room, “I don’t get what you are doing, even though I won’t challenge you. Just like how you won't challenge why would Sicheng and I work. You are my best friend, and I fully trust your acumen. Let’s just stop it here.” 

“Can I ask you something back, then?”

“What.”

“How did you find out?” 

“You know, Taeyong texts you like crazy. Most of the time I don’t give a fuck when something pops up on your phone,” answers Yuta, “but then, one time when you were bathing, the speed of the notifications rolling in suddenly doubled, so I took a peek out of curiosity. Turns out both of them are texting you.” 

“Uh...yeah, Taeyong does text me more and more frequently,” answers Jaehyun, “by the way, I have to clarify, I...I...I don't know what’s between me and Doyoung yet. So I have to protest against the sentence where you say I’m _eating the same ass from Busan_. That never happened...in Seoul. We just shared a kiss, and I don’t even know if that’s rushed passion.” 

“Well, it’s normal to ask the question of _what are we_ , but that’s not what we should touch on today,” answers Yuta, “the crux of your problem now is, make up your mind. It’s fine who you want to be with. Just don’t leave the other one in the dark for too long once you have made the decision.” 

Jaehyun is silent. 

“And I do believe you have already made up your mind,” Yuta stresses. 

Jaehyun wants to respond, but Yuta quickly interjects, “ _arrrrgh_ , I am the one who said we should not talk about it. Fuck me. Let's move on. Oh, the hotel Sicheng and I stayed in Chuncheon last month is fancy as fuck. It’s right next to the train station. The food is excellent, and the room is so big that I feel like we can play hide-and-seek. The bathtub is almost swimming-pool like. Sicheng and I bathed together and tried different positions when we are in it. It’s super nice.” 

“That’s such a smooth transition of a convo,” quips Jaehyun, completely adapted to how the couple  habitually gives out too much information, “did you book the hotel in advance?”

“No. Why? Who do you want to go with,” Yuta remarks as he tilts his head.

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, because he was genuinely asking the question in a cursory manner.

“Well, in case the one who you do not go with suddenly calls me, I won't pick up the phone, or I’ll just tell him that you are in a team-building training camp with me. I’m such a good BFF,” Yuta smirks. 

“What?”

“Nothing, Good night,” mutters Yuta, closing his bedroom door. 


	11. To Be Honest

December. 

“I don’t understand,” Jaehyun utters lifelessly, “we should stay in bed on a Sunday. That’s what you lazy-ass usually insist, and we are here so early just to paddle this crap.” 

“Tsk, that’s why your soul is so uncultured, can you be less mean and allow yourself to be grateful of this majestic view?” retorts Doyoung, “The weather is perfect and it’s not crowded at all. I like it.” 

“I learn how to be mean from you, you are the master of meanness,” retorts Jaehyun. 

It is a cool and breezy Sunday morning. Pleasant gusts of wind intermittently blow against Jaehyun and Doyoung’s faces while they are on a paddle boat by the bank of Han River. Doyoung is the more enthusiastic one who turns his head left and right to appreciate the scenery. Jaehyun, on the other hand, lazes on the seat and paddles slothfully, recovering from the overtime work the night before for a big project. 

Doyoung manages to shut down the analytical part of his brain that demands knowing what is happening between them (and what will happen next). Little does he know that Jaehyun shares the same uncertainty, but the latter also chooses to savour the time of seeing each other instead of analysing further. 

“Ahhh...this reminds me of my free-spirited high school days,” Doyoung chortles, trying to propel the conversation, “my date really treasured privacy. We didn’t get to spend time in ordinary places like cafes, I was always brought to paddle boats.” 

“By whom,” Jaehyun questions.

“What, what by whom,” Doyoung gazes at Jaehyun with a smirk. 

“Who was the person that brought you to boat-paddling, huh?” Jaehyun challenges as he stifles a laugh, pointing a finger at Doyoung, “don’t tell me it’s that ridiculous idol lover boy.” 

“Why is that ridiculous,” sasses Doyoung, smacking Jaehyun’s finger, “you’re just jealous that I dated Jinyoung. I still find him the most handsome in GOT7.” 

“I _met_ him, last night, for the shooting of a new ad for Tom Ford,” Jaehyun drawls out, sitting up straight.

Doyoung can only gape at Jaehyun with your mouth open, "are you serious?”

“Yeah, _fuck my life_. I think I embarrassed myself,” grumbles Jaehyun. 

“Why?” asks Doyoung, scrunching his nose, “ _Oh my god_ , don’t tell me you outright asked him.”

* * *

“Good evening, Jinyoung-shi,” greets Jaehyun as he holds out his hands, “Jaehyun from the account servicing department.” 

“Hello,” replies Jinyoung with a beam, shaking Jaehyun’s hand firmly.

“The takeaway is here,” Jaehyun informs, placing the boxes of takeaway on the table, “enjoy.” 

“Are we in a hurry? If we are, I’ll ask the stylist to have my make-up done while I eat,” Jinyoung kindly offers. 

“Oh. Not really,” Jaehyun soothes, “the camera crew is still setting up everything, and the director is still finalising the studio lights arrangements with the representative from Tom Ford.” 

“I see, then I’ll have my dinner first.”

"Sure," Jaehyun beams, preparing to turn away. 

“Have you eaten yet?” asks Jinyoung behind Jaehyun, “I ordered extra. Kimchi friend rice, and some grilled beef rips. Interested?” 

-

“Is it good?” asks Jinyoung, “I always order from takeaway from here. I hope it’s not a disappointment.” 

“It’s delicious, thank you.” Jaehyun tries to answer politely despite the big chunk of rice in your mouth. 

The room is filled with silence soon after, one that Jaehyun knows it will turn awkward if it prolongs. 

“You know, I am very delighted to see you in person,” Jaehyun compliments, filling in the silence, “I am a fan of GOT7, not only because of your group’s refreshing vibes, but also how your group strikes to self-produce your songs.” 

“Really?” Jinyoung mutters before he puts a spoonful of rice in his mouth, “thank you.” 

“Yeah, composing is not easy, so that is very admirable,” Jaehyun blabbers, once again trying to swallow the rice. 

“Well, which is your favourite?” 

“I just like them all,” Jaehyun answers with a boisterous laughter, an attempt to cover his anxiety - the anxiety of being unsure of what songs do involve Jinyouyng's production. 

“I mean, which one _exactly_ do you like the most then?” Jinyoung turns his head to face Jaehyun with a bright smile. 

Jaehyun almost forgets to chew upon hearing the question. He stares at Jinyoung for a second, who wiggles his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. 

“My Youth, you know, your solo, it’s my favourite from you, yeah.” Jaehyun can only nervously sputter the only song he is sure that is produced by Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung nods after hearing Jaehyun’s answer, showing approval of his choice. “ _I remember, your eyes were like a universe. The infinite stars spilling made the river in my dreams....,_ ” he recites the lyrics as if it was a poem after taking a sip from his cup of water. 

Jaehyun does not know how to respond, he quietly stares at Jinyoung, who is pushing the food around the container with his chopsticks. 

“Sorry,” utters Jinyoung with a constrained smile after a while, “some songs do bring back memories. I get sentimental occasionally when I remember things of the past.” 

“It’s such a good song,” Jaehyun leaks a nervous laughter.

“Sometimes I still weep when I read the lyrics, haha. I wrote the lyrics long long time ago in order to commemorate something that happened up- close and personal to me around the time I debuted.” replies Jinyoung, continuing to push the rice around. 

Jaehyun knows it could well be just a case of confirmation bias, but he does notice how Jinyoung’s behaviour coincides with Doyoung’s ridiculous Jinyoung-is-my-first-love story. He wants to confirm the authenticity, but he does not know how. 

“Umm...something that happened in Seoul?” Jaehyun asks cautiously. 

“Well, depends on how you define it. It first happened in Busan, in a high school,” Jinyoung is surprisingly honest, “god, I probably has said too much. Just pretend you didn't hear it. Haha.” 

_(Fuck)_

“Umm...” Jaehyun mutters, trying to pause the conversation by getting busy with finishing the dinner. He reaches the bowl of grilled rips between the two,just as Jinyoung also extends his arm to the same bowl — and both of their chopsticks managed to land on the same piece of rib among all. 

Stunned, Jaehyun turns his head to look at Jinyoung and the eye contact between the two becomes oddly intense. He swears he can find a slight hint of competitiveness from Jinyoung’s eyes before he forces a smile at the latter and gestures him to have the piece. 

Jinyoung then returns the smile benevolently and places the piece of ribs in his own bowl. A few seconds of silence then ensues. 

“Jinyoung-shi,” a male staff from their back suddenly announces after he knocks the door, “the photographer wants to go through some stuff with you.” 

“Oh, thank you, please tell him I'm coming,” Jinyoung acknowledges as he stands up. He then turns to Jaehyun and divulges, “I...I’m sorry about that,” pointing at the bowl of ribs, “cause i think you get to the meat first.” 

“No, you get to meet him first,” Jaehyun responds flatly. 

“Huh?” 

“Er...um...I mean, the food tastes very nice, thank you,” Jaehyun brushes it off. 

“My pleasure, nice chat Jaehyun, see you again soon,” Jinyoung waves his hand before he leaves the room. 

* * *

“I TOLD YOU THE STORY IS REAL,” Doyoung exclaims, paddling faster in order to emancipate his feeling of triumph, “  ♫♫ _The infinite stars spilling made the river in my dreams. Across that river I see my young self smiling, I miss you. Even the flowing tears were beautiful during my youth. I miss you~ I’m still young~ Still so young~_...  ♫♫ ” 

“DON’T. RUB. IT. IN,” Jaehyun heckles before a laugh, lazing on the seat with no intention to paddle. 

“Well, remember you told me you will buy me dinner if there is damning evidence to confirm this story? What about tonight?” asks Doyoung with a smile. 

“Did I? Well, I’m free tonight anyway, sure.”

“What about the shop where Jinyoung orders takeaway then? Where is it?” suggests Doyoung. 

“It’s right opposite to my home, actually, I never know it tastes good cause it looks super tacky. Can I take a nap first before we meet again tonight though? The shoot ends at 3 a.m., gees.” pleads Jaehyun.

* * *

“Where are you?” asks Doyoung through the phone. 

“I was waiting for the elevator, but then I realise I forgot my phone,” explains Jaehyun, “when I got back I could hear the phone ringing.” 

“ _Bitch please_ , who are you trying to fool. That means you overslept, and you are still at home,” Doyoung chides, “I should’ve know this would happen. I am inside the restaurant already.” 

“Good good good, 5 minutes tops,” replies Jaehyun as he tucks his key into his pocket. “Thank god it’s close to your home. I’ll order when you arrive. I hate you.”

“OK, bye.” 

Jaehyun hurriedly jogs to the front door, opening it after putting on his shoes, only to see a familiar figure standing in front of him.

“Huh?” Jaehyun gasps, posture completely stiffened.

It is Taeyong. 

“Hey...,” Taeyong utters tenderly as he bounces towards Jaehyun, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. 

“A...Aren’t you supposed to be on your way to Tokyo?”

“I was," Taeyong smiles sweetly, rocking back and forth on his heels, "but something went wrong with the airport traffic control, so my flight got cancelled."

“I see,” Jaehyun clears his throat. 

“Your text said you are at home, so I decided to give you a surprise and keep you company,” says Taeyong as he tilts his head, brushing the corner of Jaehyun’s lips with his thumb. He then reaches his luggage that is still standing outside the front door.

“I’ll handle it,” Jaehyun offers from behind, “just go in.” 

“You are going out for food?” asks Taeyong as he strolls towards the living room. 

“Yeah, I...I was just about to grab something to eat,” explains Jaehyun after he licks his lips, closing the front door. 

“I also haven’t eaten yet, can we order pizza together?” suggests Taeyong, turning on the television.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun stands by the front door, completely unsure of what to do.

“I’ll call then,” Taeyong answers joyfully as he takes out his phone. 

It’s been 15 minutes since Taeyong ordered pizza. 

Jaehyun is sitting up straight on the sofa, unable to fully relax. He wants to contact Doyoung, but there is simply no way for him to do so when Taeyong is leaning on his shoulder, intertwining his arms with Jaehyun’s. 

“Are you not feeling well?” asks Taeyong with genuine concern while his eyes fixate on the television, “you seem to be very tense today.” 

“Um...I was just thinking about work. Big project deadlines are coming, yeah,” Jaehyun blabbers. 

“I see.” 

“I want to poop,” mutters Jaehyun as he stands up and strides to the washroom, shoving his hands in his pockets to make sure his phone is with him. 

As soon as he closes the bathroom door, he could feel his phone vibrate. Immediately, he turns the tap all the way to full blast, trying to create loud splashing sounds in order to cover his voice. 

“ _Where_ the fuck are you?”Doyoung grunts from the other side of the call.

“Uh...” Jaehyun is clueless of how should he explain. Before he could even utter a word, however, a knock on the bathroom door is heard, which almost frightens Jaehyun into dropping his phone. 

“Honey, the pizza is here,” yells Taeyong from the other side of the door.

“Huh? I can’t hear you,” asks Jaehyun as he puts his phone away from his ear.

“The pizza delivery man is coming up,” exclaims Taeyong again.

“OK, I’ll be quick.”

Jaehyun places his phone near his ear again, only to find the call is disconnected. Perturbed, He dials Doyoung’s number again, but he can only reach his voicemail. And he calls again.

And he calls yet again. 

Not until a few more failed calls does Jaehyun finally realise that Doyoung could be deliberately rejecting his calls. He wants to call again as a final attempt, but another knock on the door stops him from doing so. 

“Honey, do you have coins? the deliveryman doesn’t have enough change. Where’s your wallet?” asks Taeyong. 

“I’m coming out, hold on,” Jaehyun replies loudly and turns off the tap, flushing his toilet in order to complete the act. 

-

Doyoung cannot explain why he needs to hang up the phone once he hears Taeyong’s voice from the other side. He cannot even hear what Taeyong is talking about, but the voice alone is sufficient enough to realise that Jaehyun will not be coming. 

Understanding that it is uncourteous to leave the restaurant without ordering anything after being seated, he orders some takeaway and takes a bus to Gangnam. 

He is now slowly nibbling the fried noodle strand by strand, a stark contrast from Johnny, who is sitting next to him, devouring the food with audible crunching sounds. The two are now sitting in Johnny's room at his office, having another dinner "date", as Johnny is working overtime again. 

“As much as I like it, you don’t need to bring takeaway for me, you know, it’s your day-off and you don’t live nearby,” says Johnny after he puts down his chopsticks, “where did you buy this though? It tastes super good. I think I’ll start ordering takeaway from here.” 

“It’s from...uh...I just bought it randomly, yeah,” blabbers Doyoung, knowing that he simply cannot explain the backstory, “you always work till late, which means you deserve better food than florescent curry, and I don’t know how to show my support except bringing you food either.” 

“I'm very grateful to have a boyfriend who thinks in this way, especially when I can’t spend much time with you these days. My colleagues jokingly said you must be checking up on me, and that’s why you come up and find me with takeaway all of a sudden,” answers Johnny as he strokes Doyoung’s hair, “I was like, this makes no sense cause everyone knows the stereotype about how no gay people have ever existed in Electrical Engineering, or in any kinds of engineering, is factually true, except in Thai BL dramas perhaps.” 

Doyoung responds with a smile, knowing that his boyfriend is joking, for Johnny himself majored in Electrical Engineering. 

“What...what about your ex-boyfriend then,” asks Doyoung as he aimlessly stares at the bowl of noodles, “I remember you told me that you met him in Seoul University.” 

“He majored in Art History,” Johnny answers calmly before he dabs his mouth with tissue paper. 

“How long have you guys been together then?” asks Doyoung, realising that he has never asked Johnny about his past. 

“Throughout my freshman year?” Johnny tilts his head in order to recall this piece of memory. 

“And you have never dated since?” 

Johnny lets out a soft sigh before he answers, “...No, I haven’t. For a year or two, I hesitated a lot when it came to devoting myself in love after that failure, simply for fear of another fruitless relationship. I just...held myself back.” 

While Doyoung has expected Johnny to have never dated thereafter, his explanation is not one that Doyoung has anticipated. He simply thought the reason was that Johnny’s work has been very time-consuming, and there are no proper channels for him to find a suitable date. To Doyoung, Johnny is very passionate in love and, definitely, an intense lover. 

“It took me another year to recognise that I can’t be overly apprehensive in love forever. And I used to regret about the lateness of this epiphany. I am in the labour force now - which means I have entered the busiest stage of my life,” elaborates Johnny as he stares blankly at the table, “I...I become very willing to spend time with any dates however busy I am, because I know I am not _that_ young anymore, and time is running out. But I just...can’t find one, and I have almost lost hope.” 

Johnny stares at Doyoung intensely before he continues, “until I met you. I see hope from you.” 

Upon hearing the last sentence, Doyoung can sense a feeling of guilt shouldering on him. He puts down his head and sniffs, “what...what do you see in me that makes you see hope?” 

Johnny perceives the question in another manner and replies with a smile, “Wait, oh no, do you mean what I have just said makes me sound like I’m ready to date anyone that I meet? No, I...I definitely don't mean that. I mean, I wasn’t thinking about asking you to be my boyfriend that soon. It’s just...do you remember the drive where I sent you home on the night where we become official?” 

Doyoung can only remember he slept through a major part of it. 

“You asked me what were the guys doing outside your window when they were obviously washing their car, do you remember?” Johnny hints. 

Doyoung finally remembers the conversation and nods his head, but he is now bewildered as to why is this relevant here. 

“This may sound very stupid, but I am sure I fell in love you after that conversation,” replies Johnny with a sweet smile, “you are very different from other people that I meet in my monotonous past. I just find the way you see things very...adorable, different, and creative. You... you have ideas that are very off-the-wall and make me see things from another perspective. People in my life have been very...dull, myself perhaps included, and I realise you are the only one who can sprinkle my life with joy. That’s why I don’t want to wait any further, cause I think I have found the one that I really like. I don’t want to lose you.” 

Despite how cheesy and over-the-top Johnny’s speech is, for a mixture of reasons, some of which he can never tell Johnny, Doyoung finds himself weeping. He puts his head further down to hide this fact, but it does not help as the two trails of tears are clearly visible. 

“Babe why are you crying?” Johnny asks tenderly as he brushes Doyoung’s tears with his thumbs, “I didn’t mean to say all these to make you feel moved, I just...want you to know how you make me feel hopeful.” 

He then hugs Doyoung tightly and utters, “I love you.”

Doyoung's chest only heaves more heavily after hearing Johnny's confession.

“I know.”


	12. Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve before Doyoung even realises.

Ten decides to throw a house party where he invites everyone he knows, and he is now decorating their house with the help of Doyoung.

“I swear to God I will explode if I get your gift later on,” Ten scowls, “Nature Republic make-up samples, seriously? Your gift is practically a collection of stolen goods.”

“That’s the beauty of a random gift exchange, you don’t know what will you receive until we draw lots. If all gifts are nice, you lose the fun,” Doyoung retorts, tying the ribbon on top of his gift-wrap, “Also, I think everyone here will love it, except you. I put in _tons_ of samples from a wide range of products, which means that my gift comes with very generalised appeal.”

“You could’ve at least _buy_ a shitty one to increase the fun.”  
“Not like I don’t want to buy one, but I have not fully recovered from the flu yet. I’d rather lie on my bed.”

“Of course I know you have not fully recovered, _who_ cleaned your vomit two nights ago?” Ten jests, “you always say I’m the bad influence, now look at you. Why would Jeno and the other kids want your gift when they can get those samples by themselves.”

“Fine, what’s so exceptionally nice about your gift then,” Doyoung asks, reaching the gift from Ten and shaking it gently to guess what is inside.

Doyoung then shakes the one from himself, and the two sound exactly the same.

“ _Bitch please,_ yours just sounds like packets of samples also,” Doyoung blusters in anger.

Ten permits a knowing smile. “A lot of things sound like this when you shake them inside a box,” jeers Ten, placing both gifts under the Christmas tree, “oh, by the way, Kun is coming also.”

“What?”

“Yeah, when I said I invited everyone, I literally mean that. He is coming up for Christmas,” replies Ten, “I even asked your step-brother, but he's in Taipei as you should know. Jungwoo can’t make it either, he is in Hokkaido with Lucas, who is still alive and well, in case you wonder. I have never seen him, you know, kinda makes me wonder how he looks like.”

“Me too, and both of them seem to be so in love with each other, which is a bit...weird?” Doyoung agrees as he starts sweeping the floor.

“He deserves true love, well, like everyone else does, but still yes, that kind of clinginess towards each other sends me chills,” Ten answers, covering the table with a tablecloth and wine glasses, “when will Johnny be back though?”

“I don't know, he says the snow in Beijing is still outrageously heavy. No one knows when will the airport reopen,” Doyoung explains flatly, sweeping everything onto the dustpan before moving to the living room to continue.

“So no exact date?”

“No, it has to be within this week anyway. No snowstorms will last that long,” Doyoung blabbers.

“I see. I simply thought you will be very eager to see him back. You know, he is stuck at a foreign city, it’s Christmas time, and you have been very sick,” Ten answers, strolling into the kitchen for utensils.

"Prolly that's why he likes me. I am not clingy," Doyoung does not want to dwell on this topic any further, “what time will our party end? I can’t stay up late. I’m a patient, technically.”

“You can’t stay up late anyway, don’t blame the germs,” Ten retorts, “don’t worry, Kun and I’ll be in Hongdae for a countdown party tonight anyway. So it’ll be like...11:00 at most?”

“There are countdown parties for Christmas now? Am I too old or what, why have I never heard of it?” Doyoung questions, throwing everything on the dustpan into the rubbing bin.

“First question, yes, it’s just an excuse for clubs in Hongdae to earn more money anyway,” Ten addresses, “second question, yes, no explanation needed.”

Doyoung is surprised to see Kun blend in seamlessly with all the other guests, but he is _more_ surprised by how no one in the room finds having Sangria for Christmas is unconventional.

“I got the recipe from Pinterest, and It’s red in colour, so it’s meant to be festive. ” Kun explains, being the one who carries all the ingredients to the party for making Sangria.

“I suppose...!? I have never heard of having Sangria for Christmas,” answers Doyoung, before he empties he cup for a refill, “it tastes good though, so don’t worry.”

“You better watch out though, the alcohol concentration is quite high, there’s vodka and red wine in it,” Kun kindly warns, “Ten told us you were still not feeling too well, so don't drink too much.”

Doyoung hums in acknowledgement while he finishes the whole cup in one go.

Kun is wrong. it’s not just Doyoung who should watch out the alcohol concentration, but everyone in the party who is legal to drink. Ten is barely sober by the time for gift exchange.

Doyoung is relieved to find Kun as the recipient of his gift. With the insane amount of alcohol intake, he knows Ten will scream relentlessly for sure if he is getting stolen make-up samples for Christmas.

On the other hand, he is receiving Ten’s gift, but Ten warns him not to open it until tomorrow because the gift is something that “ _you don't hate, but you will hate me for giving it to you_ ”.

“Your warning just adds to my suspicion as to what is inside your gift. I have been wondering if we are giving away the same stuff,” Doyoung bickers.

“Feel free to think in this way. I know you, nothing can calm your suspicion anyway, _Brrrrrup_ , excuse me,” Ten rebukes with his cheeks bright red, “Jaemin’s turn.”

“Oh, Ten is getting my gift,” rejoices Jaemin after drawing Ten’s name from the bag, “I think you will like it.”

Jaemin reaches his large paper bag by the dining table and takes out a a fruit basket. Inside is a palm-sized kitten who is sleeping.

“Your gift is a cat?” Doyoung growls lowly, “the fuck?”

“My cat gave birth to some kittens a few months ago, but our home is too small to accommodate all of them, so we thought of giving out one of them here as a Christmas gift,” Jaemin smiles, pointing at another large paper box by the dining table, “we also bought a bed and some food that should be able to last for a few months.”

If Ten was completely sober, he would probably lecture Jaemin’s mildly insensitive decision of giving away his kitten in a Christmas gift exchange (with remarks such as “what if Doyoung was the new owner, your cat would be dead tomorrow”). Yet, that part of his brain is too drunk to properly function.

“Awwww.....It’s SOOOOOOOOO cute,” exclaims Ten while he softly brushes the back of the kitten, “boy or girl? name?”

“His name is Jeffrey, 3 months old,” Renjun elaborates.

“Why?” The alcohol leads Doyoung to be bothered by how the kitten shares the same English name with his ex-boyfriend.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your question,” responds Renjun with a smile.

“I mean, out of all names, why would you call your cat Jeffrey?” Doyoung asks bluntly, not knowing that what propels him to ask this is the over-consumption of Sangria.

“He… matches the name?” Jeno vaguely reasons.

“Can you be more elaborate?” Doyoung becomes weirdly analytical, “which part of his face makes him look like Jeffrey?”

“Shutupppp, you nasty bitch, the cat’s not yours, but mineeeeeee,” Ten mumbles drowsily, as he places his head on the dining table, allowing alcohol to take over him, “Jeffrey’s good name, it suits him. The way he licks his balls, _Burrrrrrrp,_ excuse me, I mean, paws. Aww...I just can’t.”

“You are getting drunk,” Doyoung informs.

“I’m ash sober ash ‘m gonna git.”

It’s 11:30.

Everyone else left at around 11:00, including Ten, who insists he has to attend the countdown party despite his wobbly walk. Doyoung is now alone at home lying on the sofa with his face still red. He could feel sweat forming on his forehead while the sensation of discomfort in the upper stomach persists longer than he desires.

Reluctantly, he reaches the phone in his pocket that vibrates for a second, indicating a new text.

**Jung Jaehyun:**

Merry Christmas!

Doyoung is too tired to craft an elaborate response.

**Kim Doyoung:**

You too! Celebrating?

**Jung Jaehyun:**

Not really. Alone at home, literally doing nothing.

**Kim Doyoung:**

Me too D:

**Jung Jaehyun:**

Come over?

**Kim Doyoung:**

Too comfy to move. What about you come over.

* * *

“Wow, what happened to your home,” asks Jaehyun curiously after he steps into Doyoung’s apartment, “it’s like after a bombing raid.”

“House party,” Doyoung answers briefly, closing the front door.

“You smell like alcohol.”

“House party,” Doyoung reiterates flatly as an explanation, “trust me, I smelt worse. Why are you alone? Where’s...”

“ _Hold on_ , why is there a cat here?” Jaehyun stares at the other Jaehyun as he walks over, “Awww, it’s so cute.”

“Argh,” Doyoung grunts, “long story. It’s Ten’s.”

“ _Hello cutie~_ ” Jaehyun mutters affectionately, gently brushing the top of its head, “such a friendly kitten. I like cats, but those I met in Busan are assholes.”

“Yeah...” Doyoung mutters as he fixates his gaze with all his available energy on Jaehyun’s smile, because Jaehyun playing with a kitten is _never_ a scene he can mentally handle.

“What's its name?”

“Huh? Sorry, I was zoning out.”

“Does it have a name,” Jaehyun repeats his question, scratching the kitten’s ears.

“Yeah, Jeffrey,” Doyoung answers casually.

Jaehyun raises one eyebrow and stares at Doyoung, “you mean..., his name is Jeffrey.”

Doyoung responds with a snort, “ _Bitch please_ , nothing to do with you, you self-absorbed bastard. Do you remember Jaemin, his boyfriends named him. I don’t wanna explain. It’s stupid.”

Jaehyun seems to be fine with the explanation. He turns his head back to the kitten with an affectionate smile, speaking to the kitten with a pitched voice, “ _Hello Jeffrey_ , _how are you~_ o _nly good-looking people use this name. Ugly people usually call themselves Doyoung.”_

“SHUT UP ALREADY!” Doyoung yells before a laugh, walking into the kitchen, “hey, want some Sangria? We still have some left.”

-

Doyoung _finally_ regrets drinking too much after two more refills.

He is now lounging on the sofa, holding the empty cup on his hand. Worse still, he is not sure whether his nausea and flush originate from having too much alcohol or from the flu he has not fully recovered from.

“What is that?” asks Jaehyun from the other side of the sofa, pointing at Ten’s gift on the coffee table, “Christmas gift?”

“Urgh,” Doyoung groans, brushing all his hair to the back with his hand, “I got loads of them, you can have it.”

Jaehyun unwraps the gift in a haste.

To both of their astonishment, inside Ten's gift is a box of condoms with different flavours. Jaehyun can only turn his head slowly and stare at Doyoung with wonder.

“You got...loads of them? Including this Long Island Iced Tea-flavoured one?” asks Jaehyun hesitantly, holding the said-flavoured condom in his hand.

Doyoung parts his mouth open but he cannot utter a word, realising Ten does not have a shitty soul as he does.

Jaehyun cackles as he places the gift on the coffee table again, “Are you ok though?” he asks, “your face is so much redder than you usually do after drinking.”

“I’m fine. I can just be sick,” Doyoung grumbles, almost lying down on the sofa.

“Isn’t that even worse?” Jaehyun knits his eyebrows as he leans towards Doyoung, placing the back of his hand on Doyoung’s forehead, “well it doesn’t feel like a fever though.”

“I told you I’m fine,” Doyoung insists before he stands up.

“Where are you going?”

“Kitchen, water,” Doyoung blurts before he wobbles and trips over the corner of the coffee table. Jaehyun instantly grips Doyoung’s elbow from behind to steady him, but the latter soon waves him off, “I’m okay.”

“You are not. That’s what you always say when you are not okay. You are an expert at bottling up feelings,” Jaehyun turns Doyoung around to face him, grabbing Doyoung’s cup before he nips over to the kitchen for water, “you stay on the sofa.”

-

Doyoung does feel slightly better after a glass of warm water (even though the discomfort on his upper stomach still persists), yet he also feels worse when he registers that he is in a familiar scenario yet again - doing nothing on the sofa with Jaehyun in complete quietness.

“What do you mean by I’m the expert at bottling up my feelings just then,” Doyoung breaks the silence. Right after, he regrets coming up with this topic; he could have just asked where Taeyong is, something he did not get to ask when Jaehyun arrives.

“It just means what it means,” Jaehyun responds flatly, “you understand better than I do when it comes to how you say things that you do not agree with your heart.”

“No I don’t.”  
“And your disagreement is a prime example of what do I mean,” Jaehyun counters with a smile.

Doyoung tightens his mouth into one straight line before he utters, “I hate you.”

“What you just said is an example too,” Jaehyun replies before emptying his cup of Sangria.

“Uh...,” Doyoung cannot come up a witty clapback. He can only feel the air around him becomes intensely denser upon Jaehyun’s answer, and the silence makes his discomfort in his stomach detectable again.

“Looks like what I have just said is too on-point,” Jaehyun leans in, occupying the middle seat of the sofa.

“Well, if what you said is true, then you must hate me too. I must be a hypocrite in your mind,” Doyoung replies coldly, turning his head away from Jaehyun.

“No, not at all,” Jaehyun denies, shuffling his body even forward.

Doyoung turns his head back to Jaehyun, whose face is much closer than he remembered.

“I like you, just as you are,” Jaehyun continues, ignoring that it is the Sangria that gives him the courage.

Doyoung can tell Jaehyun is staring at him with all the zeal he can ever assemble, something he himself does not realise that he is also doing.

Jaehyun is going to kiss him - an act that he does not mind at all.

As soon as their lips touch, Doyoung moans thirstily into Jaehyun’s mouth as he scrambles for a grip on Jaehyun’s broad shoulders. Jaehyun then shifts his body and lies on top of Doyoung. Their wet kisses generate sounds that Doyoung would normally find disgusting.

“You didn't... answer me last time,” Jaehyun pants while he licks Doyoung’s neck, “do you miss me?”

Doyoung closes his eyes and nods his head faintly with his mouth wide open. He grips hard on Jaehyun’s hair, savouring how Jaehyun is placing both hands inside his T-shirt.

“I love you,” Jaehyun mumbles before he licks into Doyoung’s mouth again. Both of them sit up as the open-mouthed kiss continues while Doyoung unbuttons Jaehyun’s shirt. Jaehyun shrugs off his shirt skilfully while Doyoung’s fingers rake over the skin of Jaehyun’’s arms. Doyoung then reaches Jaehyun’s belt while Jaehyun rests his head on Doyoung’s shoulder.

Something within Doyoung, however, does not feel right. He could feel his abdominal muscles contract for a few times and the unease in his stomach gradually grows.

He is going to puke.

At once, he retracts from Jaehyun’s hug before he can fully whip out Jaehyun’s belt. Jaehyun is confused at first, but he understands what is happening when Doyoung covers his mouth following a violent hiccup.

Immediately, Doyoung sprints towards the washroom while he could feel the intense pressure built in his stomach is about to be expelled.

_BLAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH._

Doyoung cannot help but thank god that he manages to reach the toilet before any puke is vigorously pushed out from his mouth, even though he also hates how the hygiene-freak part of his brain is not silenced even amidst this disaster.

A knock on the bathroom is then heard, “are you ok?” asks Jaehyun from the other side of the door.

“Ye... _RRRAAGGGGHHHH_ ,” Doyoung cannot even complete a word before the expulsion of pressure kicks in again.

“No you are not,” Jaehyun barges into the bathroom with his shirt back on, holding a mop in his hand.

“I...I’m ok, it’s just the alcohol,” Doyoung sputters weakly, sitting by the toilet bowl with visible sweat on his forehead, “get out, please, I want to take a bath.”

* * *

“Sorry,” Doyoung utters softly.

“Sorry for what, you have nothing to say sorry for,“ Jaehyun responds mellowly.

The two are now cuddling on Doyoung’s bed after he takes a bath. Jaehyun is wrapping his arms around Doyoung while both lie close to one side of the bed. Doyoung’s back rests against Jaehyun’s stomach with his legs curled as he places one hand below the pillow and the other on top of Jaehyun’s arm.

“You probably should stop drinking too much,” Jaehyun whispers, even though his tone suggests what he has just said is not meant to be taken seriously at all.

“You tell me, you chug beer like a champ,” Doyoung slowly drawls.

Jaehyun snorts merrily before he answers, “but you should. Well, we can do it together.”

“Mmm...I can do it for you, I guess,” Doyoung agrees.

“You don’t have to do it _for me,”_ says Jaehyun, wrapping Doyoung closer to him, “we can...er... race?”

“Like how.”

“Like...we can report to each other how much we have had each week?” Jaehyun offers with a laugh, understanding that it will not work.

“Yeah. I threw everything up so my net intake of alcohol today is zero, what about you?” Doyoung affirms sarcastically following a snicker.

“We’ll start tomorrow,” Jaehyun chuckles. “We’ll see.”

The two then remain in the same position for a few minutes in absolute tranquility.

“I never realise you have such hairy hands,” Doyoung mumbles as he brushes Jaehyun’s hand with his, “you know what, I had a weird dream about you a few nights ago. We are in Chip and Dale costumes, running around in the airport.”

“And...then...?” Jaehyun drawls out slowly.

“And then...,” Doyoung leaks a laughter before he continues, “and then I woke up and puke, like, for real. You can ask Ten.”

Jaehyun does not respond.  
“Ay, you slept?” Doyoung asks softly. He cannot see Jaehyun from his position.

Jaehyun moves his hand to indicate he is still awake.

“You can take a bath first,” Doyoung suggests, “I’m feeling a lot better now, I only need to rest up a bit before we can...um...yeah, continue what we were doing.”

Jaehyun did not get up. Instead, he holds Doyoung even more tightly, intertwining their fingers as he pulls Doyoung into him.

“We don’t have to do everything in one night,” Jaehyun utters tenderly, “we are not in a hurry. There is plenty of time, for us.”

Doyoung lets out a beam from ear to ear after hearing what Jaehyun said. He wants to roll over and plants a kiss on Jaehyun, but Jaehyun’s arms prevent him from doing so.

“Goodnight,” Doyoung mumbles, wiggling his body closer to Jaehyun. “Goodnight.”


	13. Mirror of You

Spring.

Doyoung wants buy a new car and he is now with Ten in a car showroom near their home.

“You rich, spoiled brat,” Ten utters, peeking into the interior of the Land Rover through the front window, “I know you have a car already in Busan and you are now buying a second one.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t receive the year-end bonus,” Doyoung rolls his eyes, standing by the trunk, “I know Taeil gave huge bonuses to both of us, cause we are still the loafers compared to other flagship stores. Apparently he wants us to stay here so that no aggressive people will come and fill in this power vacuum.”

“I know, but don’t tell me the bonus is so huge that you can pay this off,” Ten scowls, pointing at the Land Rover.

“ _Bitch please_ , of course not, but it should be enough for the down payment..., I guess? I don’t know, I haven’t decided which one I should buy yet, that’s why we are here.” Doyoung defends, “besides, I should put my driving license in good use, especially when I can’t stand commuting by public transport anymore. The metro during peak hours makes me feel like sardines in a can rather than a human being.”

“Fine, but if I remember correctly, don’t you have the same model in Busan?” asks Ten.

“Well, I’m buying a new one just because it will be more convenient to have cars in both Seoul and Busan. I never hated the car,” Doyoung explains, “why should I try getting used to a new one? It’s exhausting to break in something new.”

Ten does not give a prompt response. Instead, he snorts in a dramatic fashion and walks towards Doyoung.

“Yes it is,” Ten answers vaguely, “why should you? Just go back to the old one if that’s something you are so used to,”

Doyoung tilts his head and stares at Ten, before he turns away in annoyance, “I’m talking about the _car_.”

“Me too, _wow_ , how coincidental,” Ten jests, pointing at the Land Rover again, “you’ve already made up your mind, just get the one that you like.”

“Nah, maybe another day,” Doyoung rejects as he follows Ten to the exit, “I’m still choosing between black and beige for the colour of the leather seats.”

“Black,” Ten asserts.

"Why?"

“You know, he got black hair now, black-coloured fallouts seem to be less noticeable on black surfaces,” Ten teases as he continues to walk, failed to perceive that Doyoung has stopped.

“Huh? I can’t hear you, sorry,” Doyoung jogs towards Ten after his shoelaces are tied.

“Nothing.”

* * *

“Sorry for the wait,” Doyoung apologises as he enters Jaehyun’s car, sitting next to him.

“Nah, it’s just a while,” Jaehyun soothes, holding the steering wheel with both hands, “and you finally had your hair.”

“Yes, and the fact that you have to steer the wheel with both hands makes me very nervous,” Doyoung chimes in, “I should’ve insisted on being the one driving, with my new fancy car.”

“Can you just spare me a chance as a new driver? I just got my license,” retorts Jaehyun with a laugh, switching lanes in order to get on to the highway, “I need practice before I can drive with admirable ease like you. Not like I can’t drive with only one hand, but with both hands I feel more...secure? You must have undergone that stage too.”

“Fine,” Doyoung agrees while he turns his head more to face Jaehyun, “what did you tell _him_ then?”

“About what.”

“About why you are not in Seoul but Chuncheon this weekend?”

“I told him it’s for team-building,” Jaehyun answers casually.

“What?” Doyoung grimaces, “What if he calls Yuta?”

Jaehyun releases one of his hands on the steering wheel to hold Doyoung’s. “Of course I notified Yuta, I told him not to answer the phone.”

Doyoung loosens into a smile as he faces the front window again upon hearing the answer, “how much longer will it take?”

“Around an hour more?” Jaehyun speculates, stepping on the gas pedal as the car finally reaches the highway.

“Good, wake me up by then. We were having our annual stock-taking yesterday night, argh,” Doyoung yawns, “I really need to sleep.”

-

The two finally arrive in Chuncheon an hour and a half later.

“Yuta told you about this place?” asks Doyoung as he skip-walks back and forth in the living room.

“Yeah, he’s been to this hotel before,” Jaehyun affirms, rocking on a dining chair, “what do you think, you like it?”

“Or course I do, the living room alone is larger than my home and yours - combined, not to mention bamboo-themed interiors are always my favourite. But this is not a hotel,” answers Doyoung with a beam, pointing at the washing machine, “It’s a service apartment.”

“You really enjoy distinguishing things with intricate differences. It’s a kind of accommodation where people stay at night anyway,” Jaehyun snorts with amusement.

“It doesn't make a difference in our case because we are here only here for a night,” Doyoung flips his hair, “I’ll let that slide.”

“Well, you do you,” Jaehyun agrees, “by the way, you said you got some stuff for me on your text yesterday night, what is it?”

“Oh!” exclaims Doyoung, reaching his bag, “can you close your eyes for a second?”

Jaehyun obliges, closing his eyes and resting his head on the dining table. He can hear all the hustle and bustle, and he can tell Doyoung is travelling back and forth between the kitchen and the living room.

A minute has passed but Jaehyun is still unable to tell what Doyoung is doing, even though he can smell that food is in the air.

“What is it?” Jaehyun questions across the room upon hearing the beep sound from the microwave.

“Be patient,” Doyoung maintains, putting the food on a new plate.

“What the hell is it?”

“Almost,” Doyoung replies joyously, jogging towards the dining table, “keep your eyes closed.”

“I am,” Jaehyun affirms.

Doyoung holds the plate right in front Jaehyun’s nose; the aroma causes Jaehyun to take a sniff before he opens his eyes.

It is a plate filled with normal-looking fried fishcakes.

“Err...I don’t mean to be a party pooper, but what’s all the hype about this,” asks Jaehyun, scratching his head.

“Tsk, you’ll know when you take a bite,” Doyoung snorts.

Jaehyun follows and takes a nibble of it.

Instantly, he recognises it is not just any fishcakes commonly found on the street stalls in Seoul -- the chewy collops of hot, lucent fish; the familiar fragrance and gloss of peanut oil; the rasp of salt; the mild crunch of the crisp batter. The fishcakes have to be from _that stall_ near their home in Busan, the one that Jaehyun enjoys the most.

“They now got a branch in Seoul?” Jaehyun marvels in amazement.

‘Why would a mum-and-pop food stall have a branch? I brought it all the way from Busan when I went back last week for my annual leave,” Doyoung explains triumphantly, sitting opposite to Jaehyun, “such a pain, you know, I have to worry about whether it will turn rancid, thank god the stall owner assures me that they should last for two weeks if I freeze them. And then I have to pack it with dry-ice on my hand-carry luggage. And then I have to worry about where can I reheat it if we are staying at a hotel but not a service apartment.”

Jaehyun nods eagerly, locking his gaze on the fishcakes.

“That’s why I made a fine distinction between a hotel and a service apartment that comes with a kitchen, and I googled this place yesterday night just to make sure the kitchen does come with a microwave. If they don’t, I would have to bring cooking oil with me and reheat them with a frying pan,” Doyoung continues.

Jaehyun nods again as he devours the fishcakes.

“Am I such a sweet person or what?” Doyoung utters tenderly as he rests his chin on his hand, staring at Jaehyun across the dining table.

“You know the answer,” Jaehyun lets out a beam with his eyes turning in a straight line as he answers, who then focuses on finishing the food. Doyoung, on the other hand, chooses to take a rest and lies on the sofa.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” says Jaehyun after taking a bite of a fishcake.

“What.”

“Promise me you won’t get mad first, and answer me honestly.”

“Just ask, what is it?”

“When did you and that Samsung guy start?”

“Why are you asking this again? I’ve told you the N-th time,” Doyoung rolls his eyes, “also, he has a name. I know you know it. stop calling Johnny _the Samsung guy_.”

“But he _is_ from Samsung, right?”

“Yeah, but he got other features and attributes, alright? Like, he is handsome, and tall.”

“No one can deny that he is handsome, but just not as handsome as me,” Jaehyun teases.

“I wanna puke,” Doyoung frowns, rolling his eyes again.

“Feel free, that’s your specialty, your forte.”

“SHUT UP ALREADY!” Doyoung yells with a laugh, “I hate you.”

Jaehyun shrugs his shoulders, “fine, what do you see in him then?”

Doyoung furrows his eyebrows upon hearing the question.

“I don’t know.” He sits up, with his back facing Jaehyun. It takes yet another pause before Doyoung can slowly utters, “Perhaps,” he continues with the same posture, looking out through the window, “just perhaps, from the very beginning, I just wanted someone completely different from you.”

“Which… means?” Jaehyun tries to swallow the fishcake in his mouth.

“Which means I selfishly wanted someone who can make me feel secure all the time, cause he can always make me feel like - oh, he has to like me more than I like him, I am always safe. I don’t have to be swayed emotionally,” Doyoung replies bluntly as he stands up and hunches over the window frame to look at the scenery.

Jaehyun stares at Doyoung’s back and remains silent, forgetting that he is supposed to finish the food. He knows what does Doyoung’s answer imply - Doyoung, at times, has felt that he likes Jaehyun more than the other way round.

“I also asked him why he liked me, and he gave me a puzzling reason at first,” Doyoung repeats the car-washing story, “he was driving me back home the other day, and there are people doing car-washing on the street outside the window. It was already 11pm, so I really wondered what they were actually doing. We had a good-natured banter; he insisted they were just washing their car, and I hypothesised that those guys must have killed somebody in the car and they were cleaning the crime scene. Later on, he said this is the moment he fell in love with me, because I was so different from his dull past and I gave him a new perspective in seeing things in life. "

Doyoung pauses for a moment before continuing, "I started crying after hearing that, I mean, of course, partially because I’m moved, but that’s not the whole reason. It’s because I realise what I hypothesised was so out of my character, and it’s very...very _you. You_ are the one who always come up with these weirdly creative off-the-wall conspiracies and theories, like how you think gangster are involved in the hairdresser shop near our home in Busan. I never recognise your influence on how I think, how I behave, or basically everything that I do, and the epiphany really scares me.”

“I was... I was really looking for a guy different from you at first, only to realise I’ve become exactly like you,” Doyoung concludes as he strolls back to the sofa to lie on it again, “I tried so hard to quit Jung Jaehyun, but in the end..., I just... became another Jung Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun parts his lips, wanting to say something decent to fill in the silence, but to no avail.

“Let me take a bath first,” says Doyoung as he suddenly stands up.

“Do you want to do that together?” Jaehyun blurts what he can think of without any organisation. “The bathtub is huge, but I want to reply to some email from work first."

Doyoung squints at Jaehyun, wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk before he replies, “not a bad idea, but that’s such a bad transition from we were talking about. Let me take a nap first then.”

-

Doyoung wakes up 3 hours later at 6 p.m., only to see Jaehyun is still on the phone. Thinking that he is still talking with his colleagues, Doyoung strolls to the bathroom and turns the tap on, filling the gigantic bathtub with water; hand immersed to make sure it is of a desirable temperature, not icy cold, but also not scalding hot.

Another 15 minutes have passed and Jaehyun finally hangs up the phone. Doyoung strides towards Jaehyun and gently asks, “are we going to bath together or what? The water is turning cold.”

“Is everything okay?” Doyoung questions with genuine concern. Jaehyun’s furrowed eyebrows clearly shows that something happened.

“ _He_ had a car crash,” Jaehyun mumbles.

“Is he... okay?” Doyoung stutters.

“He crashed onto a lamppost and sprinkled his wrist, but he is at home now after medical treatment,” Jaehyun elaborates in a low volume, “sorry.”

Doyoung puts down his head, knowing what does Jaehyun’s _sorry_ indicate - he has to go back to Seoul to check on Taeyong. He licks his lips again and again, secretly wishing that Jaehyun would miraculously choose to stay here.

Jaehyun then strides towards the front door, only to feel Doyoung’s pull on his wrist from behind. He turns his head, the eyes of Doyoung screams nothing but despair.

“Can you not go,” asks Doyoung emotionlessly.

“But there is a need to check on him,” Jaehyun weakly whispers.

“But...but you promised we will spend this weekend together, you promised. You promised to stay with me, you...,” Doyoung utters in an incoherent manner.

“I’ll come back as soon as I can,” Jaehyun soothes, “I’ll come right back if he’s fine.”

Doyoung releases his grip on Jaehyun’s wrists and leans back, turning his head away with his arms crossed, “you know, deep down, you won’t come back once you left.”

“ _Please_ ,” Jaehyun pleads in a breathy voice before he lets out a sigh, “don’t be like this.”

“It's just a sprinkled wrist! He's NOT DEAD! He’s now HOME! which means he is FINE!” Doyoung snaps and finally turns his head back to leer at Jaehyun.

“God…, where’s your compassion?” Jaehyun counters loudly, waving his arms, "you would’ve done the same if you were me!”

The following seconds of silence in the room becomes painfully long for both of them. Doyoung cannot even respond -- he puts down his head again. Jaehyun also does not know what to do except shoving his hands into his pockets, until Doyoung nods fervently a few more seconds later with his mouth pointing downwards.

“Right, right, of course, you are right,” Doyoung mumbles as he continues to nod, fixating his

gaze on the floor, “after all, he is Jung Jaehyun’s boyfriend, not me.”

“I...I’ll hurry,” Jaehyun glowers before he stutters towards the front door.

* * *

It’s already 9:30 pm when Jaehyun arrives at Taeyong’s home thanks to a traffic jam.

“I don’t know why, but I’ve been feeling so perturbed in the last 6 months,” Taeyong mutters softly, letting Jaehyun to hold his injured wrist as they sit closely next to each other on the sofa.

“Since when?” asks Jaehyun, gazing at Taeyong’s wrist to avoid any eye contact while Taeyong stares at Jaehyun’s face.

“Since the time I bumped into your friends near your office,” Taeyong replies with the same soft voice, “I...I don’t know if you have noticed, I’ve been texting you more often. Before, I didn’t want to bother you when you are at work. But lately, I...I’ve found myself texting you and I become more and more anxious to see your reply. I don’t know why.”

Jaehyun is silent. He gently brushes Taeyong's fingers, unable to utter a single word.

“The traffic wasn’t that heavy just then,” Taeyong continues to explain, almost starting to weep, “I just... dropped my phone on the carpet, and I...I won’t be able to feel calm and collected if I can’t see your reply. I knew I shouldn’t pick it up, but...I don’t want to miss your text, so I reached for it anyway, and then...the car crashed before I can do anything.”

Taeyong lays his head on Jaehyun’s lap as he wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s waist.

Right after, Jaehyun’s phone rings, and the ringtone sounds disturbingly loud in Jaehyun's ears. He knows thoroughly the caller has to be Doyoung. There is simply no way it would be another person.

“Don’t go,” Taeyong whimpers, holding Jaehyun’s waist more tightly as he starts to cry audibly, “Can you...not go, please?”

Jaehyun never thought he will face such a conundrum ever in his life. With Taeyong crying aloud on his lap, he does not seem have a choice at all. After a sigh, he takes out his phone and presses the mute button, placing it on the coffee table afterwards.

Taeyong pulls Jaehyun closer to him as he continues to sob uncontrollably, “I’m sorry for being so useless.”

Jaehyun can only sense a heavy burden of guilt on him after hearing what Taeyong said. He can only brushes Taeyong’s hair gently again as a reply while Taeyong continues to sob.

-

Taeyong does not fall asleep until 11:00pm.

Jaehyun is now alone in Taeyong’s living room, checking his own phone. Doyoung did not call again after the first call, a voice message was left.

“ _Hi. You don’t have to bother coming back, cause...I’m leaving.  
Or perhaps you have never thought of coming back, cause you already made a choice. You said we don’t have to do everything in one night, but there are things that have their own timings. There are things that have to be done at that particular instant. There are things that you don't get a chance to do again._

_I often ask myself: what have you done for me, and I...I can’t even think of a single thing. But I still can’t get over you, because I...I like you, no, I love you - so much, so much so that it scares me. I become the maddening and unreasonable person whenever I'm with you, because being away from you becomes very unbearable for me, and nothing seems to work to stop how it feels. But so what? The problem is: We don't work either, and I understand this for long. I...I really do._

_So let’s just...let’s call it an end here, okay?_

_I told...”_

Jaehyun is perplexed at first to hear the voice message end abruptly at the middle of the sentence, until the system notifies that “ _the voicemail has reached its maximum length limit of one minute_.” A choking feeling around his throat forms as he blinks and blinks. He can only will himself to lie on the sofa, blankly stares at the ceiling to let time pass, not sure what should he do now, or how should he react.

* * *

Doyoung has a lot more to say for the voice message, but he knows all those will only be blabbers that add no value to the content. Without a car, Doyoung simply cannot go home. Out of any choices, he can only call Johnny to pick him up.

“I thought you told me that you are spending your weekend with Jungwoo here?” Johnny asks gently, guessing why his boyfriend is pulling a long face.

Doyoung cannot answer Johnny’s question, for obvious reasons. In fact, he cannot even force a smile as he sits silently next to Johnny. They are now on their way home in absolute quietness. Doyoung looks out through the window to distract himself, while Johnny focuses on driving after receiving no replies from his boyfriend, realising that Doyoung does not want to talk at all.

The car comes to a stop in front of Doyoung’s apartment at almost 12:00 a.m., Both of them, however, sit still on their respective seats, knowing there is a need to sort things out.

“Sorry,” Doyoung utters, putting his head down. He cannot even take a look at his boyfriend’s face.

“If you cannot decide, choose him,” Johnny replies calmly, “you don’t have to worry about me.”

Doyoung puts his head further down, feeling the guilt eating him alive. The lack of further questions from Johnny on their way home (even after receiving no replies) supports his own speculation that Johnny has found out what is happening.

He may not have a clear picture, but Johnny must be aware that Doyoung is not on a trip with Jungwoo. What he just said is a clear confirmation.

“I’ve been lying to you,” Doyoung sniffs, turning his head to Johnny, “I’m sorry.”

“Then, do you still want to be with me?”

Doyoung is silent - he is caught off-guard by Johnny's question.

“Let’s just forget the past, and start our own lives together,” Johnny continues earnestly, gazing at Doyoung in his eyes, “can we?”


	14. Confirmation

For the whole week, Doyoung has been slacking off.

He does go to work, but he, so does Ten, knows that his soul is not with him. Even the junior staff notice something is out of the ordinary when Ten lets Doyoung laze in the storeroom like a lifeless zombie and voluntarily shoulder most of his responsibilities.

“I don't want to be harsh, cause I know what happened," Ten utters lowly as he sees Doyoung finally arrive at work, "but still, can you not be _that_ late, it’s hard to cover you up."

“It’s just because your cat pissed on my bed once again,” Doyoung blusters in annoyance, placing his earphones in his pocket.

“Er, wait, we made a pact. The cat is yours during weekends and Mondays. It’s your responsibility to keep the cat alive during that time,” Ten reminds.

“Well, he is, and he is fed before I left,” Doyoung assures, sitting by the cashier, “and you don’t have to cover me up, cause I’m not late. I am the Store Manager, which means I take the attendance here. We are all on time.”

Ten immediately places a finger in front of his mouth, warning Doyoung to lower his voice, “except when the District Manager is also here, he wants to see you.”

“Taeil-shi is here?” Doyoung wonders, “why?”

“Why would I know,” Ten shrugs his shoulders before he points at the storeroom, “he’s been here for 30 minutes. You better come up with some acceptable excuses.”

-

“Good morning, Taeil-shi,” Doyoung greets with a bow after a knock on the door.

“Oh, hey! Good morning!” Taeil returns the courtesy by waving his hand, “please take a seat.”

“Sorry for the wait, uh, there is a traffic jam, yeah,” Doyoung half-heartedly apologises.

“Don’t worry, accidents happen often during commute hours,” Taeil assures, pressing the fingertips of his hands together to form a church steeple, “Doyoung-ah, how long have you been here in Seoul?”

“Er...nine months?” Doyoung counts; he does not remember precisely.

“Then, where do you see yourself in the next 2 to 3 years if you are to develop your career here in Nature Republic?” asks Taeil.

“I honestly haven’t thought of it,” Doyoung shakes his head; he does not even care.

“Well, we are trying to open another flagship, in Myeongdong,” Taeil informs, “You know, Myeongdong is the biggest tourist hub here.”

Doyoung nods his head, wondering what does this have to do with him. “I nominated you to be the new store manager there,” Taeil reveals.

“Huh?” Doyoung gasps, scrunching his nose.

“Yeah. Also, we are restructuring, so you, as the Store Manager of the flagship store in Myeongdong, will concurrently hold the position of District Manager of Myeongdong,” Taeil explains as he leans in, “so it’s a promotion, for the exact reason why I nominated you to come to Seoul.”

“What...What about Ten?” asks Doyoung.

“He will be the District Manager here in Gangnam, I will talk to him about that soon.”

“Oh…, What about you?”

“I’m promoted to the Regional Manager of Seoul, or else why can I nominate you?” Taeil explains with a laugh, “and I cannot stand storefront duties anymore, hahaha.”

Doyoung silently nods again, puzzled by Taeil’s ridiculously frequent promotions. He knows there is no value in challenging Taeil about this when he also benefits from it.

“I have to inform you about this in person, because, you know, your flagship’s customer profile consists mostly of tourists,” Taeil explains, “we want you to receive some training in Mandarin. Every District Manager has to go actually, except Ten, cause he is very fluent in that already.”

“Oh… sure,” Doyoung nods.

“in Beijing, for 3 months.”

Hesitance is definitely noticed before Doyoung feebly nods his head again. Leaving Seoul for a while to start afresh is not exactly a bad idea for him, especially with what happened in the past few months.

“It’s interesting, you nodded your head much more quickly when you agreed to come to Seoul, but you seem to be a bit reluctant this time, even though it’s just for a few months,” Taeil remarks as he tilts his head, "anything happened? Grew your roots here?” You still have a month here, by that it means you will come back 4 months from now, and you can always take your annual leave in between, so don’t worry.”

“No, nothing really happened,” Doyoung forces a smile, “anywhere is just the same for me, yeah.”

* * *

Another week passes slower than Doyoung wants.

“Can you tell me again why are we in a karaoke for a move-in party for Jungwoo?” whispers Doyoung, dully sitting in the corner of the dimly lit karaoke room.

“Well, this is supposed to be a house-warming party for him and his boyfriend,” answers Ten with an equally low volume, “but some pipes burst in their kitchen and the floor was flooded this morning, so we have switch places.”

“Such bad luck,” Doyoung comments flatly, “and why are the kids here?? Do they even know Jungwoo?”

“Stop calling Jeno Renjun and Jaemin the kids! And Lucas and Renjun are actually cousins, Apparently Jeno thinks we should've been suspecting that given that both of them got the surname Huang,” Ten adds, chewing his straw on his cup of Martini.

"Isn't Huang a common surname?"

"Yup," Ten shrugs, "and, you know, considering Jungwoo’s past, this is not _that_ bad. I can’t believe I’m going to see his boyfriend in person.”

“What do you mean, it’s like the fifth relationship he is in. You must have met some of his previous boyfriends in the flesh.”

“Well, I get to see all his previous boyfriends in their funerals,” Ten explains, “do those occasions count as _in the flesh_?”

“I truly can’t tell if you are being genuine or sarcastic,” Doyoung answers.

“Tsk, he is our close friend. I’m genuinely happy to see his boyfriend... alive and well? Do you think he knows about Jungwoo’s real name and history by now?” Ten wonders.

“Of course,” Doyoung retorts, rolling his eyes, "or else why would he invite me?"

“Right,” replies Ten, lifting his head up as a sign of his late realisation, “and I can’t wait to see how he looks like.”

“Don’t hold your hopes too high, do you remember the date I was set up with under the same programme, he looks completely forgettable,” Doyoung reminds.

Ten nods before both of them see Jungwoo standing up with a microphone in his hand.

“Hi everyone, sorry for the sudden change of venue,” Jungwoo greets with his microphone under his chin, “uh, Lucas is coming, he is still on the phone with the plumber, we can start firs...”

A man knocks on the door and enters their room before Jungwoo even finishes the sentence.

It is Lucas.

“Babe!” yells Jungwoo, bouncing into the arms of Lucas.

“I miss you,” mumbles Lucas next Jungwoo’s ear, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Ten hurriedly grips Doyoung by his wrist as the two stares at Lucas, suprised by how handsome he is. He may look too young to be Doyoung’s type, but by all means is he the opposite of forgettable.

“Hello, I’m Lucas Huang, Jungwoo’s boyfriend, please just call me Lucas,” Lucas greets with a shy smile, waving his hand in a tentative manner, “may I ask which one of you is Doyoung-shi?”

Ten turns his head to Doyoung while the latter hesitantly stands up, raising his hand.

“...Hi,” Lucas greets with a smile, holding Jungwoo’s hand before they walk together towards Doyoung.

“Hi,” Doyoung replies, holding out his hand.

To Doyoung’s surprise, Lucas does not return the gesture. He gives Doyoung a bow before he pulls out the chair next to Doyoung’s and signals Jungwoo to sit first.

"Mind your step,” Lucas utters softly to Jungwoo, to which the latter responds with a radiating smile.

“I want to thank you for not showing up that day,” Lucas continues, pulling out the chair next to Jungwoo to sit on it, “or else, Jungwoo and I would not have met.”

Doyoung nods lightly, agreeing that Lucas matches Jungwoo more than him _by far_.  
“You are our cupid,” Lucas adds, nudging Jungwoo’s head to to his own shoulder, “if you came forward that day, the ending would not be perfect for sure.”

Doyoung forces a smile as he turns his head and sends a telltale gaze to Ten, just to make sure he is not the only one puzzled by Lucas’s phrasing.

“If we ever adopt a child one day, even though that day may possibly be in the distant future, Doyoung-shi, you have to be his godfather,” Lucas proposes, placing his hand on Jungwoo’s shoulder so that he can lean in, “what do you think, babe?”

“Of course,” Jungwoo agrees before Lucas then plants a kiss on his forhead.

Doyoung changes his forced smile to a benevolent one. Even though it is repulsive to witness any “greasiness” of love for him, Seeing his friends in love remains to be delightful.

“I know my babe’s road in love has been very bumpy. All his boyfriends... encountered a shortened period of existence, but it’s okay. He gave me confidence in life, and we will face this together. I will make sure I am always here for him.” Lucas reassures with determination in his eyes before he pecks Jungwoo’s forehead one more time, holding him tighter.

Doyoung cannot help but reverts his smile back to a forced one as the speech sends chills down his spine. Ten straight off wants to puke by the public display of affection, and he can tell Doyoung shares the same feeling from his furrowed eyebrows.

“Have you guys bought a washing machine for your new apartment yet?” Ten suddenly chimes in, “if you guys haven’t, don’t”

“Why?” asks Jungwoo.

“You won’t need clothes,” Ten explains, “once you two lovey-dovey live together, I can’t even imagine a time where you two will want to put your clothes back on.”

Doyoung bursts into laughters immediately, knowing what does Ten’s answer imply.

“Don’t say that,” Jungwoo weakly defends.

“Actually,” Lucas follows, holding Jungwoo closer to him, “Ten-shi is not wrong.”

The couple then giggles between themselves, while Doyoung, together with all other guests, open their mouths wide open.

“Er... _WOW_ , what a happy day, right? Yes, it has to be. Yes, yes,” Ten interjects loudly as he raises his pint of beer, trying his best to mitigate the awkwardness, “let’s have a toast, cheers!!!!”

“CHEERS!!!!!!!!!”

-

Jungwoo and Lucas are joyfully singing karaoke in front of the television, while Ten is playing ring of fire with the kids, a game that Doyoung totally hates.

Doyoung does not know what to do apart from slowly finishing his beer in silence. The background music, singing voices and screams bombarding his ears become blurrier and blurrier. The vibration from his phone nudges him from blankly gazing into the distance a few minutes later. He takes out his phone to have a look, only to find it is a text from _him_.

**Jung Jaehyun:**

Can we talk?

Doyoung wants to ignore the text, but he knows Jaehyun is different from him. From their experience in Busan, Jaehyun will not give up easily if he receives no reply.

**Kim Doyoung:**

Can’t. Am at a karaoke.

**Jung Jaehyun:**

Where?

-

Doyoung strides to another karaoke room. He peeps into the room through the narrow window, one hand on the doorknob, and he finds Jaehyun quietly sitting on the sofa with his head down.

After taking in a big breath, he barges in.

“ _Why are you here alone, sir?_ ” Doyoung starts with an eerie smile, deliberately avoiding Jaehyun’s eyes, “ _Doyoung always has the best girls, and the boys, why don’t you call some up here for some fun, huh? you want sexy teachers, naughty nurses or slutty french maids?_ ”

Jaehyun stares at Doyoung, unsure of how should he reply. He knows Doyoung is being passive- aggressive by putting up an act.

“ _Oh right, I forgot_ ,” Doyoung continues, leaning forward after he sits on the sofa, glaring at Jaehyun, “ _Mr. Jaehyun you are into innocent flight attendants. Silly me, ha ha ha._ ”

“Sorry,” Jaehyun utters slowly, “I’m sorry about last time.”

“ _Well, since we knew each other for long, how about Doyoung buys you a 6-pack of beer and we’re done here?_ ,” Doyoung suggests, continuing his act.

“I’m serious,” Jaehyun emphasises.

Doyoung finally reciprocates Jaehyun’s stares after he sits up straight on the sofa. A few more blinks later, he blusters in annoyance, “don’t you think we are just repeating ourselves?”

“Repeating what?”

“We are just running in circles from Busan to Seoul, and I am just... always chosen over by something else.” Doyoung fumes, blurting out anything he could’ve thought of, “You know what, and I’m fine with it. I’m even fine with repeating ourselves. I’m willing to try, but it doesn’t. fucking. work. We will still undergo the same fucking problem, because you won't fucking change.”

“No, I... I did try to change,” Jaehyun instantly reasons, “I really, really, really wanted to come back to find you after making sure everything’s okay. I know I may return late, but I will. If I didn’t plan to come back, I wouldn’t leave you alone there. I would’ve driven you home first, cause I know your car was not with you.”

Doyoung is silent as he stares vacantly on the coffee table, finding Jaehyun’s justification not totally unreasonable.

“Look, imagine Johnny crashed his car that day, you would’ve visited him also. Why am I the wrong one to make a visit? You left our hotel room before we even have a chance to talk again, and then I’m instantly asserted as a person who simply left you alone. Isn’t that a bit too unfair for me?” Jaehyun asks.

Doyoung shifts his gaze back to Jaehyun again, he knows his own eyes now radiates a sense of softness - something Jaehyun can also tell.

“When I was back to Seoul that night, all... all I can think about is you. I... I realise, I just want to be with you... I...”

Jaehyun’s phone on the corner table rings interrupts the sentence before he can finish,, and both of them can clearly see from display that the caller is Taeyong.

Instantly, Doyoung turns his head away as he brushes his hair with his hand in irritation while Jaehyun flips his phone back-side up to mute the call.

With his eyes are filled with spite once again, Jaehyun can tell Doyoung is visibly exasperated by being reminded of the unfading presence of Taeyong. It is within Jaehyun’s original plan to Doyoung that he loves him. He wants to become official with Doyoung again. He wants to propose that they set up a deadline for making things clear with their current boyfriends. Yet, Jaehyun knows the call has just completely shattered all the momentum that he has built-up for his impending speech; and they are now back to square one - the stage when Doyoung first came in.

The two sit in an extremely uncomfortable silence for a few seconds before a knock on the door is then heard.

“Good afternoon, any drinks you guys would like to order?” asks the waiter at the door.

“Give him a 6-pack of Heineken,” Doyoung answers flatly across the room, “he’ll leave after that, charge the bill on Room 301.”

“Thank you,” answers the waiter before he closes the door.

Right after, Doyoung stands up with a stomp, marching towards the door.

“Don’t go,” begs Jaehyun when Doyoung is one step away from leaving, “I...I still have things to say.”

Doyoung responds with the same eerie smile when he enters, “why don’t you tell Taeyong about what you want to say then? He must be a great listener who wants to hear your voice 24/7.”

He makes sure the door is slammed loudly behind him before he takes heavy steps to the front door of the room with his friends, wiping his eyes dry before he opens the door.

-

“Hey! You finish your toilet break on the right time,” Jungwoo exclaims joyously at Doyoung, pointing at the television, “this song has to be yours.”

Doyoung forces a smile before he grabs the microphone on the coffee table and sits on the sofa, trying as hard as he can to act like nothing happened. He starts with a stable voice. As the song goes on, however, Doyoung’s voice starts to shake.

Every word becomes harder and harder to enunciate than the previous one for Doyoung; for how he starts to choke and his vision becomes blurry.

It’s an upbeat song, but Doyoung’s mind is completely flooded by moments he spent with Jaehyun - the time they boast about their ex-boyfriends; the time they banter as they lounge on the sofa; the time they paddle on Han River; the time when Jaehyun accepts defeat after finding out this song is really about him.

Not wanting other party guests to find out what happened from the deteriorating stability of his voice, Doyoung takes a large sniff before he announces with a shaky voice, “sorry...the...the notes are too high to reach, haha.” He then wraps his arms around him and stops singing.

Right after, Jungwoo and Lucas grab the other microphones on the coffee table and start to sing the song in an absurdly cheerful manner.

The couple continues to sing at full blast, and Doyoung has to put his head down to hide his trails of tears. This is not the first time he is separated from Jaehyun, but this time feels way more harrowing than the first time for him - _way more_. He hates how he is still analytical enough to ascribe the difference to how clear-cut this time their break up is.

As soon as he slightly curls his back to hide his heaving chest, someone hastily places pieces of tissue paper on Doyoung’s lap. He lifts his head up slightly to take a peek of who it is.

It is Ten, who remains his gaze on the television with a smile and nods in accordance with the rhythm of the song, trying not to draw attention from any other guests.

Agilely, Doyoung grabs the tissue paper and dabs it on his face to dry the tears while the lovebird ends the song merrily. Doyoung puts down the microphone on the coffee table just as the outro of the song plays in the background.

“th...thank you.” Doyoung leans into Ten and whispers.

“ _Bitch please_ , that’s why we are friends.”

* * *

Jaehyun finished all 6 cans of beer in the room eventually just to hocus himself from the reality of losing Doyoung.

Unsurprisingly, he suffers from a hangover the next day. The feeling of extreme fatigue, together with a sense of emptiness, however, persist thereafter. Thinking that work can be a tool of mental anaesthesia, he makes extra efforts in completing all the projects currently in his hand. Still, every night when he lies on the bed, the feeling of hollowness simply resurfaces.

He is now droopily sitting in Taeyong’s living room, staring off into the vacant distance through the window.

“I got this for you from Hong Kong Disneyland,” Taeyong starts eagerly, handing Jaehyun a pair of Chip and Dale dolls after placing his camera on the coffee table, “aren’t they cute?”

Jaehyun holds the two dolls in his hands before he dryly replies, “I’m actually not a big fan of Disney, and I...I can’t tell who is who.”

“Huh? But you got a Chip and Dale cushion on your bed,” Taeyong wonders, sitting next to Jaehyun on the sofa, “never mind, give them to me. I’ll show you how.”

Jaehyun silently passes the dolls to Taeyong before the latter explains with a smile, “The one with a black nose is Chip, and the one with a red nose is Dale.”

Jaehyun can only blankly stare at the two dolls as he answers, “it doesn’t matter. It... doesn’t matter anymore.”

“No! You have to tell them apart, because you are Chip,” Taeyong smiles, handing the Chip doll to Jaehyun while he holds the Dale one, “honey you not be that dumb? It’s not hard to differentiate, haha.”

“Yes, yes indeed. I’m very dumb,” says Jaehyun as he stares at the doll at this hand.

Taeyong is unprepared for Jaehyun’s dull response, he contorts a constrained smile and places the Dale doll on the sofa as he utters, “I... I am just kidding.”

“No, I’m just dumb,” Jaehyun insists, “after so long, I still forget that the one who has centred teeth is Chip.”

“Shall... shall we eat out?” Taeyong tries to divert the attention as he places the camera on his lap, “we can have pizz...”

“He said the same thing 2 years ago,” Jaehyun interjects flatly, “he said that I’m Chip, because I smile with two teeth showing, and he’s Dale. He is the one who likes Chip and Dale; he is the one who gave me the worn out cushion on my bed.”

Taeyong freezes as he runs every single word of Jaehyun’s reply in his mind. He does not want to understand who his boyfriend is referring to, but he thoroughly does.

 _He_ is Doyoung.

Taeyong presses his lips into a thin line for a moment before he breaks the silence. “If... if you have long known that you cannot forget him,” he quavers with a soft voice, staring at Jaehyun with despair, “why... why do you have to be with me?”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun utters slowly while he shifts his gaze to the floor.

“No! I don’t want to hear you say sorry! I don’t need your sorry! I, I... _argh_...,” Taeyong shouts in anger before he changes back to a peaceful tone, “I... I know there are times that I’m not good enough. Just tell me. I... I can change.”

“No, no. it’s... it’s my problem,” Jaehyun admits, “you’re good, very good indeed.”

“And you don't want me now because I’m good. Do you even know what are you talking about?” Taeyong hisses. He runs his hands through his hair as he lowers his head to hide his tears, ignoring that Jaehyun is leaning in slowly, parting his mouth a few times before forming a complete sentence.

“When...when I was in Busan, I love the fried fishcakes from a food stall near my home a lot, and people often ask me why do I like that particular shop so much, especially when you can buy fishcakes everywhere. Yes, it is sometimes too oily and salty, but... but I just love it, and when you love something, it is good. It's not the other way round,” Jaehyun explains incoherently, “he’s good because... I love him; Everything he does is good because... I love him; He is perfect... because I love him. I love him because... I love him, and by that, he is good.”

“What is the point of rubbing this in my face,” Taeyong’s voice becomes raspy as he can feel tears continue to form around the corner of his eyes.

“No, that... that’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun mutters, “I don’t want to leave things hanging and fill you with unanswered questions. It hurts even more, I don’t want you to question yourself..., it’s not your problem. It’s really not.”

“That just means you don’t even bother to lie to me anymore, right?" Taeyong asks lifelessly before he takes a big sniff, “that night, I... I begged you not to leave me after my car crashed. But I know deep down that your soul has never been here since that time we bumped into him, right? We... we have been together for almost one year, but I was never in your mind, not even for a few seconds, am I right? Huh?”

Jaehyun straightens his lips into one straight line while Taeyong looks out through the window, letting the tears form two visible trails on his face.

“Am I?” Taeyong repeats again while the tears continue to flow from his eyes.

“No, I... I really thought I can I get over him, but... but everything came back to me at an instant when I saw him again. I... I still tried to get over him even after that, but... the more I try, the more I realise I like him,” Jaehyun confesses after a pause, “It’s... It’s unfair to you if my mind is occupied by him while I'm with you, and that's why I’m so honest. I... I don’t want you to overthink. I’m sorry.”

Taeyong nods as he sniffs repeatedly, gaining control of his tears.

“I...,” Jaehyun tries to fill in the silence.

“So you think you can leave just like that? Simply for being honest?” Taeyong interrupts as he stands up and steps forward to Jaehyun, staring at him with noticeable menace, "Jung Jaehyun, so you think you can leave nothing for me and walk out of this room? Huh?"

Jaehyun immediately lifts his head and leans back, unsure of how should he respond.

“Don't even think about leaving this room if you don't leave me a part of you,” Taeyong warns with an eerily calm tone, taking one more step forward to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun is frightened, he has never seen this side of Taeyong. He gapes at Taeyong with his mouth open, fearing about his own safety.

Without any warning, Taeyong takes another big, forceful step towards Jaehyun. The latter immediately leans back further and turns his head away.

_CLICK-CLACK SHTRAK!_

A blinding flash then engulfs Jaehyun’s face. He closes his eyes tightly, and he can hear the same sound again.

_CLICK-CLACK SHTRAK!_

Jaehyun vaguely recalls this as the sound of Taeyong’s film camera - the one that he uses when they first met. He slowly opens his eyes, only to see Taeyong chuckle, even though the trails of tears are still clearly visible.

“You should look at your scared face. What do you think I'm gonna do, physically hurt you?” Taeyong asks calmly as he forces a wry smile, holding the camera in his hand.

Jaehyun blinks quickly as he tries to decipher what happened. He only remembers that Taeyong had a camera on his lap before their conversation turned heavy, and he is completely absorbed to properly communicate with Taeyong since then. What is the exact moment when Taeyong holds the camera in his hand will forever be beyond Jaehyun’s knowledge.

“Okay, I’ve... I’ve kept a part of Jung Jaehyun now,” Taeyong whimpers, staring at his own camera with anguish, “He can have the rest."

Jaehyun can only gaze at Taeyong with guilt. He wants to apologise yet again, but he reckons that will only result in backlash.

"Do you still remember when we first met, I... I told you that imperfections make things more real, and you replied to me that I'm not too real then?" asks Taeyong as he continues to stare at the camera, avoiding all sorts of eye contact, "I guess... I guess you are right from the beginning. To you, I’ve never been a real person. I’m just... a lifebuoy when you are drowning in the open ocean.”

Jaehyun wants to deny what Taeyong said, but he understands it will be better to be silent. He reaches the tissue box when he sees Taeyong’s eyes become watery again, only to be stopped by Taeyong who pushes his arm away.

“No, please don’t, I... I’ve already kept a part of you, and I shall return you to him,” Taeyong rejects, wiping his tears with his forearm, "No, I should’ve returned, for long.”

Jaehyun lower his head as he once again becomes speechless.

“You can go now,” Taeyong slowly utters, walking back to his bedroom, “just lock the door and place my keys under the doormat when you leave. Thank you, Jaehyun-shi, and good night.”


	15. Run To You

Doyoung is restocking eyeliners on the shelf when he sees a familiar face walk pass him and stop at the brow pencil section. Intrigued, he takes a step closer as he locks his gaze on the customer’s face, just to make sure he is not mistaken.

And he is not, the customer is someone that everyone knows.

Doyoung swallows hard before he takes another step and politely greets, “Hi,...good afternoon, I’m the Store Manager here.”

The customer responds with a smile and replies, “hello.”

“Are...are you Sunye-shi from the Wonder Girls?” asks Doyoung with noticeable joy. Sunye nods her head as her smile continues to hold.

“Oh my god,” Doyoung loosens into a wide and easy smile with all his teeth showing, “it’s so nice to meet you. I... I really like all the songs from Wonder Girls. I always sing your songs when I go to a karaoke. It’s my last shift here in this branch. I can’t believe I get to meet a celebrity.”

“Thank you,” Sunye smiles, picking up a black brow pencil from the shelf.

“No, it’s really my pleasure to meet you,” Doyoung eagerly replies, “er... Are you looking for brow pencils?”

“Yeah. Any recommendations?”

“Umm... the one in your hand may be a bit too dark. You may have to apply it very gently every time, or else it’s easy to overdo your brows with this colour, especially at times when you want fuller ones,” Doyoung answers enthusiastically, alternating his gaze between the shelf and Sunye’s brows, “let me see..., umm... what about this one?”

“I think this dark brown colour will match you more. It is around one shade lighter than your black hair, so it will help in softening your features but also accentuating more on the eyes,” Doyoung elaborates, applying the pencil on the back of his hand as a demonstration, “the slanted tip will be very helpful when you want to define the end of your brows.”

“It looks good, thank you so much,” Sunye approves with a grin, “You are really helpful. No wonder you are the Store Manager here.”

“You’re welcome,” Doyoung replies, slightly lowering his head to scratch the back of his neck, “umm...do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Sunye gazes at Doyoung for a second before she agrees, “Sure, go ahead.”

“You know, um, you get married when you are at the peak of the your stardom, and I think it takes a lot of courage to step down from all the glamour and fame. After you retire from the entertainment industry, have you sometimes felt sentimental or, umm..., for lack of a better word, regret when you look back?” asks Doyoung cautiously, “sorry, I don't know how to phrase it nicely.”

Sunye radiates a bright smile before she answers, “No, not at all. Of course I love being a singer and perform in front of everyone; all the cheers and chants are music to my ears. But when you get to meet someone who you love and are in love with, you just..., I don’t know, you just want to lead a more typical life with that person and settle down. When you love and are in love with someone, you feel wonderful just to be with that person, even without all the glitter and glamour.”

“That’s very sweet,” Doyoung compliments, trying to squeeze something from their conversation to lengthen the one-to-one conversation with a celebrity, “your husband must be the person you love and are in love with, but um...isn’t the two the same thing? To love and to be in love?”

“Oh, no, not at all. They are entirely different,” Sunye replies with a laugh, “Loving someone is appreciating someone’s existence in your life. You can love somebody from a distance, but definitely not so when you are in love with someone. To be in love is all-consuming, and it’s the intense passion you feel that makes it unbearable to be away from that person - the person that first pops up in your mind when you are about to stop breathing.”

Doyoung becomes silent and darts his eyes away for a few seconds to digest Sunye’s speech. He then answers with a diplomatic smile, “Thank you, it’s very nice of you to answer a stupid fan question in such great detail. I’m sorry for asking such a bold question.”

“Don’t worry, it always happens. I encounter this kind of questions in all kinds of stores, some ajummas love asking me this when they bump into me in supermarkets,” Sunye waves her hand, “uh... can I pay by credit card?”

“Sure, this way please.”

\---

Jaehyun knows Doyoung is avoiding him.

From their experience in Busan, he knows crashing his home does not work. Therefore, he chooses to visit where Doyoung works, thinking that if he really is there, there is a lower chance for him to "escape".

Yet, Jaehyun can only see Ten at the storefront.

“Hi,” Jaehyun hesitantly greets before he chews his lip.

“What are you asshole doing here?” Ten bawls, glaring at Jaehyun.

“Is...Is Doyoung here?” Jaehyun asks with a soft voice.

“Leave him alone, please,” Ten hisses as he sorts the bottles of lip tints on the shelf by their shades.

“No, uh, I just want to talk to him, and, uh...,” Jaehyun defends.

“and what? And patch things up? That’s just a nice way to put it for you to fuck with him again,” Ten retorts, “he’s not here.”

“Where... where is he? I... I remember he has night shift on Wednesdays.”

“Well, he was here this morning, but it’s not his shift now.” Ten answers impatiently, “he left a few hours ago. Why don’t you just call him and ask?”

“He won’t pick up my phone,” Jaehyun mumbles.

“Just use another phone, did you sit on your brain?,” Ten casually proposes, stepping towards another shelf to organise the bottles of nail polish, “oh, well, on second thought, why don’t you use Taeyong’s phone? Doyoung must not have his number.”

“Um, we..., we broke up,” Jaehyun murmurs, putting his head down.

Ten halts his action at once and turns his head to stare at Jaehyun before he resumes his task and utters, “well, good for Taeyong.”

“Um..., uh, will he by any chance come back here today?” Jaehyun asks.

“Are you seriously asking? Or you are just grasping at straws?” Ten heckles, “who will return to where they work for no reason at all after office hours? Except when he or she is possessed by the worst kind of demons imaginable?”

Jaehyun puts down his head, looking noticeably defeated.

“Actually, Doyoung won’t be here anymore. It’s his last day here, so don’t bother coming back here,” Ten reveals coldly.

“What? where... where is he? where did he go?” Jaehyun immediately lifts his head and asks nervously, “Why...why didn’t he tell me this?”

“Who the fuck do you think you are to him?” Ten bristles in annoyance.

“Uh..., I just...,” Jaehyun mumbles.

“He’s transferred to Beijing for 3 months, but he took a week-off to travel back to Busan first,” Ten informs, walking towards another shelf.

“When... When is his flight?” asks Jaehyun.

“Tonight, he is taking the train, 9:30 in Seoul Station,” Ten explains in a speed slower than usual, “it’s around 30 minutes from here by taxi.”

Jaehyun takes a look of his watch, it’s 8:15.

He has planned something for this meet-up, which is supposed to be done in a movie theatre nearby. With only around an hour left, he knows it is too late; Doyoung must be in the train station by now.

Jaehyun nods his head lightly and straightens his lips into one thin line for a moment, uttering “thank you” before he slowly lumbers towards the exit with his head down.

“ _Gosh, arggggh_ ,” Ten jogs from behind and stands in front of Jaehyun, staring at Jaehyun with a scowl, “what kind of person are you? You’ve never thought of chasing him back or what?”

“But didn’t you tell me to...,” Jaehyun wonders.

“But what, what’s so motherfucking indispensable that stands in your way? His train leaves at 9:30. It’s just around 8:15 now, and we are talking about Seoul station in the city centre, not Incheon airport. There’s no way you can’t make it,” Ten harshly interrupts, “you drag your feet on fucking everything! If you still like him, can you at least do something to show that you really do?”

Jaehyun blankly stares at the floor and utters, “I...”

“He’s my best friend, and I... I don’t want to see him in this state,” Ten interjects again, shaking his head, “he may smile or crack a joke here and there now, but I know he’s not thoroughly happy inside. I mean, yes, in some ways, you are an asshole.”

Jaehyun shifts his gaze from the floor to Ten immediately upon hearing what he said before Ten continues, “but I know what he wants. He doesn't need someone who is mature or serious-minded as fuck, or someone who treats him like a prince. He just wants to feel loved by the one he loves, and that’s you. It has always been you, and I know you love him too. Prove it, please.”

Jaehyun stands still and remains speechless.

“God, why are you standing here, get going you bastard! Get going! Get going!” Ten yells with a stomp, waving his arms in the air.

“Okay, okay,” Jaehyun breathily acknowledges while he turns away in no time and holds his hand out for a taxi.

-

“Seoul station, thank you,” Jaehyun informs the driver as soon as he gets on the car. He then takes out his phone to call Yuta.

“Hey Yuta, er..., change of plan,” Jaehyun speaks to him through the phone, “can you send the video to my email _now_ , I’ll email that to him, yeah... I’ll explain later, yeah, hurry. Send it now, please, thank you, Bye.”

Right after, he dials Doyoung’s number; and as he expects, his call was not picked up once again.

“Sorry, umm, I’m in a hurry, can you drive faster?” Jaehyun requests as he pats the driver’s shoulder, “thank you.”

Doyoung immediately ends the call when he sees the caller is Jaehyun. He tucks his phone into his pocket while he takes a peek of Johnny, who is sitting next to him, completely undistracted from reading the work on his laptop. The two are now sitting on one of the benches in the departure hall of Seoul Station, waiting for the boarding of their train.

“Um...is it really fine for you take day-offs like this with such a short notice?” asks Doyoung with concern, pointing at Johnny’s laptop, “I don’t necessarily need any break between changing work locations actually. It’s not my first time.”

“It’s ok, I haven’t gone back to Busan for 3 years, cause I haven’t used my annual leave for the whole time. Even my boss finds it strange, haha,” answers Johnny, closing his laptop, “don’t You need a break too? It’s gonna be tough for the next few months for you. You need to be familiar with a lot of new stuff.”

Doyoung forces a smile, one that Johnny notices how constrained it is. “Missing Seoul already?” asks Johnny as he leans in.

“No, not really, anywhere is the same for me,” Doyoung replies flatly before the constrained smile reappears on his face.

“Do you want coffee?” Johnny proposes, “We better get something to drink before we get to the train platform.”

Doyoung nods his head.

“Flat White? Grande?” asks Johnny as he stands up, getting ready to walk towards Starbucks, “look after our luggage, I’ll go get it.”

“Yeah, thank you,” Doyoung answers before he blankly stares at floor, resting he head and his chin again.

A short vibration from his phone nudges Doyoung from spacing out. He takes his phone out to have a look.

It’s a text from Jaehyun.

 **Jung Jaehyun** :

_I know you don’t want to listen to my voice, but please check your email._

**Jung Jaehyun** :

_I’m coming as fast as I can._

**Jung Jaehyun** :

_Can you stay?_

Curious, Doyoung clicks on the Mail app on his phone. And he finds a new one from Jaehyun, with nothing written in it but only a video attached.

Jaehyun is wearing a chipmunk costume in the video, one that Doyoung recognises it’s Chip from Chip and Dale. He is sitting in a dimly lit area, facing the camera alone.

“ _Hi, it’s me. I...I know I look stupid with I’m wearing right now. Umm, I distinctively remember you said on Christmas Eve that you dreamt about us running in the airport, with Chip and Dale costumes, so, yes, I’m gonna run around in the airport with this costume because...um, I just want to let you know; I really do try my best to bear in mind everything that you said, even trifling things. And I know I have to make big gestures after what we have been through to let you know that I...I really love you, and I’m making efforts to be a better person, and I hope you are with me right now actualising your dreams._

_I...I’m sorry that my brain only gives me bizarre ideas like this one. You know, I’m never that kind of person who comes up with conventionally romantic ideas, and I know you don’t like material things like exorbitant gifts, flowers and stuffs. So, um..., I’m in one of the washrooms of the airport already in order to get changed. Okay, whooo~, Here we go.”_

The video then showcases Jaehyun holding out a selfie stick, filming himself on his iPhone running in Incheon Airport with the Chip costume on, while all the tourists, commuters and airport staff nearby leer at him with extreme confusion. He looks absolutely confident in the video while he sprint from one end of the arrival hall to another, even in an outlandish costume and with countless disapproving gazes from all the spectators nearby.

Part of Doyoung finds this is very dumb, if not, preposterous.

Yet, the better part of him finds himself fighting against the tears in his eyes. His occasional stupidity, his boundless creativity, his eccentric way of seeing things in life, _everything_ ; all these traits of Jaehyun engulf Doyoung’s mind as he finds it impossible to shift his gaze away from the pink-haired man on the screen.

It becomes harder and harder for Doyoung to tear up only in small amounts while the video continues to play. He runs his hand through his hair while the tears lands on the keyboard of his laptop. He knows Johnny is walking back from afar, but he cannot stop himself from forming more tears at the corner of his eyes.

Doyoung still finds him very lovable after all the things they have been through.

At first, Johnny was concerned to find Doyoung sob from afar. His face, however, turns into one filled with defeat when he reaches their bench and clearly sees what Doyoung is watching on his laptop.

“Remember the night when we drive you home from Chuncheon,” Johnny mutters hollowly, “after I ask you if we can start our lives together afresh; you said..., you don’t think there is any possibility to be with him anymore.”

“I’m really sorry. I should’ve said no that time. I..., argh....”

Doyoung manages to control his tears and lets out a sigh of grief, looking up at the ceiling before he continues very slowly with a shaky voice, “Do you remember that day you said I’m very different from other people you have met, and you like me because I have all these off-the-wall ideas.”

Johnny remains his gaze on Doyoung, knowing he has not finished his sentence.

“It’s all him. These quirky, bizarre ideas I have - they are all influenced by him. He... he is the one who affected me to think in this way,” Doyoung chokes, “and I..., I didn’t know when he started to leave such an irrevocable impact on me until you told me.”

Johnny stares at the floor expressionlessly after hearing Doyoung’s speech, almost tucking his chin to his chest.

“I..., I shouldn’t let you be blinded by the facade that I’m ready for another relationship, simply because I’m not with him anymore. I know you love me, but..., but I don't even know if I'm unwilling to forget him or just that I can't,” Doyoung adds, “I still love him, even he makes me mad sometimes and tries to make amends in very silly ways. I just...I don't know. I cannot stop my heart from asking me to welcome him with open arms when I see the slightest change from him, I'm sorry, and I..., I....”

“It’s fine, it’s...it’s really fine. It really is. I told you on that day; you sholud choose him if you cannot decide, and I’m glad you made a clear decision now, it’s better for both of us,” Johnny interrupts, contorting a languid smile, “I like you, but I won’t feel happy either if your soul is not here. I’d rather see you be with him if you really love him, with all your heart and soul. Just like someone I’ll find in the future that will do this to me.”

Doyoung flattens his lips into one straight line and shakes his head lightly, wiping his tears with the back of his hands; but his face are soon seen with two clear trail of tears again, "I'm just really sorry."

“Don’t mind me,” Johnny soothes, patting Doyoung’s shoulder with a wry smile, “Go find the person you love, like what I did for you.”

-

Ten is right. Normally, it takes around 30 minutes to Seoul Station by taxi, if only there was no traffic jam; Jaehyun does not arrive at Seoul Station until 9:15. He does not even wait for the change from the driver when he gets off from the taxi. With the biggest steps he can ever take with his legs, he sprints into the centre of the train station, only to realise he does not even know where to _start_ looking for Doyoung.

The terminal is much more massive than Jaehyun ever recalls. It almost seems boundless and ever- expanding to him, and he is struck by a view of masses of people travelling from all directions in a hurry. He runs around and turns his head left and right, glancing at the faces of every single person in the terminal to search for any reminiscences of a familiar figure.

But he finds no one that even looks like Doyoung; he is nowhere to be found for the next 15 minutes.

Jaehyun takes a look of his watch again, it’s 9:30 - the time Doyoung’s train is scheduled to leave. He gazes at the flap display showing train information on top of the ticket office, and the train to Busan is shown to have departed.

With a big sigh, he wanders towards the exit, even though he keeps on turning his head to his back and scan all the faces of the passers-by again and again. He turns his head one last time as he steps out of the train station in hopes of a miracle, even though he can almost remember some of the faces with the amount of scans he have taken.

In vain, he turns his head back with a sigh.

And there he see him.

It's him. It has to be him, the person he is looking for, standing opposite to the exit of the train station across the zebra crossing with his back facing him.

It takes Jaehyun a delay to fully recover from the overwhelming feeling in his chest, before he can bring all his power to yell at the top of his lungs.

“KIM! DO! YOUNG!”

Doyoung freezes at where he stands for a second, alerted by the scream behind him. He knows that it is Jaehyun, and he turns around to see Jaehyun jogging towards him.

For reasons he cannot even explain, he could feel his eyes become watery again, and he can tell Jaehyun is staring at him with eagerness.

“I know I haven’t done anything for you for the 2 years we were together. I’m sorry,” pants Jaehyun, recovering from the jog with a heaving chest, “And I really wanted to change. I know I need a big gesture to show that I really do. What you see is out of context. I... I rented a movie theatre and it’s supposed to be played after we watched a movie together as a surprise.”

While Doyoung is moved, he really hates himself for being obstinately analytical even in this scenario. He wants to challenge Jaehyun on at least two grounds - First, why would Jaehyun think he will agree to watch a movie with him in the first place. Second, why would such childish behaviour on the video be a sign of change, and, to be exact, what kind of change is Jaehyun pinpointing to.

Still, He chooses to remain silent and shuts down the picky side of himself, knowing that Jaehyun has not completed his speech.

“Yuta and Sicheng always say I’m the immature one in the bunch. They say I’m not good at caring and be considerate to others. And I know you feel the same too, because I never seem to be a serious person,” Jaehyun continues, “but... but I’m ready to change for you. I know I still have a long way to go, but I really want to be someone who’s worthy of your love, And I... really want to be with you again.”

Doyoung stares at Jaehyun with softness. Even though he still finds what Jaehyun does in the video very moronic, he cannot bring himself to hate Jaehyun’s underlying intention of making the video - Jaehyun wants him to feel loved, and Doyoung does.

“I don’t care if you are going to Beijing soon. I don’t care if your first love is Jinyoung from GOT7.” Jaehyun repeats, “I really really just want to be with you, can you... can you give me a chance to prove myself?”

Doyoung exhales heavily before he replies with a strange mix of adoration and anger, “Jung Jaehyun, if you don’t really mean it, just leave me alone. I... I’m not an easy to person to love. As you have said, I’m an expert at bottling up my feelings”

“But I love you just as your are,” utters Jaehyun before he takes a big step towards Doyoung, “as I have also said.”

Doyoung shifts his stare onto the floor. He is touched, despite Jaehyun’s poorly articulated speech and silly acts.

“Just give me a chance, _please_?” Jaehyun pleads, gazing at Doyoung intensely.  
Doyoung lift his head up and reciprocates Jaehyun’s gaze for a second, before he turns his head to

the right and looks upwards, funnelling all his energy to tighten his lips from leaking a beam. “Huh?” asks Jaehyun, also turning his head to the right and notices Doyoung’s smirk.

Seeing Jaehyun face turning to his direction, Doyoung immediately turns his head to the left with his lips curving upwards, which Jaehyun again follows at once and asks, “huh?”

Doyoung leaks a giggle before he tries to turn his head to the right again, being unable to conceal his joy anymore, only to be stopped by Jaehyun’s hands on both sides of his head.

“I’m serious, Kim Doyoung, please?” asks Jaehyun with his lips pointing upwards, staring at Doyoung with scalding intensity.

“You know the answer,” replies Doyoung, radiating a blossomed smile.

Right after, Doyoung can feel Jaehyun’s arms wrapping around him, a gesture that he eagerly reciprocates. Doyoung swears it’s the tightest hug he has ever felt, but he still craves for more.

“I love you,” Jaehyun declares, landing his head on Doyoung’s shoulder.  
“Me too,” Doyoung answers with his teeth showing, also placing his head on his lover’s shoulder.

The two remains in the tender embrace with their ever-widening smiles for a time that seems to last forever, savouring this wonderful moment of reunion.

“Hey,” Jaehyun breaks the silence after a pause, “um...what should we do now.” “Er...,” Doyoung ponders with chuckles, “make out?.”

“Can we do something more than that, like taking care of _the other Jaehyun_ tonight that you must have also missed?” asks Jaehyun, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Are you seriously making a dick joke right after we are back together,” Doyoung retracts from the hug and gives Jaehyun the death stare.

“ _Bitch please_ ,” Jaehyun answers, imitating Doyoung’s tone as he softly brushes Doyoung’s hair, “I’m talking about _your cat, Jaehyun_. Let’s just order pizza and go to your home. I miss him. He should come to my home if Ten and you always dread to take care of him.”

“We’ll think about it,” Doyoung replies half-heartedly, waving his hands.

“I really like your cat, why do you have to separate us,” Jaehyun pouts his lips to act cute, holding Doyoung’s luggage on one hand while placing the other on Doyoung’s shoulder as the two start to wanders on the street.

“Because you already have me, and you should love me more first. He is just a side-hoe.” “I sense jealousy.”  
“That’s the real me. Welcome to the dark side.”

“I’ve been there.” “I hate you.”

Life goes on.

Doyoung still has to reach Beijing by next week; and it’s the day his flight is scheduled to depart. He is now lying down on the sofa with his phone in his hands after packing, scrolling through Instagram and Facebook. Jaehyun is sitting on the end of the sofa, playing with their cat.

Another arguably ordinary weekend, if the part of Doyoung’s flight is excluded.

“Look,” utters Doyoung, signalling Jaehyun to take a look of his phone.

“Who’s that, he looks familiar,” asks Jaehyun, pointing at the person on the left.

“Tsk, the one who you said the mortality rate of becoming his boyfriend is 100 percent,” Doyoung retorts lazily.

“Huh? Jungwoo?”

“Yeah, he has now moved to Seoul to live with his boyfriend,” explains Doyoung, swiping right for other photos on their “house-warming” party.

“No kidding? You should organise another party when you come back, we should meet him and his boyfriend in person before it’s too late,” Jaehyun jokes.

“Your mouth really utters nothing but shit.”

“Your mouth utters nothing but poison too. By the way, have you deleted the clip?” asks Jaehyun, brushing the cat’s ears at the same time.

“What clip,” Doyoung replies casually, returning his gaze on the phone as he continues to scroll through Facebook.

“That one,” Jaehyun drawls out, staring at Doyoung.

“Which one?” Doyoung answers flatly, deliberately locking his eyes on the phone to avoid any contact.

“Have you deleted the _clip_?” Jaehyun asks again, leaning in with widening eyes. “Delete what?” Doyoung chuckles.  
“Tsk, come on..., I’m serious,” Jaehyun utters with a low voice.

“Oh~~~~ _That clip_ ,” Doyoung laughs, sitting up straight, “yes, it’s deleted.”

“Swear to God that you really have?” Jaehyun raises his eyebrows.

“No I can’t,” Doyoung snorts, placing one hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder, “I have a back up on my laptop.”

“I KNEW IT.”

“But...but I’m leaving soon. I’ll miss you,” Doyoung pouts his lips, “you look very cute in that Chip costume. I can always take a look of the clip and get a good laugh, just like all the people nearby when you film this.”

“You can look at the real person anytime!” Jaehyun quips, pointing at himself, “We can Skype! like what Yuta and Sicheng usually do. And I took annual leave to find you next month already.”

“Awwww Jung Jaehyun,... don’t make me delete it, please,” Doyoung half-hearted pleads with a chortle.

“I literally begged Yuta to delete his copy,” Jaehyun says with despair.

“Please.”

“I’ll fart if you don't delete it,” Jaehyun threatens.

“There is no use; your clip has such a high probative value that I can withstand any torture. I can lick shit from a toilet bowl just to keep a copy, well, maybe not, but you know what I mean.”

“Come on, come on, _please_...,” Jaehyun begs with his palms placed together. “Let’s watch it together once and delete it, deal?”  
“No, I don’t want to look at it. It’s so embarrassing, please...”  
“Just once, then delete.”

“No.”  
“ _Just once then delete. Just once then delete. Just once then delete. Just once then delete. Just once_

 _then delete. Just...,_ ” Doyoung repeats.

“You have to keep your word,” Jaehyun warns.

“Deal.”

“I’ll be in deep shit if this is leaked. Gees, what was I thinking,” Jaehyun places both of his hands on his head.

“You were thinking about me, whole-heartedly, and exclusively,” Doyoung surmises, turning on his laptop, “let me see...”

The two leans against each other as they watch Jaehyun’s video one last time. Doyoung cannot stop himself from giggling, while Jaehyun holds the Chip and Dale cushion right in front of face to cover himself. Simply listening to the speech before he starts running is more then sufficient to make Jaehyun’s ears and cheeks turn red.

“Can we re-watch once more?” Doyoung cackles after the video has ended.

“Tsk, Kim Doyoung...”

“Fine, I’ll keep my promise,” Doyoung assures, toggling the file to the Recycle Bin before closing the laptop, “you know, on second thought, that’s not how my dream really was. We run _together_ in Chip and Dale costumes in the airport, and, _well_ , aren’t we about to go to the airport.”

“What do you mean,” Jaehyun scrunches his nose.

“And you should still have the Chip and Dale costumes in your closet.”

Jaehyun gapes at Doyoung with an open mouth, “you want us to run in Chip and Dale costumes in the airport later when we get there.”

“You push too hard, darling, but I accept,” Doyoung smirks, quoting The Incredibles.

“I know that’s a a quote from Edna Mode. Don’t ruin another animated character for me,” Jaehyun rolls his eyes, standing up to get the car key near the front door.

“Wait, do we have to get going now? Isn’t it a bit too early though?” Doyoung asks from the sofa.

“If you really want to do what you suggested, We have to go to my home first, cause the costumes are in my apartment, and we have to move your heavy paper boxes with all your belongings to my car first, and we have to feed Jaehyun before that. So it’s about time,” Jaehyun recounts.

Doyoung crinkles into an affectionate smile before he stands up and strolls towards Jaehyun, “that’s a pity, you know, I was wondering if we can, umm..., squeeze some private time for us.”

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows as he sees Doyoung sending a telltale gaze to him. The two immediately tugs towards each other closer as their lips touch. Doyoung angles his head upwards to intensify their kiss while Jaehyun almost devours Doyoung’s face with remarkable yearn.

One of Jaehyun’s hand slide underneath Doyoung’s shirt when Doyoung roughly brushes Jaehyun’s hair with both hands. Jaehyun moves downward to plant gentle kisses on Doyoung’s neck before the latter starts to leak soft moans.

“Screw that stupid dream, this is more important,” Doyoung pants as he takes off Jaehyun’s shirt in one-go.

Jaehyun repeats the same act on Doyoung’s shirt; he also whips off his boyfriend’s belt and shoves down his pants and underwear hurriedly as their lips touch again. Doyoung hangs both of his arms on Jaehyun’s shoulder while the latter yanks his own pants off of his feet.

“I wanna try that Long Island Iced Tea-flavoured one for long,” whispers Doyoung into the back of Jaehyun’s neck.

Just as Jaehyun is about to reach the coffee table and rip open the wrapper, both of them hear the utmost frightening sound of a key rattling in the front door.

It has to be Ten.

“Fuck,” yells Doyoung, who immediately grabs the clothes on the floor to put them on. “Hold on! Don’t come in,” screams Jaehyun.

“Why? What is it?” yells Ten behind the front door.

The two did not respond while they hurriedly put on their garments with laughters.

“Oh my God,” Ten grunts in realisation as he remains behind the front door, “you horny bastards, aren’t you two supposed to be getting ready to the airport? Just put on everything quick and tell me when I can come in. ”

“okay okay okay,” Jaehyun and Doyoung replies at the same time as they giggle at each other for what just happened.

“And you guys are still laughing, gees, thank god I ask the kids to buy some drinks downstairs before they come up,” Ten chides, standing in the same position, “or else I have no idea how should I explain if they are here with me.”

“Um, Ten-shi, we are behind you now, actually,” Renjun utters flatly, holding the cans of coke in his hand.

Eventually, Jaehyun and Doyoung does not have the time to run in Chip and Dale costumes owing to the massive flow of tourists in the airport. The two are now squeezing tightly into each other’s arms in the airport, unwilling to be apart.

“Promise you’ll miss me, okay?” asks Doyoung woefully.

“Of course,” says Jaehyun as the two stands near the Departure Immigration Hall, “but can I ask you one last question before you go in.”

“Why not.”

“Swear you’ll be super honest.”

“Tsk, you’re like primary school kids, just ask.”

“You know, now I look back,” starts Jaehyun, pinching Doyoung’s cheek, “I think my video is pretty tacky actually, and I, I don’t think it conveys what I want to tell very well. I mean, I cannot emphasise enough how glad and thankful I am to be with you again, but why...why did come back to me even with that?”

“To be as honest as you want, the answer is — I don’t know; and I can’t pinpoint why either. it’s just a mix of different factors,” Doyoung heaves a bracing breath before he answers at a slow speed, “I just..., I just think our relationship still worth another leap of faith? I mean. Yes, I can feel your sincerity when you said you are ready to be a better you in that clip, but that's just the tipping point, and the clip itself is really shitty and non-sensical. A lot of things happened basically. Maybe it’s just because I... I really love you. No, i mean, I’m in love with you, or both.”

“Why are you making a difference between to love and to be in love; what kind of self-help book are you reading,” Jaehyun wonders.

“Tsk, You don’t need to know, but you have to thank that person.”

“Anyway,” answers Jaehyun, who suddenly takes a big, violent step towards Doyoung to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“Gees, _Jung Jaehyun_ ,” Doyoung scorns with a soft voice while he places his hand on his moist cheek, “don’t do this in public, we are surrounded by literally tons of people. I don’t want unnecessary attention.”

“But you deserve some heartfelt gestures as a reward for being so honest. I always claim you are very good at bottling up feelings, but when I look back, I’m not that bad at it either,” Jaehyun utters, shoving his hands in his pocket, “I just... don’t want us to walk on such a circuitous path anymore. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I really appreciate what you said, but, _eeeek_ , you are getting greasy; that’s what Jungwoo and Lucas do, and it makes me puke. Tone it down a bit,” Doyoung light-heartedly quips. “But you are the one who makes this convo greasy first.”  
“Cause you are asking me to be brutally honest!”  
“Fine.”

“By the way,” Doyoung changes their topic, “I’ll fly back here on the weekend following the next for a night, it’s Ten’s birthday, and we’ll have a costume party.”

“Okay...!? That’s new information, and I suppose we’ll just be Chip and Dale?.”

“You are so smart,” Doyoung compliments, aggressively pinching both sides of Jaehyun’s cheeks, “just put it on to make sure it still fits.”

“Why would it be unfit all of a sudden,” Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “I just put that on recently, if you recall.”

“Just make sure it’s not torn then, okay?” Doyoung flatly reminds, “That’s an important day for us too; it’s our anniversary.”

“Of course I remember — very distinctively indeed,” Jaehyun affirms, brushing Doyoung’s cheek, “we became official on his birthday party after you hit on me.”

“What the fuck?” Doyoung marvels, staring at Jaehyun with his mouth open.

“What,” asks Jaehyun, perplexed by Doyoung’s expression.

“ _I hit on you?_ what are you talking about? You hit on me first!” Doyoung disputes with a laugh.

“No, _you_ hit on me first,” insists Jaehyun, joining the laughter.

“You hit on me first!”

“It’s _you_.”

“ _Bitch pleas_ e, it’s _you_ , I’m _sure,_ ” Doyoung playfully avows, rolling his eyes.

“Is it really?” Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows, craning his neck forward with a smile.

“Tsk, are you amnesiac or sick or what?” Doyoung snickers, placing his hand on Jaehyun’s forehead, “you hit on me first!”

“Okay,” Jaehyun concedes, wrapping one of his arm around Doyoung’s shoulder from behind, “ _I hit on you first_ , okay?”

Doyoung hums as an agreement and nods his head violently, forming a beam from ear to ear before he turns his head and quickly leaves a peck on Jaehyun’s cheek.

“Didn’t you just lectured me for doing the same thing in public,” Jaehyun blurted.

“It’s the last one you’ll get before I leave, you should treasure it,” Doyoung utters, “time for me to go in.”

“Text me when you get there,” Jaehyun whispers by Doyoung’s ears as he grips his boyfriend’s waist towards him, placing his head on Doyoung’s shoulder, “miss me, okay?”

“As if your question invites no as an answer,” Doyoung replies with sarcasm, “of course I will.”

Doyoung then reaches his hand-carry luggage and walks towards the airport security check with Jaehyun following from behind. He turns around to take one last glance of Jaehyun after a few steps, only to see him doing finger hearts with pouted lips.

“Can you not do this?” Doyoung growls, trying to hide his laugh. He knows Jaehyun is trying to tease him by showing even more greasiness.

Jaehyun then places both of his hands on top of his head to form a heart shape with a opened- mouthed smile.

“Why do you always have to be so over-the-top stupid.” “That's why you love me.”

“No, fuck you.”

“Not a bad idea. We can try that when you come back.” “I hate you.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ^^


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